One used Pendulum seeking a loving home
I've experienced fluctuations in mood and opinion before but seriously, if I keep swinging around like this I am going to start resembling a pendulum.
I want A, but not all of A, A with a bit of B, but A with a bit of B isn't really A, so I don't want that. Actually, I don't want A or B, I want C, with a smidgen of M, but that'll piss me off before it even starts, so i'm back to A, which I want...but I don't cos it means vulnerability, struggle, honesty, hurt, anger and God knows what else.
And anyway, A shits me quite frankly - but in a good way, in a way that I think i could live with, but it still shits me. It's that kind of feeling when someone says or does something that makes you want to simultaneously scream at them, laugh with them and worst of all, hug them....and I wonder whether A will understand that.
And all this theorizing is a waste of time, because it's delusional at best and crazy at worst to think that I have any say in the matter...but that doesn't stop the swinging...
I want A, but not all of A, A with a bit of B, but A with a bit of B isn't really A, so I don't want that. Actually, I don't want A or B, I want C, with a smidgen of M, but that'll piss me off before it even starts, so i'm back to A, which I want...but I don't cos it means vulnerability, struggle, honesty, hurt, anger and God knows what else.
And anyway, A shits me quite frankly - but in a good way, in a way that I think i could live with, but it still shits me. It's that kind of feeling when someone says or does something that makes you want to simultaneously scream at them, laugh with them and worst of all, hug them....and I wonder whether A will understand that.
And all this theorizing is a waste of time, because it's delusional at best and crazy at worst to think that I have any say in the matter...but that doesn't stop the swinging...