(no subject)
My head hurts again.... Driving to school the other day and almost hitting my head on the steering wheel made me realize I've got some serious changes that need to be made. I am, afterall, a grown-up now. Right? It was the third night in a row i'd slept under 3 hours. For no reason...or at least, no reason i was up until that point. By the end of the evening, i was trying to learn Linux, a long-deceased Computer Coding formula . I am a mess. In every way. I need to stop smoking cigarettes. I need to not make decisions at 4 am to blow lines of aderol in someones bathroom, and then taking another to wake up the next morning again. I need to cut back on caffeine and start exercising again. My heart is cold. I cant even write anymore, here, or anywhere. When i'm around people mostly now, i can only see the skeletons they are trying to hide. it is tragic. everyones fucked up, i dont know what my plight is in that either. beth made a great point the other night, that you cant think about how crazy you feel or it makes you crazier. and to remember, you are never the craziest one. i know im not. im just another moody and wounded college kid with an addictive personality and a propensity for seeking out trouble - a fitting description for most all my friends i think.
in the next week, im doing the following. not fucking around.
im rejoining the gym. and the yoga studio.
im going to sleep every night before 2.
im getting the patch and quiting smoking.
im only drinking 2 cups of coffee a day.
i know its a tall order. please dont let me fail at this.
in the next week, im doing the following. not fucking around.
im rejoining the gym. and the yoga studio.
im going to sleep every night before 2.
im getting the patch and quiting smoking.
im only drinking 2 cups of coffee a day.
i know its a tall order. please dont let me fail at this.