LJIdol Home Game Week 29 - Milkshake Duck
“Milkshake Duck” is an Internet meme that describes phenomena that are initially perceived as positive but later revealed to be flawed
--
Everyone loves an underdog story: of a misfit who comes out on top; of one of the downtrodden finally rising up; of an outcast becoming accepted for who they are. We love these stories because they give us hope for society, and sometimes for ourselves.
This is one of those stories.
It starts with an orphan who grows up in a group home. He is oversized, clumsy, and pale. He is constantly teased for having no manners, and for being ugly. Though he is larger than the others, they pick on him mercilessly, and he becomes the local laughingstock. Eventually, even the caretakers decide he is not worth their effort to raise properly. And while he tries to fit in, he cannot help but to believe what he hears about himself. In time, his self-worth drops so low that he runs away.
Alone and unprepared for the real world, the orphan falls in with a small gang of ne’er-do-wells who allow him to tag along merely because it amuses them. They pick on him, but not as badly as back at the home, and they make him a part of the team, if mostly as a lark. However, it isn’t made to last, and the gang is hunted down and killed in a hail of gunfire. The orphan survives by playing dead, laying among the bodies of his new friends as the hunters walk right by him. After a time, they leave, the noise and the horror subsides, and he makes his escape.
Alone and homeless once again, the orphan sets out in search of a future. Over an extended period of instability, he experiences many trials and tribulations. He finds himself taken in by those who treat him like a servant then abandon him when he is no longer of use to them. He struggles to survive through lean times and terrible storms. He is saved from dying in the cold only to be attacked and laughed at by those he thought of as his saviors. Over time he grows healthy, but sad and lonely.
Finally, after extended time alone, he reaches out to another group for friendship and for the first time in his life finds true acceptance. Because he has grown up to be beautiful and strong. And among his new friends he is truly happy for the first time. And once he tells it, people will appreciate his story.
--
Everyone loves a story about “just desserts”: of someone who deserves to be taken down finally getting their due; of someone who pays the price for their misdeeds; of a bad actor being brought low and their wrongness brought into the light. We love these stories because they give us hope for vengeance, for society, and for ourselves.
This is one of those stories.
It starts with an orphan who grows up in a group home. He is oversized, awkward, and mean. He is constantly acting out, and snarls at anyone who tries to approach him. Because he is larger than the others, he harasses them mercilessly, and he becomes a constant cause of fear and concern among his peers. Eventually, even the caretakers decide he is not worth their effort to civilize. Because they are all afraid of him, he cannot help but to believe what he hears about himself. In time, his self-worth is so over-inflated that he leaves the group home in search of greater things more appropriate to his stature.
Alone but unafraid of the real world, the orphan falls in with a small gang of ne’er-do-wells who allow him to join due to his size and strength. They are afraid of him, but not as much as back at the home, and they make him a co-leader of the team, if mostly in an attempt to prevent him from attacking them. However, it isn’t made to last, as in time the orphan believes the gang is holding him back. In a spark of inspiration, he leads the gang into a trap where they are hunted down and killed in a hail of gunfire. The orphan survives because the hunters recognize his betrayal, and thank him for the opportunity. He then makes his escape in order to avoid any potential revenge by any survivors.
Alone and on the hunt once again, the orphan sets out in search of a future. Over an extended period of flux, he experiences many successes and few failures. He finds himself taken in by those who treat him well but he abandons them when they are no longer of use to him. He steals from the weak during lean times and forces himself upon homeowners to avoid terrible storms. He avoids dying in the cold by tricking those who thought themselves to be his saviors into believing his lies. He grows strong and proud and arrogant.
Finally, one day, he creates his own gang. Because he is truly selfish and violent, and he chooses his underlings carefully, he rules over them in a state of constant fear. But the gang is his. And he is what he thinks of as happy for the first time. And once he rewrites it, people will appreciate his story.
--
If there is one thing society seems to like even more than underdog stories or stories about “just desserts”, it is when they are the same story: of taking down one who has risen to the top, one who claimed to have been a victim when they were truly the villain; of unmasking the truth that the worthy are not so worthy. We love these stories because it gives us an excuse for not succeeding where others have, because those others should not have been allowed to succeed. We cannot stand our own failure, so we tear down those that prosper.
This could have been one of those stories.
Who is telling the truth? We may never know. The truth is lost to history.
--
If there is one thing history does most often with stories, it is simplifying them to the point where even a child can understand them, taking away the uncomfortable truths, and emphasizing the parts that society wants their children to emulate.
And so, there exists a final version of this story, the one we all know: The Ugly Duckling.
Is it better for us than the truth? We can never know. The truth doesn’t matter to history.