LJIdol Week 15 - Busman's Holiday
December 26
“Take a vacation. Let the rest of the boys take care of things for a while. That’s not a request. I’ve already packed for you and set you up at an all-inclusive. The plane leaves in 2 hours. The cab is out front. Now shut down your computer and go.”
And with that, I was boot-kicked towards some year-end mandatory fun.
As anyone that knows me can tell you, I am not good at having down time. My brain is used to running on overdrive. My motto is “Work hard, work hard.” My down time is the four or five hours of sleep I get after I pass out each night. Vacations are something from my childhood. Retirement is a pipe dream I don’t ever expect to reach, and certainly not to enjoy.
I have always looked at “relaxation” as a waste of the precious limited time we have on this planet. I don’t believe in reincarnation or any afterlife. I have this one chance, and I am going to make the most of it. And making the most of it means continuously churning. Down time just doesn’t fit into that formula.
But the last few months have been overly busy, even for me. And my business partner, Anthony, he must have seen something that made him worry. Maybe it was the growing discoloration under my eyes. Maybe it was the way I started getting snippy with him when discussing future options. Maybe it was that I made a mistake that almost cost us a couple million dollars and put us in legal jeopardy.
Okay, it was definitely that last one.
So, here I am sitting in the lobby of a resort on the coast of somewhere, freshly groomed and pampered on Anthony’s dime, reading the financial papers and taking notes with pen and paper. Because, let’s face it, I don’t really know how to relax.
December 27
It seems I have made an impression on some of the other guests.
This morning, I met one Mr. James Patrick, or “J.P.” as he prefers to be called. He is a “magnate in the wool industry” (who knew that still existed in this age of synthetics?). He is on holiday celebrating a fabulous year at his business. Having noticed me deep into the financial journals for a couple days, he came and joined me at a table in the lobby and interrupted my reading. Apparently, he made a personal fortune this year, but given the new codes, he is now looking at a massive tax burden. I am not sure if he wanted to brag or complain, or more likely both. But we hit it off well. Both of us are workaholics. And more importantly, he was very interested in my take on tax shelters and international business options. We set up a time to talk tomorrow following his afternoon spa reservation.
Later in the day, I went to stick my feet in the hot springs and found myself sitting next to a newly engaged couple. The sulfur smell was rather strong, and apparently had made the young lady wary of getting anything higher than her ankles wet lest it ruin her suit, or even worse, her new engagement ring which she showed off to everyone in the area. To be fair, it was a beautiful clear stone, more than 3 carats, and strikingly cut in a teardrop shape. Her fiancé was presumably wealthy, but he repeatedly rebuffed my attempts to discuss either what he did or his financial state. He also seemed a bit unhappy at the attention that the young lady was getting from all the other guests. As she wandered around showing off her new jewelry, he confided that if he had known that it would become the center of everyone’s attention, he might not have made such a large purchase. Additionally, it turned out, they were booked through the end of the year in a room right next to her parents. Not, as he put it less gently than I will here, the best setup for their newly engaged status. I have a feeling I may see him at the bar a few times over the next few days.
Perhaps most interestingly, I believe I may be being followed by two young ladies who are staying here. They keep looking over at me and then turning away quickly when I glance up. Lots of wide eyes and whispering. I will have to investigate further.
December 28
J.P. is pretty desperate to save some money before the tax year is up. Apparently, he spent a little too much of his earnings this year on “non-tax deductible” (illegal) items. I am working with him on some opportunities that might save him significantly both this year and next. We spent about three hours talking and he has offered to show me his business’ financial info in the morning so I can see if there are any other areas I can help with. It’s nice to get a chance to use my brain and talents after sitting around for a couple days. Maybe this “vacation” will be a good thing after all.
On that note, I heard from the nice man at the front desk that the young ladies apparently have been asking around about me. He said that they noticed how much I look like a certain aging legendary rock star, who used to be known to frequent these parts under an assumed name to get away from it all, and they wanted to know if I was him. I can’t decide whether to be amused or insulted. The desk clerk told them he was not allowed to say one way or the other, and I said that suited me fine.
Meanwhile, as expected, I ran into Daniel (the fiancé) at the bar this evening. He is still being protective about his professional life, but I did manage to get him to admit he works in antiquities. Apparently, the diamond in the engagement ring was paid for with money that was supposed to come in for the purchase of an ancient burial chest he had acquired. The purchase hit a snag when the buyer turned out to be “not liquid” financially. Unfortunately, he had already bought the ring. I almost feel bad for the guy. He seems to be in a really tough place.
December 29
Spent the better part of today working with J.P. on his business. We are working through some tax loops that should save him significant money in the long run. Hard to do too much for this year, being so near the end of December. He has given me access to his people back home so I can work while he gets his spa treatments. He goes twice a day for at least two hours at a time.
I did run into Daniel again at the bar. He seems really upset, and opened up more after a couple of drinks. Apparently, if he doesn’t sell the chest, he may have to go belly up to pay the jeweler for the ring. I suggested just taking the ring back, but he says he can’t do it to his fiancé. She apparently is extremely happy with her precious treasure. Though it is hard to say how happy she is with him. She was nowhere to be seen. If I wasn’t still miffed at being sent away, I would ask Anthony if he would be interested in purchasing the chest. He has always liked ancient relics.
On a side note, I decided to go to the club tonight. I dressed in an old outfit Anthony sent along for me. It felt a bit retro, but it made for easy movement when dancing. The young ladies were there too, and they were definitely watching me. Living the Rock and Roll lifestyle.
December 30
I never thought anyone could learn so much about the wool business so quickly.
I spoke with Daniel’s fiancé. Apparently, things are going really badly, and she is having second thoughts. I think I have a way to help them both out.
I think I’ll go back to the club for a bit.
January 1
Busy couple days.
I was able to get everything set up for J.P. early in the day and therefore before the year ended. A couple Cayman accounts, some nice charitable donations, and corporate documents for new subsidiaries that can protect him from tax and legal liabilities in the future. He insisted on paying me twice my asking fee (to be fair, he wrote that off too). Even transferred it by wire to make sure it came out in the current year.
I made a deal to purchase the chest from Daniel. He was desperate, so I got it really cheap. Just enough so he can pay down the ring cost to a manageable level. Of course, not long afterwards, his fiancé and her parents left without him. She stopped by my room on the way out to thank me for my advice, and to give me a box with the ring to give back to Daniel.
Meanwhile, the young ladies and I were at the club to party in the New Year and… Well, I don’t want to kiss and tell. Let’s just say I gave them a legendary story to tell their friends.
January 2
Anthony welcomed me back today with a smile and a shake of the head. I guess I didn’t really get away from it all during what ended up being a busman’s holiday, but it did reinvigorate me. The end result was a good one: Two new shell companies we can use, three new bank accounts that we have the routing numbers and passwords for, a nice ancient burial chest for Anthony, and several hundred thousand dollars in clean money. Oh, and a beautiful teardrop diamond that I think I will make into a nice necklace. Plus, three marks that not only didn’t know what hit them, but are probably happy enough with me that I could keep them on the hook for more.
Also, a very invigorating New Year’s Eve and morning. I made sure to thank Anthony for setting that in motion, and for providing me with the proper look for that one. Good that he knows his classic rock.
All in all, an enjoyable and profitable vacation.
Time to see what the boys have been working on without me for our next con.