Short Story
“Who’s that?” I sat up in my bed, peering at the doorway that had just swung open to reveal a slice of orange light that fell from the hallway outside of my bedroom. “Who’s there?” I whispered a little louder as the door closed behind a black figure. The room was left in complete darkness, save for the little lamp-light that was coming from outside my window. “Who is it?” I hissed at the stranger. My eyes were starting to adjust to the dark.
“Shh. It’s only me,” Taylor whispered frantically. “Don’t speak too loud, Zac, or someone’s going to hear us.” The dark figure of my older brother hovered over the bed, and he lifted the covers with one hand so he could climb in beside me. I felt the bed shift as he got settled, and warmth radiated from his body as he shuffled closer to me. Suddenly, he lay still and I tried to look at his face. I saw only a faint sparkle of his eyes in the darkness. “Zac?” he whispered. I felt his warm breath on my cheek, and I could smell something nice - something sweet. “I brought candy and comics!” he whispered again, happiness in his voice.
“Comics?” I giggled lightly. “You’re such a baby!” I laughed as I imagined his face covered in an annoyed frown. He shoved me gently and I grabbed his arm to stop myself from falling off the bed. That made him laugh in turn, and I shoved him back harder. He grabbed me and dropped the comic to the floor on accident. It made a loud ‘thump’ and we both froze, holding our breaths as we waited for someone to notice in the rest of the house. Nobody did, so after a few heart racing moments we both settled back against my pillows.
“Jerk,” Tay whispered to me. I elbowed him in the ribs and he whined slightly. After that we sat in complete silence. Only the sounds of our breathing could be heard faintly. Our bare legs were resting beside each other beneath the thick covers, and his hip was digging into my waist slightly. Our elbows brushed against each other as he reached up and tucked his hair behind his ear.
“Shall we read then?” I asked quietly. I saw his head turn to face me, and I saw that pretty glint in his eyes. He shrugged his shoulders after a few moments of silence. “Well…if we’re not reading, then what did you sneak in here for?” I asked him.
“I was going to read, but - the comic’s on the floor now, so…we can’t read it,” he replied. I settled with his answer and slid down the bed so my head was on the pillow. Taylor stayed where he was so my head was facing the top of his thigh. He was wearing boxers - I couldn’t tell what colour they were, but I knew that he was wearing a grey t-shirt. I felt him shuffling around, and then I heard the rustle of sweet wrappers. “Want one?” he asked with a full mouth. I nodded from beside him and he unwrapped another sweet. I felt his fingers against my lips as he pushed the sweet into my mouth from above me. His fingers slipped past my lips by an inch and I tasted the salt of his fingertips mixed with the block of sugar he’d just given me, before he pulled them away and settled back.
“How long you staying in here?” I asked him quietly, my mouth full.
“Trying to get rid of me?”
“No. I’m just asking,” I replied.
“I don’t know how long…” He stayed silent for a long while, but then he slid down and faced me beneath the covers. “Can I stay?” he whispered. His sweet breath blew across my face, and I saw that small glint of blue in his eyes again. “Please?” he asked.
“Course you can,” I replied. “Why though?”
He shuffled closer to me and our noses were only mere inches apart before he settled again. He hooked his elbows with mine so that my hands were against his warm chest and his hands were against mine. Our bare knees touched, and the curious excitement I felt made me feel dizzy with happiness and warmth. He moved his face closer to mine. “I don’t want to be on my own,” he whispered against my cheek. “I like it better here.”
“Okay,” I replied, swallowing hard. I saw him smile and he moved even closer, if it was possible. I could smell his shampoo and his cologne and his own scent; his natural scent. He comforted me to no end. He unhooked our elbows and pulled my arms around his neck. I couldn’t bring myself to speak, or to even question him, so I just obliged to his silent commands. I tightened my arms around his throat and he pulled me closer against his chest from my hips; then his hands rested against my lower back. I saw him smile again and he rubbed his nose against my cheek, and then the side of my own nose. Warm sensations rocketed throughout my whole body just because of those tiny actions he was doing to me.
“You okay?” he whispered so close to my skin. I could only nod slightly in response. I felt his thigh slip between my own thighs, and he pushed it upwards so that I let out a long breath. I thought that I heard him giggle ever-so softly. He pushed against me and pulled our t-shirts up around our chests. He pressed his soft warm stomach up against mine and I felt every slight curve; his ribs, his bellybutton, his hips. “Have you ever…” He didn’t finish the sentence, but looked down at my chest as a blush crept into his pink cheeks. His face had turned serious. He was no longer in a playful mood; I could tell.
“What? Have I ever what?” I asked quietly. He shrugged in response, so I nudged his nose with my nose and he looked up at me with those sparkling blue gems. “Tell me,” I pleaded with him. “Tell me what you were going to say.”
“Kay…have you ever kissed anyone?” he asked me. He didn’t look away this time, but I did. “Does that mean - no?” he asked; not a hint of maliciousness in his soft voice. I shrugged and he nodded in understanding. “Don’t worry; I haven’t either.” I looked up at him in surprise. He smiled. “I guess you’ve never done anything else then…” he nudged my erection with his thigh and I whimpered as I turned red. He giggled lightly. “I can teach you,” he said as if it was normal. I just stared at him in disbelief. He raised his eyebrow. “Want me to teach you or not?” he asked with a small smile. I nodded but never took my eyes off his. “Okay. It’s just between us though. Right?” I nodded again. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I replied in a faint whisper. He nodded and gazed at me before he hugged me close to him. In a flash his lips were on mine, and I could feel them moving, coaxing me. I was still for a few moments, but then his mouth opened and I felt a warm wetness. He forced his tongue into my mouth and swirled it in slow movements. I was a blur of confusion and nerves, and he wasn’t waiting for me to catch up with him. I heard a giggle and then he pulled back to smirk at me. My mouth felt empty; he’d sucked my candy out of my mouth, and he chewed happily for a few moments before he swallowed and smiled at me.
“My favourite,” he whispered before he clambered on top of my body, pushing his thigh in between my legs roughly. He pinned my shoulders to the bed with his hands and rubbed against me forcefully. I was scared and excited at the same time. He rubbed his sweet lips against me again and slipped his tongue into my mouth. I closed my lips in fear. “Open them,” he whispered as he pulled away for a moment. “Let me in,” he purred. He kissed me again and I let his soft slippery tongue in between my lips reluctantly. This sensation was too different for me, but not for Taylor. He whimpered into my mouth as his hips grinded against my crotch, and he stroked the sides of my bare stomach with his quick fingertips. He was out of control - and that scared me. He was like an animal from above me - no control.
Throughout the rest of that long and terrifying night, Taylor came over my hand and my stomach three times without another thought or another word to me. He groaned quietly beneath the covers, and he buried his face into my pillows when he orgasmed so that he wasn’t too loud. He bruised my thigh with his hectic thrusts, and my lips were red and swollen by the time morning came round. Taylor cuddled me close when he was finished, and he licked my wounds lovingly, but as I grew older I never managed to let the anger go. He abused me because I didn’t want it. I - didn’t - want - it.
---
A year later I stormed into Taylor’s bedroom. “Where the fuck is it, idiot?” I slammed his door closed behind us. He looked up at me in surprise and confusion from where he was lying on the bed with his book.
“Where’s what?” he asked innocently. He laid down his book on the bedside table and stared at me.
“My game. You know what I’m talking about. I bet you hid it on purpose - selfish bastard. You always ruin-”
“What?”
“-you always ruin everything for me. I hate you! Why can’t you just fuck off and leave me alone?” I screamed at him, my anger from the past year pouring out in one huge waterfall. I grabbed him by the neck and pulled him off his bed with one hard tug. He grasped at my hands desperately and sputtered as I dragged him across the carpet. I heard his shirt rip in my rough fingers. “I hate you,” I seethed through clenched teeth as I slammed his back up against the wall. A gasp of air escaped his throat and pain was written across his perfect sweet face.
“Get the fuck off me, bastard,” he spat as he kneed me in the lower stomach. I coughed and doubled over as the burning pain shot through my whole body. He pushed me away from him and slapped me around the face with the back of his hand. The force threw me back slightly, and anger tore through my mind again. I punched him in the cheek as hard as I could and he collapsed against his bedroom wall. He curled in on himself and buried his face in his arms. I pulled him away and pushed his helpless body towards his bed where he fell on his back. I climbed on top of his heaving chest and dragged him to the centre of the covers roughly. Tears began to stream down his face and he tried to crawl away from me, but I wouldn’t let him. I pinned him to the bed, like he’d done to me the previous year, and I kissed him as hard as I could. He didn’t kiss me back so I bit at his tender lips until I could taste the sweet salt of his blood. I could almost see red as I sucked it out of him roughly.
“My favourite!” I grinned at him for a second before I grabbed his hand and forced it down the front of my jeans. He tried to pull it away desperately but I wouldn’t allow it. I trapped it there and grinded my erection into his palm as hard as I could. He cried, as I had wanted to last year, only I’d been brave enough to hold the tears in. Not him though - no.
Throughout the rest of that long and terrifying morning, I came over Taylor’s hand and his stomach four times without another thought or another word to him. He groaned quietly beneath my body, and he buried his face into his pillows when he cried. I bruised his cheek with my punch and his lips were pink and swollen by the time the afternoon came round.
Later that evening I curled up on the living room couch by myself and cried quietly as I watched a blank television screen. A few minutes later my tears dried up and Taylor came thought the front door with a bag in his hands. He slipped out of his coat and shoes by the door, and then he came to me. He sat on the floor in front of me and stared up like a lost puppy with blue eyes. Tears shone and I felt like the most evil human being on the planet.
“Zac?” he whimpered softly as a tear fell across his bruised cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m really, really, really sorry.” He stared at me, pleading for forgiveness, even though I should have been doing the same to him. "I got you a new game...but I swear I didn't take your other one. Really, I didn't." I felt my heart swell with feelings. Guilt.
Taylor cuddled me close that evening on the couch, and we stroked each others’ wounds lovingly, and as I grew older I managed to let the anger go. He abused me because I didn’t want it, so I hurt him back. And now - I’ll never admit it to him - I’m glad every detail happened. Every single detail.