(no subject)
1. So there's these 2 muffins in an oven.
They're both sitting, just chilling and getting baked.
And one of them yells "God Damn, it's hot in here!"
And the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"
2.THINGS TO THINK ABOUT;
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
3. Chinese Proverbs;
Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. lol
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left. (very wise)
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.