Love Stays Strong - Chapter 18
Title: Love Stays Strong
Pairing: Akame
Genre: It's angst, angst and more angst! *runs*
Rating: PG 13
Summary: They told him he had an accident, and had been in coma for two weeks. But he couldn't remember the fateful event at all, he didn't know what and how it happened. Kame just couldn't recall the accident but the thing that hurt him the most was Jin had disappeared during the times he needed him the most.
Disclaimer: Akame characters don't belong to me in any way.
Special note: Once again, thank you to my dearest beta! <333
Chapter 18 - One Misunderstanding leads to two hearts Broken
----- ` -----
Kame woke up to a brand new day with a smile on his face. Turning to look at his lover’s contented expression in his sleep, his heart overwhelmed with happiness. But even so, that happiness didn’t stay for long.Kame shifted gently to lean against the head board as he dazed off and stared into the thin air, feeling the sadness once again.
He sighed.
He wanted so much to forget about his true condition. And he reminded himself that he would; at least for every moment he could, he would pretend that nothing had happened.
It’s no use to be sad over it.
As he glanced at the sleeping form next to him once again, his troubles got washed away in his mind the moment he saw the sweet smile on his lover’s face. It was pretty obvious that Jin was dreaming of him, smiling like that.
Just then, Jin stirred in his sleep.
“Kazuya …” Jin murmured and pouted when he felt that Kame was not in his arms. Even in his sleep, Jin managed to act that way, Kame chuckled. Lying back onto the bed, he snuggled close to Jin and laid his head on Jin’s chest, hearing the strong but steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Kame smiled brightly as he placed an arm over Jin’s strong torso, before closing his eyes to enjoy this beautiful moment.
“I love you, Jin.”
----- ` -----
Yamapi walked down the stairs, only to hear clanging and clattering sounds of pans coming from the kitchen. Raising his eyebrows, he walked towards the source of the sound. Upon reaching the kitchen door, his eyes widened in surprise at the image in front of him, he stood frozen.
“Ahhh! Good morning, Yamapi!” Kame greeted him with an exceptionally cheerful smile on his face as he pointed to the plate of piping hot pancakes next to the microwave, “Do you want some pancakes that I’ve made?”
Yamapi blinked as he glanced up to the clock. It’s only 8 in the morning, is there something troubling Kame.., he thought. He wanted to ask why the younger man was up so early in the morning, but decided against so, just in case the question hurt the young man unintentionally.
“Let me take a bath first. I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
Nodding his head enthusiastically, Kame returned to his job of preparing other food for breakfast. He seemed too indulged in breakfast-making, Yamapi noted. Scratching his head, he walked out of the kitchen sleepily.
Or maybe, I should go sleep in for a little while more.
----- ` -----
“Pancakes!” Jin shouted excitedly the moment he was wheeled to the dining table by his younger brother. Clapping his hands, he smiled at Kame warmly, knowing it was him who had prepared breakfast, as always.
“My, I didn’t know you liked pancakes that much, onii-chan.” Reo remarked in surprise as he sat down beside Jin. He knew that his brother didn’t mind eating pancakes, but it was definitely not his favorite food, therefore it was amusing to see Jin reacting that way. “That’s very strange, coming from you.”
Love could really make everything so sweet in life.
“It’s different when Kazuya made them. It tastes different somehow.” Jin took a bite of the pancake. He squealed in delight as he tasted it, his eyes closing with much satisfaction. “It’s so delicious!!!”
Jin turned to face Kame, feeding a piece of cut pancake to him. With a smile, Kame lovingly accepted it, totally enjoyed being pampered by his lover. “It’s really delicious, right?” Jin asked happily. Kame nodded.
“I wonder why yours taste better than others …” Jin wondered as he fiddled with his fork.
“… Because Kazuya-kun made it with love. DUH.” Reo interrupted.
Feeling overly happy at the perfect answer given by his younger brother, Jin put down his fork on the plate, inching closer to Kame with a loving look, and planted a kiss on his lips.
“Thank you, baby.”
Placing his fingers on his lips, Kame nodded his head and flashed out a large smile. Small things like this made him happy.
It was enough to remember by.
----- ` -----
“It’s no use.” Kamenashi Yoijiro shook his head disappointedly. “Kazuya shut his mobile phone. There’s still no response today.”
Mrs Kamenashi slumped to the sofa dejectedly, feeling worried than ever at this moment of time. As a mother, she was totallyhelpless. “Kazuya …”
They would just have to wait till Kame returns to Tokyo.
----- ` -----
“Let’s go sight-seeing! The four of us!” Kame suddenly suggested with a cheery aura, causing the other three to flash him an amused smile. Not receiving any response from them, he continued enthusiastically, “Outdoor activities would be good for us. Am I right, Jin?” He turned to face his lover, waiting for an answer.
Clasping his hand into his, Jin nodded with a smile. “It’s a great idea. Let’s think of some place to go.”
Kame’s face beamed with happiness when he received a positive response from Jin. By making himself cheerful, Kame managed to forget the fact about his latest health condition.
He wanted to pretend and forget about everything, putting on a façade.
Because it really hurt when he remembered that his life might be ending soon.
“Want to visit the shrine here?” Reo suggested when none of them was able to come up with a location in the past few minutes.
Three pairs of eyes stared at him in awe as they looked at one another meaningfully.
----- ` -----
Kame wrote something on the block of wood and passed it to Jin, handing him the marker as well, with a bright smile on his face. Nodding his head, Jin wrote a special note before giving it back to Kame to put it where it belonged.
Looking at the prayer block they had placed inside the shrine, both were proud at what they wrote. With a last glance, they left the place, hand-in-hand.
May Jin be able to walk again!
I want Kazuya to be happy always.
----- ` -----
Three days had passed since Jin’s discharge from the hospital. During this period of time, Kame felt happier than ever because he was able to spend time with his beloved. By now, he had totally gotten over the initial sadness when he knew about his health condition.
Things had been running smoothly too, as he has not been experiencing any headaches for the last two days. The flashbacks seemed to have taken a vacation from his mind. He was grateful for that.
Kame knew he would have to face reality sooner or later … But for now, he didn’t want to worryaboutthe future. He wanted to enjoy his time together with Jin until his two weeks break would be over.
That was what Kame had thought initially. Not knowing to him, things wouldn’t go as smoothly as he had planned. Instead, it was going down the tunnel of darkness, and he would get in the process.
Never would he ever imagine that the Jin whom he loves so much would look at him with much hatred, and anguish.
----- ` -----
“I don’t want you to go …” Kame murmured, his head resting against Jin’s chest, not wanting to be apart from him for even a few hours. As much as he wanted him to be with his family for lunch, he wanted him all for himself too.
“I’ll be right back, Kazuya.” Jin pulled him closer, playing with his hair lovingly. “We’ll be back in each other’s arms in no time. I promise.”
Kame finally nodded and relented, knowing that Jin would fulfill his every promise. He trusted Jin. With that, Kame gave the latter a quick kiss on the lips, “You know that I love you, right?” He suddenly asked.
Jin raised his eyebrows at the sudden question. He just murmured a soft ‘yes’ to convince and embraced Kame real tight when he noticed how insecure the youth was.
“Love you too, sweetheart.”
----- ` -----
Sighing at the sudden loneliness being all alone in this house, Kame found himself sitting on the comforting sofa in the living room, leaning against the warm fabric, closing his eyes as he pretended that it was his lover he is snuggling against.
Why it does always feel like heaven wants to separate us? Even right at this moment, I feel that I’m tearing apart from you, slowly drifting away to the beautiful blue ocean.
I have a feeling that something dreadful is coming our way.
What or why, I don’t really know …
Scanning his surroundings, Kame realized that he was indeed alone; even Yamapi was nowhere to be found.
Or so he thought.
His best friend was in the guest bedroom all along.
Kame slowly drifted off to the wonderland, not oblivious to the real world anymore as his eyelids closed shut.
----- ` -----
Kame squeaked in total surprise when he felt a hand on his shoulders, waking him instantly from his sleep. Hunching over, he realized that it was only his best friend behind him.
“I hope you don’t mind me doing this …” Before Kame was able to process anything further, he found his lips being pressed by the latter’s, causing his eyes to widen in fear.He tried to break free, but was held in place by the builder and bigger body.
“Mmmph … Pi …” Kame managed to murmur out as he continued to struggle to get out of Yamapi’s firm hold, but to no avail. His mind was still shock about what was happening right at this instant.
His best friend had just kissed him.
“Don’t you worry about Jin.” Yamapi whispered pulling the one he loved so much closer. “He won’t be back anytime soon. He told me he would be back after having dinner as well.” He broke free from the kiss as he looked at the younger man with love.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Pi?” Kame whispered fearfully, looking at him rather differently now. “Please get off me. I wouldn’t want Jin to…”
“It’s all about Jin! Can we not talk about him for just … an hour?” Yamapi raised his hands in frustration at the mention of that name. It belonged to none other than his best friend, but it hurt a flesh of his heart every time his love mentioned it.
It hurt so much …
“Pi, Jin’s your best friend!! How can you say that?” Kame reprimanded the older man, somehow not recognizing the man in front of him. The one who was standing in front of him was not the friend he knew. “Why are you doing this? This is not you. You’re not acting like yourself!"
He was completely different person.
“I said stop talking about him, okay! Even if it’s for ten minutes, it’s also fine!” He shouted on top of his lungs, glaring at Kame dangerously, shutting him up almost immediately. The younger man moved to the edge of the sofa quickly, wanting to be far away from him as possible.
“Ahhh, to hell with that plan. I don’t care anymore.” He murmured silently. Heaving out one deep breath, Yamapi finally decided.
Everyone deserved a chance in love, and he would do what it takes for him to get Kamenashi Kazuya. It didn’t matter even if it was merely a one sided love, as long as he had him by his side.
I’ve got you for now. Yamapi smiled.
Love should be a beautiful thing, but his love for Kame had changed him as a person. He eventually followed his heart, and not his mind, even with the awareness that he might lose two of his best friends at the end of day.
I don’t care.
Yamapi had actually taken the risk to get hurt by pretending to be someone else, just to get the attention of the one he loves.
He didn’t know that the one hurting the most from his action was none other than Kame, the very one person whom he had fallen in love with. For Jin trusts him more than anyone else, even more than Kame.
In this situation, Kame was the real victim, and not Yamapi himself.
----- ` -----
Using his stronger strength to his advantage, Yamapi now lied on top of his friend, holding him firmly, not allowing him to move an inch from him as a smirk once again formed on his expression.
“Pi, snap out of it, okay? Get off me!” Kame demanded, continuously pushing the built man with his weaker arms, but of course, with no success. His friend was just too strong for him.
“I’m not going to let you go now.” Yamapi simply whispered, kissing Kame forcefully on the lips, not caring that the latter didn’t respond to his kisses.
Kame chose to remain emotionlessly still, just like a lifeless doll.
“I love you.” Yamapi murmured.
Kame’s arms suddenly went limb, his eyes closed, as a tear fell to his cheek gently. He felt that his very own good friend was ripping him off of his humanity, and trust. Of all people, it just had to be Yamapi.
If you love me, you wouldn’t be doing this to me. If you love me, you’d let me go …
“Pi, please … don’t do this …” Kame begged one last time. Hearing no response from him, he decided to give another try. Garnering all the strength he had, he exerts a great force within him and pushed Yamapi with all his might, such that his friend fell from the sofa and hard onto the cold floor.
Yamapi however, in that position, was looking - no, glaring at a certain direction in this awkward moment. There was an eerie amount of silence at the moment, and a radiant light peeked in from the main door.
Hugging himself tightly, Kame followed Yamapi’s gaze, and his eyes widened in surprise when he met with Jin’s emotionless expression.
“Jin …”
Without any hesitation, Kame got out of his seat and rushed towards his lover.
----- ` -----
“Jin, it’s not what you make it out to be …” Kame’s steps soon came to a stop in front of his boyfriend. “It’s really not …”
How much his Jin had seen, he didn’t really know.
“How long has this been going on behind my back?” Jin interrupted with a firm tone, looking up at Kame with emotionless eyes, his fists clenched tightly to his side.
Kame could only stare at him in shock, rendered speechless by the accusation.
“I asked you a simple question, didn’t I?” Jin stressed again when he was only met with silence; Reo could only look by helplessly this scene unfolded itself before him.
“…. Nothing happened, Jin.” Kame whispered painfully. He suddenly felt small and abandoned. It almost seemed that his lover didn’t trust him at all … asking him that kind of question.
“Kazuya, you know that I hate liars the most of all people, right?” Jin whispered.
“Hey look, I’m the victim here, okay?!!” Kame suddenly burst out, anger, disbelief and sadness prevalent in his tone.He realized that Jin indeed had little trust on him, and somehow he felt a little disappointed.
Turning to his other friend for help, he desperately whispered out, “Pi, please! Tell Jin the real truth!”
Yamapi, however, bit his lip and looked away, ignoring Kame’s pleas. He didn’t want to have to look at those eyes, and give in to his request. He didn’t want to, not now … not yet.
“So this one week had been a lie then, Kazuya?” Jin started to unleash those harsh words on Kame, not noticing the tears in the latter’s eyes.
“I guess you’ve gotten bored with a disabled man like me that you’d go around cheating with my best friend, of all people! You’re such a slut, Kazuya! We’re through! I don’t want to see you ever again! Get out of my sight!” Jin had exploded and declared the ultimatum; he was too immersed in anger that it rendered him no ability to think right at this moment.
With that sentence, Kame felt his soul draining away; he couldn’t feel anything. He was left with almost nothing.
Nothing but pain …
With a calm and empty feeling in him, Kame cleared his throat painfully as he thought about the irony of Jin’s last sentence towards him. With a sad expression, he bit his lip as he whispered in pain, “Maybe you’d get that wish one day, Jin.” He looked up, and forced one smile.
“If you want me to be gone, then you will.” Kame whispered, suddenly giving up on his life. He had no reason to continue living his life anymore; he had Jin out of his life.
Yet once again …
Truth be told, he didn’t care anymore. He would leave it all to Fate.
I’m too tired. I just want to close my eyes and sleep …
----- ` -----
“Let’s go home, Reo.” Jin said once he heard the door to the master bedroom close shut. Yamapi had disappeared into the guest room as well. Jin placed his hands on the handle of his wheelchair as he turned towards the entrance door; his movement came to a halt when suddenly his younger brother stood in front of him, with a disappointed expression on his face.
“Then what, onii-chan?” Reo crossed his arms, leaning his body against the door, looking pissed. “It’s all over now, due to the scene you just saw? For all you know, Kazuya-kun might be telling the truth. Why don’t you try to analyze the entire situation? Don’t you have any trust for Kazuya-kun, after all that shit that he went through for you?”
“But Pi ...”
Reo rolled his eyes; his elder brother was really dense sometimes. “Yamapi didn’t mouth a word about that scene, onii-chan. That is not the usual him. He is keeping his silence on what actually happened, so you rather believe that than Kazuya-kun’s pleas to believe him?”
“Pi wouldn’t betray me. And that’s that.” Jin firmly said, looking at Reo with such confidence.
“Fine, believe what you want, onii-chan. Just don’t regret your decision in the end.” Reo’s tone was filled with hurt. He couldn’t believe that his brother behaved that way earlier on; he was being a complete jerk. And he knew that his brother would definitely regret his actions in time to come.
“We can’t just go back to our home. You don’t want to raise our parent’s suspicion, don’t you?”
“No way am I sleeping in that master bedroom.” Jin simply emphasized, sticking to his stubborn attitude.
Reo heaved out a desperation sigh, and shook his head. “Whatever.”
----- ` -----
For the countless time in the night, Kame glanced at the closed door of the master bedroom, hoping that Jin would somehow enter this room, comfort him, and make him forget about his health condition. All his hopes went down the drain when the guest room on the left side of the corridor slammed shut, knowing very well that Jin was in that room with his younger brother.
Are we really over, Jin? Is it so easy to break our relationship apart? To think I would love to spend the remaining pieces of my life with you …
It’s just a wishful thinking on my part.
Sniffing, Kame sadly picked up his pen, and stared onto the piece of writing pad before him.
Is this really goodbye?
Furiously wiping the tears away with the back of his palm, Kame started writing his letter to his beloved, Akanishi Jin. How ironic this seemed to be, as he recalled that he had once written a suicide letter to Nakamaru. But now … this seemed like a last letter he would be able to write, due to his worsening health condition.
Fate was slowly taking him away from this beautiful world.
In the middle of writing the letter, he lost his control of his pen, staining the white piece of paper with a long crooked line of blue ink, as Kame clutched his head painfully with that particular hand, tears blurring his vision.
I don’t want to say goodbye, Jin. I don’t want to!
Getting up from the seat, Kame walked towards the bed with small weak steps, leaning against the head board once he reached the bed. From this position, he glanced at his reflection in the dressing mirror sadly. His face was pale, and was slowly losing its color, he had just noticed.
We’re through! I don’t want to see you ever again!
Letting out a small laugh, he bit his lips hard, the tears once again threatening to pour from his once beautiful eyes. Now they are dead, empty, and expressionless as they stared back at him through the mirror. And it’s all because of his pitiful situation.
How could you have such low trust in me, Jin? I thought you knew how much I love you.
Closing his eyes, Kame remained in that position for awhile, simply reflecting the memories he had created together with Jin, in this country side. He was happy when it lasted, he really was.
Sayonara, my love.
----- ` -----
“I know what I’m doing.” Yamapi simply answered when Reo had come into the guest room to interrogate him. He was nothing but a coward, looking down on the floor all the time.He didn’t want to see the disappointment in the younger man’s face.
“Onii-chan trusts you more than anyone else in this house, and you’re taking it to your advantage?” Reo whispered his tone breaking. He didn’t like how things were progressing with their relationship; everything was just going down the drain.
Yamapi bit his lip, still refusing to look at Reo in the eye, for fear of showing his weakness to him.
“Yamapi, what did you come to Kyoto for? Putting your newly-found feelings aside, what really are you here for? What is your real purpose of being here? What is the initial plan you have for them?” Reo emphasized painfully. “Don’t you remember?”
Images soon came to him, that one image of witnessing Kame nearly committing suicide scared him so much then. He remembered the pale, looking friend who had lost his reason to live due to the one last moment he had with his beloved. Yamapi remembered the pain Kame had flashed, he remembered.
Don’t worry. I will take good care of him. I will do whatever I can to bring those two back together. They’re both so important to me. It saddens me to see them suffering, therefore leave everything to me.
He had promised Nakamaru to reunite them both.And just when he had completed the task, he had torn the two apart with his very own behavior. Of all people, it was him that had hurt his friends’ feelings the most.
All because of his selfish lust for love for Kame.
“Things don’t always go as we initially planned, Reo.” Yamapi finally said painfully, glancing towards the younger man. “For me, I followed my heart, and it changed me. What was I thinking? It’s impossible to get my love returned now that I think of it.” He let out a fake laugh.
There was sudden silence in this room before Reo broke it.
“No one is being left out, Yamapi-kun.” He looked at him meaningfully. “Kazuya-kun isn’t meant to be yours, because there is already someone for you in the first place. You just don’t know it yet. You’ll know it when time is ripe.” Reo flashed him an assuring smile, hoping that Yamapi would understand what he was trying to explain.
“Is that so?” Seeing the nod from the latter, Yamapi let out one small genuine smile. “Then I hope god hints to me who the person is real quick!”
“Why?” Reo raised his eyebrow in confusion.
“ … Because I want to hold him, and love him dearly.” He whispered, entering his dream world. “Most importantly, I want to love, and feel loved.”
Reo was awed at this image of Yamapi. He had never seen this side of him before, being so open with his feelings. Walking closer, Reo handed him a handkerchief.
“I don’t want just a hankie, damn it!” Yamapi threw the cloth away, pulling Reo down onto the edge of the bed as he hugged the surprised younger man tightly, totally not noticing the shocked expression of the latter.
Reo blinked at the close proximity, but he did not push him away.Instead he placed his arms onto his shoulder, patting him comfortably. For the first time, Yamapi looked so small and vulnerable.
Cry in my arms, and just let it all out.
----- ` -----
“If you wanted me to be gone, then you will.”
That particular sentence kept bugging Jin’s mind throughout the night, as he continuously shifted his position on the bed.Just thinking about the double meaning to that sentence kept his mind preoccupied the entire night.
“What did Kazuya really meant?” Jin had whispered; somehow he regretted his overly harsh words earlier on.He realized that he had reacted irrationally, without really thinking of anything, and it was only when he was alone in this room that he could really think things through carefully.
Now, and foremost, who does he trust the most? His one and only best friend, or his one true love …
Heaving out a yawn, Jin shook the thought away.He would decide tomorrowmorning. He would confront Yamapi about the real truth that Kame had pleaded him to believe. And then he would have the answer.
What Jin didn’t expect was that the man he loved with his heart and soul would be gone the next morning.
Kame has packed his bag that very night, and he was planning to catch the next train heading towards the city. He couldn’t take it anymore; it was just too much for him to handle, especially with his health condition now. Their love pricked him like a thorn in the heart, and it really hurt to be staying under the same roof with someone who didn’t appreciate him anymore.
It really hurts for the younger man.
----- ` -----
Goodbye, Jin.
He placed a chaste kiss on the older man’s lips. Jin was sound asleep like a log and did not realize his presence at all. Gripping the handle of his bag tightly, Kame took one last glance at his beloved, before walking out of the bedroom, possibly forever from his life as well.
Maybe this is really the last, Jin. Maybe …
----- ` -----
Author's Note: Chapter 18 is long, and depressing, that I know. Though Yamapi was technically at fault for having Akame to break apart, don't blame him ne? He's just a man in love, who actually followed his heart in showing his feelings to Kame. Every one plays a part in this unexpected situation, truth to be told. So the questions after this .. Will Akame love be revived? Will it all be too late then? You'll know in the upcoming chapters. Last thing, I need help from you readers. Second love may not be the best as the first, but still I'm looking for someone for Yamapi. I'm considering TomaPi and ReoPi. (yeah, you read it right. Akanishi Reo.) So please choose one!!! Majority wins ...
Pairing: Akame
Genre: It's angst, angst and more angst! *runs*
Rating: PG 13
Summary: They told him he had an accident, and had been in coma for two weeks. But he couldn't remember the fateful event at all, he didn't know what and how it happened. Kame just couldn't recall the accident but the thing that hurt him the most was Jin had disappeared during the times he needed him the most.
Disclaimer: Akame characters don't belong to me in any way.
Special note: Once again, thank you to my dearest beta! <333
Chapter 18 - One Misunderstanding leads to two hearts Broken
----- ` -----
Kame woke up to a brand new day with a smile on his face. Turning to look at his lover’s contented expression in his sleep, his heart overwhelmed with happiness. But even so, that happiness didn’t stay for long.Kame shifted gently to lean against the head board as he dazed off and stared into the thin air, feeling the sadness once again.
He sighed.
He wanted so much to forget about his true condition. And he reminded himself that he would; at least for every moment he could, he would pretend that nothing had happened.
It’s no use to be sad over it.
As he glanced at the sleeping form next to him once again, his troubles got washed away in his mind the moment he saw the sweet smile on his lover’s face. It was pretty obvious that Jin was dreaming of him, smiling like that.
Just then, Jin stirred in his sleep.
“Kazuya …” Jin murmured and pouted when he felt that Kame was not in his arms. Even in his sleep, Jin managed to act that way, Kame chuckled. Lying back onto the bed, he snuggled close to Jin and laid his head on Jin’s chest, hearing the strong but steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Kame smiled brightly as he placed an arm over Jin’s strong torso, before closing his eyes to enjoy this beautiful moment.
“I love you, Jin.”
----- ` -----
Yamapi walked down the stairs, only to hear clanging and clattering sounds of pans coming from the kitchen. Raising his eyebrows, he walked towards the source of the sound. Upon reaching the kitchen door, his eyes widened in surprise at the image in front of him, he stood frozen.
“Ahhh! Good morning, Yamapi!” Kame greeted him with an exceptionally cheerful smile on his face as he pointed to the plate of piping hot pancakes next to the microwave, “Do you want some pancakes that I’ve made?”
Yamapi blinked as he glanced up to the clock. It’s only 8 in the morning, is there something troubling Kame.., he thought. He wanted to ask why the younger man was up so early in the morning, but decided against so, just in case the question hurt the young man unintentionally.
“Let me take a bath first. I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
Nodding his head enthusiastically, Kame returned to his job of preparing other food for breakfast. He seemed too indulged in breakfast-making, Yamapi noted. Scratching his head, he walked out of the kitchen sleepily.
Or maybe, I should go sleep in for a little while more.
----- ` -----
“Pancakes!” Jin shouted excitedly the moment he was wheeled to the dining table by his younger brother. Clapping his hands, he smiled at Kame warmly, knowing it was him who had prepared breakfast, as always.
“My, I didn’t know you liked pancakes that much, onii-chan.” Reo remarked in surprise as he sat down beside Jin. He knew that his brother didn’t mind eating pancakes, but it was definitely not his favorite food, therefore it was amusing to see Jin reacting that way. “That’s very strange, coming from you.”
Love could really make everything so sweet in life.
“It’s different when Kazuya made them. It tastes different somehow.” Jin took a bite of the pancake. He squealed in delight as he tasted it, his eyes closing with much satisfaction. “It’s so delicious!!!”
Jin turned to face Kame, feeding a piece of cut pancake to him. With a smile, Kame lovingly accepted it, totally enjoyed being pampered by his lover. “It’s really delicious, right?” Jin asked happily. Kame nodded.
“I wonder why yours taste better than others …” Jin wondered as he fiddled with his fork.
“… Because Kazuya-kun made it with love. DUH.” Reo interrupted.
Feeling overly happy at the perfect answer given by his younger brother, Jin put down his fork on the plate, inching closer to Kame with a loving look, and planted a kiss on his lips.
“Thank you, baby.”
Placing his fingers on his lips, Kame nodded his head and flashed out a large smile. Small things like this made him happy.
It was enough to remember by.
----- ` -----
“It’s no use.” Kamenashi Yoijiro shook his head disappointedly. “Kazuya shut his mobile phone. There’s still no response today.”
Mrs Kamenashi slumped to the sofa dejectedly, feeling worried than ever at this moment of time. As a mother, she was totallyhelpless. “Kazuya …”
They would just have to wait till Kame returns to Tokyo.
----- ` -----
“Let’s go sight-seeing! The four of us!” Kame suddenly suggested with a cheery aura, causing the other three to flash him an amused smile. Not receiving any response from them, he continued enthusiastically, “Outdoor activities would be good for us. Am I right, Jin?” He turned to face his lover, waiting for an answer.
Clasping his hand into his, Jin nodded with a smile. “It’s a great idea. Let’s think of some place to go.”
Kame’s face beamed with happiness when he received a positive response from Jin. By making himself cheerful, Kame managed to forget the fact about his latest health condition.
He wanted to pretend and forget about everything, putting on a façade.
Because it really hurt when he remembered that his life might be ending soon.
“Want to visit the shrine here?” Reo suggested when none of them was able to come up with a location in the past few minutes.
Three pairs of eyes stared at him in awe as they looked at one another meaningfully.
----- ` -----
Kame wrote something on the block of wood and passed it to Jin, handing him the marker as well, with a bright smile on his face. Nodding his head, Jin wrote a special note before giving it back to Kame to put it where it belonged.
Looking at the prayer block they had placed inside the shrine, both were proud at what they wrote. With a last glance, they left the place, hand-in-hand.
May Jin be able to walk again!
I want Kazuya to be happy always.
----- ` -----
Three days had passed since Jin’s discharge from the hospital. During this period of time, Kame felt happier than ever because he was able to spend time with his beloved. By now, he had totally gotten over the initial sadness when he knew about his health condition.
Things had been running smoothly too, as he has not been experiencing any headaches for the last two days. The flashbacks seemed to have taken a vacation from his mind. He was grateful for that.
Kame knew he would have to face reality sooner or later … But for now, he didn’t want to worryaboutthe future. He wanted to enjoy his time together with Jin until his two weeks break would be over.
That was what Kame had thought initially. Not knowing to him, things wouldn’t go as smoothly as he had planned. Instead, it was going down the tunnel of darkness, and he would get in the process.
Never would he ever imagine that the Jin whom he loves so much would look at him with much hatred, and anguish.
----- ` -----
“I don’t want you to go …” Kame murmured, his head resting against Jin’s chest, not wanting to be apart from him for even a few hours. As much as he wanted him to be with his family for lunch, he wanted him all for himself too.
“I’ll be right back, Kazuya.” Jin pulled him closer, playing with his hair lovingly. “We’ll be back in each other’s arms in no time. I promise.”
Kame finally nodded and relented, knowing that Jin would fulfill his every promise. He trusted Jin. With that, Kame gave the latter a quick kiss on the lips, “You know that I love you, right?” He suddenly asked.
Jin raised his eyebrows at the sudden question. He just murmured a soft ‘yes’ to convince and embraced Kame real tight when he noticed how insecure the youth was.
“Love you too, sweetheart.”
----- ` -----
Sighing at the sudden loneliness being all alone in this house, Kame found himself sitting on the comforting sofa in the living room, leaning against the warm fabric, closing his eyes as he pretended that it was his lover he is snuggling against.
Why it does always feel like heaven wants to separate us? Even right at this moment, I feel that I’m tearing apart from you, slowly drifting away to the beautiful blue ocean.
I have a feeling that something dreadful is coming our way.
What or why, I don’t really know …
Scanning his surroundings, Kame realized that he was indeed alone; even Yamapi was nowhere to be found.
Or so he thought.
His best friend was in the guest bedroom all along.
Kame slowly drifted off to the wonderland, not oblivious to the real world anymore as his eyelids closed shut.
----- ` -----
Kame squeaked in total surprise when he felt a hand on his shoulders, waking him instantly from his sleep. Hunching over, he realized that it was only his best friend behind him.
“I hope you don’t mind me doing this …” Before Kame was able to process anything further, he found his lips being pressed by the latter’s, causing his eyes to widen in fear.He tried to break free, but was held in place by the builder and bigger body.
“Mmmph … Pi …” Kame managed to murmur out as he continued to struggle to get out of Yamapi’s firm hold, but to no avail. His mind was still shock about what was happening right at this instant.
His best friend had just kissed him.
“Don’t you worry about Jin.” Yamapi whispered pulling the one he loved so much closer. “He won’t be back anytime soon. He told me he would be back after having dinner as well.” He broke free from the kiss as he looked at the younger man with love.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Pi?” Kame whispered fearfully, looking at him rather differently now. “Please get off me. I wouldn’t want Jin to…”
“It’s all about Jin! Can we not talk about him for just … an hour?” Yamapi raised his hands in frustration at the mention of that name. It belonged to none other than his best friend, but it hurt a flesh of his heart every time his love mentioned it.
It hurt so much …
“Pi, Jin’s your best friend!! How can you say that?” Kame reprimanded the older man, somehow not recognizing the man in front of him. The one who was standing in front of him was not the friend he knew. “Why are you doing this? This is not you. You’re not acting like yourself!"
He was completely different person.
“I said stop talking about him, okay! Even if it’s for ten minutes, it’s also fine!” He shouted on top of his lungs, glaring at Kame dangerously, shutting him up almost immediately. The younger man moved to the edge of the sofa quickly, wanting to be far away from him as possible.
“Ahhh, to hell with that plan. I don’t care anymore.” He murmured silently. Heaving out one deep breath, Yamapi finally decided.
Everyone deserved a chance in love, and he would do what it takes for him to get Kamenashi Kazuya. It didn’t matter even if it was merely a one sided love, as long as he had him by his side.
I’ve got you for now. Yamapi smiled.
Love should be a beautiful thing, but his love for Kame had changed him as a person. He eventually followed his heart, and not his mind, even with the awareness that he might lose two of his best friends at the end of day.
I don’t care.
Yamapi had actually taken the risk to get hurt by pretending to be someone else, just to get the attention of the one he loves.
He didn’t know that the one hurting the most from his action was none other than Kame, the very one person whom he had fallen in love with. For Jin trusts him more than anyone else, even more than Kame.
In this situation, Kame was the real victim, and not Yamapi himself.
----- ` -----
Using his stronger strength to his advantage, Yamapi now lied on top of his friend, holding him firmly, not allowing him to move an inch from him as a smirk once again formed on his expression.
“Pi, snap out of it, okay? Get off me!” Kame demanded, continuously pushing the built man with his weaker arms, but of course, with no success. His friend was just too strong for him.
“I’m not going to let you go now.” Yamapi simply whispered, kissing Kame forcefully on the lips, not caring that the latter didn’t respond to his kisses.
Kame chose to remain emotionlessly still, just like a lifeless doll.
“I love you.” Yamapi murmured.
Kame’s arms suddenly went limb, his eyes closed, as a tear fell to his cheek gently. He felt that his very own good friend was ripping him off of his humanity, and trust. Of all people, it just had to be Yamapi.
If you love me, you wouldn’t be doing this to me. If you love me, you’d let me go …
“Pi, please … don’t do this …” Kame begged one last time. Hearing no response from him, he decided to give another try. Garnering all the strength he had, he exerts a great force within him and pushed Yamapi with all his might, such that his friend fell from the sofa and hard onto the cold floor.
Yamapi however, in that position, was looking - no, glaring at a certain direction in this awkward moment. There was an eerie amount of silence at the moment, and a radiant light peeked in from the main door.
Hugging himself tightly, Kame followed Yamapi’s gaze, and his eyes widened in surprise when he met with Jin’s emotionless expression.
“Jin …”
Without any hesitation, Kame got out of his seat and rushed towards his lover.
----- ` -----
“Jin, it’s not what you make it out to be …” Kame’s steps soon came to a stop in front of his boyfriend. “It’s really not …”
How much his Jin had seen, he didn’t really know.
“How long has this been going on behind my back?” Jin interrupted with a firm tone, looking up at Kame with emotionless eyes, his fists clenched tightly to his side.
Kame could only stare at him in shock, rendered speechless by the accusation.
“I asked you a simple question, didn’t I?” Jin stressed again when he was only met with silence; Reo could only look by helplessly this scene unfolded itself before him.
“…. Nothing happened, Jin.” Kame whispered painfully. He suddenly felt small and abandoned. It almost seemed that his lover didn’t trust him at all … asking him that kind of question.
“Kazuya, you know that I hate liars the most of all people, right?” Jin whispered.
“Hey look, I’m the victim here, okay?!!” Kame suddenly burst out, anger, disbelief and sadness prevalent in his tone.He realized that Jin indeed had little trust on him, and somehow he felt a little disappointed.
Turning to his other friend for help, he desperately whispered out, “Pi, please! Tell Jin the real truth!”
Yamapi, however, bit his lip and looked away, ignoring Kame’s pleas. He didn’t want to have to look at those eyes, and give in to his request. He didn’t want to, not now … not yet.
“So this one week had been a lie then, Kazuya?” Jin started to unleash those harsh words on Kame, not noticing the tears in the latter’s eyes.
“I guess you’ve gotten bored with a disabled man like me that you’d go around cheating with my best friend, of all people! You’re such a slut, Kazuya! We’re through! I don’t want to see you ever again! Get out of my sight!” Jin had exploded and declared the ultimatum; he was too immersed in anger that it rendered him no ability to think right at this moment.
With that sentence, Kame felt his soul draining away; he couldn’t feel anything. He was left with almost nothing.
Nothing but pain …
With a calm and empty feeling in him, Kame cleared his throat painfully as he thought about the irony of Jin’s last sentence towards him. With a sad expression, he bit his lip as he whispered in pain, “Maybe you’d get that wish one day, Jin.” He looked up, and forced one smile.
“If you want me to be gone, then you will.” Kame whispered, suddenly giving up on his life. He had no reason to continue living his life anymore; he had Jin out of his life.
Yet once again …
Truth be told, he didn’t care anymore. He would leave it all to Fate.
I’m too tired. I just want to close my eyes and sleep …
----- ` -----
“Let’s go home, Reo.” Jin said once he heard the door to the master bedroom close shut. Yamapi had disappeared into the guest room as well. Jin placed his hands on the handle of his wheelchair as he turned towards the entrance door; his movement came to a halt when suddenly his younger brother stood in front of him, with a disappointed expression on his face.
“Then what, onii-chan?” Reo crossed his arms, leaning his body against the door, looking pissed. “It’s all over now, due to the scene you just saw? For all you know, Kazuya-kun might be telling the truth. Why don’t you try to analyze the entire situation? Don’t you have any trust for Kazuya-kun, after all that shit that he went through for you?”
“But Pi ...”
Reo rolled his eyes; his elder brother was really dense sometimes. “Yamapi didn’t mouth a word about that scene, onii-chan. That is not the usual him. He is keeping his silence on what actually happened, so you rather believe that than Kazuya-kun’s pleas to believe him?”
“Pi wouldn’t betray me. And that’s that.” Jin firmly said, looking at Reo with such confidence.
“Fine, believe what you want, onii-chan. Just don’t regret your decision in the end.” Reo’s tone was filled with hurt. He couldn’t believe that his brother behaved that way earlier on; he was being a complete jerk. And he knew that his brother would definitely regret his actions in time to come.
“We can’t just go back to our home. You don’t want to raise our parent’s suspicion, don’t you?”
“No way am I sleeping in that master bedroom.” Jin simply emphasized, sticking to his stubborn attitude.
Reo heaved out a desperation sigh, and shook his head. “Whatever.”
----- ` -----
For the countless time in the night, Kame glanced at the closed door of the master bedroom, hoping that Jin would somehow enter this room, comfort him, and make him forget about his health condition. All his hopes went down the drain when the guest room on the left side of the corridor slammed shut, knowing very well that Jin was in that room with his younger brother.
Are we really over, Jin? Is it so easy to break our relationship apart? To think I would love to spend the remaining pieces of my life with you …
It’s just a wishful thinking on my part.
Sniffing, Kame sadly picked up his pen, and stared onto the piece of writing pad before him.
Is this really goodbye?
Furiously wiping the tears away with the back of his palm, Kame started writing his letter to his beloved, Akanishi Jin. How ironic this seemed to be, as he recalled that he had once written a suicide letter to Nakamaru. But now … this seemed like a last letter he would be able to write, due to his worsening health condition.
Fate was slowly taking him away from this beautiful world.
In the middle of writing the letter, he lost his control of his pen, staining the white piece of paper with a long crooked line of blue ink, as Kame clutched his head painfully with that particular hand, tears blurring his vision.
I don’t want to say goodbye, Jin. I don’t want to!
Getting up from the seat, Kame walked towards the bed with small weak steps, leaning against the head board once he reached the bed. From this position, he glanced at his reflection in the dressing mirror sadly. His face was pale, and was slowly losing its color, he had just noticed.
We’re through! I don’t want to see you ever again!
Letting out a small laugh, he bit his lips hard, the tears once again threatening to pour from his once beautiful eyes. Now they are dead, empty, and expressionless as they stared back at him through the mirror. And it’s all because of his pitiful situation.
How could you have such low trust in me, Jin? I thought you knew how much I love you.
Closing his eyes, Kame remained in that position for awhile, simply reflecting the memories he had created together with Jin, in this country side. He was happy when it lasted, he really was.
Sayonara, my love.
----- ` -----
“I know what I’m doing.” Yamapi simply answered when Reo had come into the guest room to interrogate him. He was nothing but a coward, looking down on the floor all the time.He didn’t want to see the disappointment in the younger man’s face.
“Onii-chan trusts you more than anyone else in this house, and you’re taking it to your advantage?” Reo whispered his tone breaking. He didn’t like how things were progressing with their relationship; everything was just going down the drain.
Yamapi bit his lip, still refusing to look at Reo in the eye, for fear of showing his weakness to him.
“Yamapi, what did you come to Kyoto for? Putting your newly-found feelings aside, what really are you here for? What is your real purpose of being here? What is the initial plan you have for them?” Reo emphasized painfully. “Don’t you remember?”
Images soon came to him, that one image of witnessing Kame nearly committing suicide scared him so much then. He remembered the pale, looking friend who had lost his reason to live due to the one last moment he had with his beloved. Yamapi remembered the pain Kame had flashed, he remembered.
Don’t worry. I will take good care of him. I will do whatever I can to bring those two back together. They’re both so important to me. It saddens me to see them suffering, therefore leave everything to me.
He had promised Nakamaru to reunite them both.And just when he had completed the task, he had torn the two apart with his very own behavior. Of all people, it was him that had hurt his friends’ feelings the most.
All because of his selfish lust for love for Kame.
“Things don’t always go as we initially planned, Reo.” Yamapi finally said painfully, glancing towards the younger man. “For me, I followed my heart, and it changed me. What was I thinking? It’s impossible to get my love returned now that I think of it.” He let out a fake laugh.
There was sudden silence in this room before Reo broke it.
“No one is being left out, Yamapi-kun.” He looked at him meaningfully. “Kazuya-kun isn’t meant to be yours, because there is already someone for you in the first place. You just don’t know it yet. You’ll know it when time is ripe.” Reo flashed him an assuring smile, hoping that Yamapi would understand what he was trying to explain.
“Is that so?” Seeing the nod from the latter, Yamapi let out one small genuine smile. “Then I hope god hints to me who the person is real quick!”
“Why?” Reo raised his eyebrow in confusion.
“ … Because I want to hold him, and love him dearly.” He whispered, entering his dream world. “Most importantly, I want to love, and feel loved.”
Reo was awed at this image of Yamapi. He had never seen this side of him before, being so open with his feelings. Walking closer, Reo handed him a handkerchief.
“I don’t want just a hankie, damn it!” Yamapi threw the cloth away, pulling Reo down onto the edge of the bed as he hugged the surprised younger man tightly, totally not noticing the shocked expression of the latter.
Reo blinked at the close proximity, but he did not push him away.Instead he placed his arms onto his shoulder, patting him comfortably. For the first time, Yamapi looked so small and vulnerable.
Cry in my arms, and just let it all out.
----- ` -----
“If you wanted me to be gone, then you will.”
That particular sentence kept bugging Jin’s mind throughout the night, as he continuously shifted his position on the bed.Just thinking about the double meaning to that sentence kept his mind preoccupied the entire night.
“What did Kazuya really meant?” Jin had whispered; somehow he regretted his overly harsh words earlier on.He realized that he had reacted irrationally, without really thinking of anything, and it was only when he was alone in this room that he could really think things through carefully.
Now, and foremost, who does he trust the most? His one and only best friend, or his one true love …
Heaving out a yawn, Jin shook the thought away.He would decide tomorrowmorning. He would confront Yamapi about the real truth that Kame had pleaded him to believe. And then he would have the answer.
What Jin didn’t expect was that the man he loved with his heart and soul would be gone the next morning.
Kame has packed his bag that very night, and he was planning to catch the next train heading towards the city. He couldn’t take it anymore; it was just too much for him to handle, especially with his health condition now. Their love pricked him like a thorn in the heart, and it really hurt to be staying under the same roof with someone who didn’t appreciate him anymore.
It really hurts for the younger man.
----- ` -----
Goodbye, Jin.
He placed a chaste kiss on the older man’s lips. Jin was sound asleep like a log and did not realize his presence at all. Gripping the handle of his bag tightly, Kame took one last glance at his beloved, before walking out of the bedroom, possibly forever from his life as well.
Maybe this is really the last, Jin. Maybe …
----- ` -----
Author's Note: Chapter 18 is long, and depressing, that I know. Though Yamapi was technically at fault for having Akame to break apart, don't blame him ne? He's just a man in love, who actually followed his heart in showing his feelings to Kame. Every one plays a part in this unexpected situation, truth to be told. So the questions after this .. Will Akame love be revived? Will it all be too late then? You'll know in the upcoming chapters. Last thing, I need help from you readers. Second love may not be the best as the first, but still I'm looking for someone for Yamapi. I'm considering TomaPi and ReoPi. (yeah, you read it right. Akanishi Reo.) So please choose one!!! Majority wins ...