[b.a.p] rejection 101 + got that memo?
Who: Youngjae
What: 300w, G
Prompt: Youngjae. How to Handle Rejection 101.
*
There isn't much for Youngjae to say. The mortification is there-he tends to hedge his bets by default and not jump until he's certain, so he's actually… honestly surprised when Daehyun tells him no.
But there isn't much for it. No is no and Youngjae won't push. He won't ask again. Daehyun makes easily enough like nothing happened and Youngjae is able to follow his lead. Do the same. Just like always.
It takes a while-he's sullen and sour for days to the point where even Jongup avoids him and Yongguk takes him aside one night to quietly ask if anything's happened. (But nothing has happened, that's the thing. But that's okay.)
Youngjae soon gets into the swing of the act.
It's just like performing after all, and he's good at that. Pretending he isn't dead on his feet and sore and exhausted, letting himself get swept up in the moment (even if his voice might waver a little. It's just fatigue).
They're busy, still and always, so there's not much time to dwell on the fact Daehyun pursing his lips and looking over really doesn't mean anything except that maybe that he's hungry and thinking of food. Youngjae purses his lips right back and makes obnoxious duck noises and then Himchan's telling them they both look like morons and their youngest is shaking his head. Just like normal.
("Just kiss already, hyung," Junhong tells him in this sort of accusing way that makes Youngjae's stomach turn. But there's nothing for it.
"It's not that easy," he says. Initiating isn't. Rejection isn't.
Junhong will understand one day. Maybe.
…Youngjae hopes not, though. He'd heard the rumours but there really is nothing quite like being turned down by someone you care about so much.)
*
Who: Daehyun, Youngjae
What: 1850w, PG
Prompt: Rejections come with no-take-backs, but Daehyun apparently missed the memo.
*
So in 20/20 hindsight Daehyun figures he really shouldn't have told Youngjae, "Oh god, you're joking right?" complete with incredulous laughter, even if it had been a reflex response. He hates the tongue in his mouth sometimes. (Mostly when it fucks everything up at an approximate rate of 7.24 shit pellets per second.)
Youngjae had not, it turned out, been joking and Daehyun's handling of the situation had fast made everything between them awkward as hell.
Except, like, what the actual hell?
In his own defence, Daehyun hadn't actually ever thought of Youngjae as any more than a best friend and really (really) hot gym buddy before. The thought just… plain never occurred to him.
So maybe they flirt a bit on stage or during events. It's just what the fans want to see, right? And even if Daehyun spends a lot of his free time scanning the 'YoungDae' tag and sending along the funnier shit, it's just payback and commonsense because Youngjae had definitely started sending Daehyun stupid gifs of his own face first. What's a guy to do without his own macro arsenal? And so Daehyun does. This, that and whatever.
Except then out of the complete blue, alone in the dorms for two hours watching a movie (Iron Man again because Youngjae likes Pepper Pots and Daehyun sometimes really just wants to be a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist), Youngjae leans his head on Daehyun's shoulder and says kinda softly, "Hey, Dae… I like you… a lot."
Daehyun freezes.
Youngjae looks up (just a little bit shyly? Oh god) with his big brown eyes and the lightest shade of pink across his dumb squishy cheeks and Daehyun really can't help himself-
Cue Horrifying Mouth Moment #64pbz: "Oh god, you're joking right?" Laugh. Stare. L-laugh?
Except then Youngjae's face shuts down and his eyes fall and this disgusting, churning ball of metal mush starts up inside Daehyun's stomach like mutant cheese.
"Oh god…" he says faintly, "I don't-"
Youngjae stands and self-consciously tugs at his shirt as he looks away-"Yeah… sorry, nevermind."-and then he's gone and doesn't meet Daehyun's eye for nearly a whole week after.
And Daehyun, for maybe the first time since moving to Seoul, feels completely and utterly displaced like he's stepped out of a time machine (except he can still sing better now than he could back then, thank god).
Joint vocal training that evening is a clear exercise in bad and awkward-awful as actual dry fuckery-and the whole following week. Youngjae barely says a word to Daehyun directly, which takes some skill and balls given the way their manager hyungs always schedule their activity blocks in pairs. Dermatologist consultations. Hair appointments. Life itself…
For a while it's as if they're back to how it was those first months, Daehyun unsure if they're actually getting along or are just coolly civil secret enemies.
It's weird.
It's really fucking weird.
Even with Youngjae right in front of him during dance practice and everything else, Daehyun finds himself crazy missing his best friend(? More? Is more even possible anymore? Less sounds like shit though). He misses Youngjae like rice itself-like that wonderful staple and essential base for all good dishes not involving noodles, because Youngjae is definitely not noodles: he is fluffy and quietly aromatic and warm-bordering-on-hot like perfectly done rice straight out of the cooker.
The more Daehyun realises he misses Youngjae and thinks about missing him (and also maybe thinks about kissing him because oh my god, isn't that what you do with people who like you and maybe you like back? And Youngjae's cute little round lips are so nice when they're not scabbed up) the more he kind of… thinks… maybe he should do something before the illusion breaks and they really start to not even talk anymore.
Maybe. (Like, probably.)
And so he corners Youngjae in the bathroom during a ten-minute dance practice break.
(-Jongup and Junhong are still dancing because they're tireless; Yongguk and Himchan are slumped on the hard wood floor because they are not. Youngjae has gone to the bathroom despite them all sweating up like three litres of salt water because he drinks more fluids than any of them in order to keep his skin and lips beautiful. Daehyun knows things like this.)
No one is going to interrupt them and Youngjae isn't going to be able to escape this time.
Daehyun clears his throat. "Um, hey… Jae. So. I've kinda changed my mind," he says super smoothly (not), leaning back against the toilet door and trying to act all casual. It's extra hard when Youngjae looks up and meets his eye point blank, none too impressed.
"Yeah? About what."
"About um…" Daehyun licks his lips. Dry. Maybe he should drink more water too. "Y'know how you said you liked me a few weeks ago-"
"Nine weeks," Youngjae says curtly.
"Yeah like, nine weeks, two days," Daehyun says and allows himself the tiniest victory flutter at seeing Youngjae's eyes widen in surprise.
But it's short-lived: "Yeah, that time you laughed in my face?"
Daehyun tries not to wince too hard. He has to stay as high as he can on the Attractive→Potato scale if he's going to have a chance in this conversation. Because Youngjae is hot even without makeup on, and-"Yeah… about that. I'm sorry."
"You should be," Youngjae says casually-too casually. "Wasn't very nice."
"I know," Daehyun admits and heaves a heartfelt sigh because it's true. He'd been a dick. (He's a dick a lot and it's mostly his mouth's fault but unfortunately they're pretty well connected and there's nothing for the situation.) He shifts his feet a little. Awkward. "Look, I'm sorry. And-well, I was kinda hoping you'd… um. If you wouldn't mind if maybe… How about I redact that answer?"
Nothing moves for a while, the bathroom air in suspended animation between them until Youngjae laughs-mirthless and harsh. His hands clench by his sides and his eyes turn all bright with anger. "You can't do that, Jung Daehyun. Who the hell do you think you are? You can't just refund a rejection and bury the fact you turned someone down!"
"But I've been thinking about it a lot," Daehyun says, floundering in his excuses and churning mutant cheese. It's weird. It's hard. For all that they squabble a lot, he isn't really used to Youngjae being actually really angry at him-not with this sort of desperate ire where he doesn't even want to talk, where he's just gearing up to yell Daehyun's guilt into the stratosphere.
He's doing that now. "Yeah, real nice, Dae. You might have been thinking about it, but I've been trying to forget making a giant ass of myself and fucking everything up, you know? I was thinking about it for a year before I ever even said anything to you! Who the actual hell do you think you are?"
"I'm sorry okay?" Daehyun snaps right back, voice louder than intends; heart hammering; hands clammy because what if this doesn't work out? He'd never considered that his re-proposal might not have a happy ending. (Maybe that's just his problem, huh. Maybe he just really needs to think more.) "I said I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- I mean, I honestly just- I won't do it again? I'm sorry, Jae-"
Youngjae's voice falls dangerously low, his fists shaking from everything or maybe just wanting to punch Daehyun's lights out so badly he can barely keep it under wraps. (Daehyun doesn't think he'd blame Youngjae for a broken nose by this point.) "Don't make promises you can't keep, Daehyun," Youngjae says, and Daehyun feels a shiver curl his spine at the tone of that threat. "Don't do that to me."
"…I can keep this one," Daehyun says, forcing his voice level. Even. (Not pleading, not begging.) "I mean, if we haven't killed each other yet, there's totally nothing we won't be able to handle in the future, right? C'mon, Jae… please…" (Shit, so much for not begging. He's desperate though.) "What if-what if I ask you out instead?"
"What if?" Youngjae repeats, disbelieving.
"Yeah, like I mean-" Daehyun says, eyes widening as his mouth takes automatic control again (no, no no!) "Even if I accidentally turned you down last time, like, you haven't turned me down yet, right? So if I ask you to date me you can say yes and that'll all be cool, right?"
"What the hell makes you think that'd be cool, you fucking moron?" Youngjae rages. "Why the hell would I even want to say yes to you anymore-?!"
(There's a point Youngjae gets to, sometimes, where he works his stress levels up so high he just starts laughing. Daehyun thinks it's funny these days, but there used to be a time when it had freaked him the fuck out-mostly because back then it had invariably happened when Youngjae was two seconds from punching Daehyun in the face-a raised fist and then… hysterical laughter.)
(Actually, not so much has changed.)
Daehyun can't help feeling a little hopeful even as he reaches out and carefully, finally, awkwardly gives Youngjae a half-bro-patting hug (half an actual kinda, it's okay and I'm sorry kinda hug) and Youngjae shakes in his arms until the hysteria fades a little.
Daehyun's guilt feels a little bit fixed but it's still mostly there. (Progress though!) "I said I was sorry… What else can I do?"
Youngjae shoves weakly at Daehyun's chest and laugh-sighs a little, shaking his head as he turns back to the toilet wall. "Get out of here and let me pee in peace. I swear to god, Jung Daehyun, you are the fucking worst."
"Hey, but is that a yes?" Daehyun persists, unwilling to leave before getting a proper answer. (Progress! So close?) He fidgets and consciously drops the hand that's hovering stalkerishly over Youngjae's shoulder. "Youngjae~ Yoo Youngjae, will you go out with me? I really need to know~"
Youngjae spares a highly unimpressed glare back. (Yup, good idea to have dropped that hand.) "Daehyun. Can you just-. How about asking me sometime I don't have my dick out in front of a urinal, okay? I'm really losing my patience here!"
"Okay, okay, fine," Daehyun says, trying not to grin ear to ear like the doped up Seventh Dwarf because everything is ace and it's all gonna be okay. (Trying. Failing.) "It's not like your dick's anything I haven't seen before though, you know? I'm like, your mother. I saw you butt naked in the dorms from day one."
"That was an accident and you are nothing like my mother, you asswipe," Youngjae says, though his shoulders are shaking again and Daehyun knows he's trying not to laugh some more. "I mean, thank god. She's way more sensible than you'll ever be."
"I mean, thank god," Daehyun parrots, "because parent kink really ain't my thing."
"Get the fuck out!" Youngjae shouts and kicks off a shoe to throw at Daehyun's head in one smooth and practised motion.
Daehyun ducks just in time to laugh as it thuds against the bathroom door and scoops the shoe up, dodging outside before Youngjae can throw anything else (like his other shoe) and not miss. Youngjae is the best. "Hey, come find your Prince when you want your shoe back, Cinderjae!" Daehyun calls through the thin wood, laughing some more at Youngjae's incoherently indignant reply. "Don't hate me~ I love you."
"You are the worst, Jung Daehyun!" Youngjae shouts. "The absolute fucking worst-!"
It's true.
But Daehyun can't help the daft, shit-eating grin on his face heading back down to the practice room because just like that everything's back to normal-for the first time in months life is great.
And it's going to be awesome.
What: 300w, G
Prompt: Youngjae. How to Handle Rejection 101.
*
There isn't much for Youngjae to say. The mortification is there-he tends to hedge his bets by default and not jump until he's certain, so he's actually… honestly surprised when Daehyun tells him no.
But there isn't much for it. No is no and Youngjae won't push. He won't ask again. Daehyun makes easily enough like nothing happened and Youngjae is able to follow his lead. Do the same. Just like always.
It takes a while-he's sullen and sour for days to the point where even Jongup avoids him and Yongguk takes him aside one night to quietly ask if anything's happened. (But nothing has happened, that's the thing. But that's okay.)
Youngjae soon gets into the swing of the act.
It's just like performing after all, and he's good at that. Pretending he isn't dead on his feet and sore and exhausted, letting himself get swept up in the moment (even if his voice might waver a little. It's just fatigue).
They're busy, still and always, so there's not much time to dwell on the fact Daehyun pursing his lips and looking over really doesn't mean anything except that maybe that he's hungry and thinking of food. Youngjae purses his lips right back and makes obnoxious duck noises and then Himchan's telling them they both look like morons and their youngest is shaking his head. Just like normal.
("Just kiss already, hyung," Junhong tells him in this sort of accusing way that makes Youngjae's stomach turn. But there's nothing for it.
"It's not that easy," he says. Initiating isn't. Rejection isn't.
Junhong will understand one day. Maybe.
…Youngjae hopes not, though. He'd heard the rumours but there really is nothing quite like being turned down by someone you care about so much.)
*
Who: Daehyun, Youngjae
What: 1850w, PG
Prompt: Rejections come with no-take-backs, but Daehyun apparently missed the memo.
*
So in 20/20 hindsight Daehyun figures he really shouldn't have told Youngjae, "Oh god, you're joking right?" complete with incredulous laughter, even if it had been a reflex response. He hates the tongue in his mouth sometimes. (Mostly when it fucks everything up at an approximate rate of 7.24 shit pellets per second.)
Youngjae had not, it turned out, been joking and Daehyun's handling of the situation had fast made everything between them awkward as hell.
Except, like, what the actual hell?
In his own defence, Daehyun hadn't actually ever thought of Youngjae as any more than a best friend and really (really) hot gym buddy before. The thought just… plain never occurred to him.
So maybe they flirt a bit on stage or during events. It's just what the fans want to see, right? And even if Daehyun spends a lot of his free time scanning the 'YoungDae' tag and sending along the funnier shit, it's just payback and commonsense because Youngjae had definitely started sending Daehyun stupid gifs of his own face first. What's a guy to do without his own macro arsenal? And so Daehyun does. This, that and whatever.
Except then out of the complete blue, alone in the dorms for two hours watching a movie (Iron Man again because Youngjae likes Pepper Pots and Daehyun sometimes really just wants to be a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist), Youngjae leans his head on Daehyun's shoulder and says kinda softly, "Hey, Dae… I like you… a lot."
Daehyun freezes.
Youngjae looks up (just a little bit shyly? Oh god) with his big brown eyes and the lightest shade of pink across his dumb squishy cheeks and Daehyun really can't help himself-
Cue Horrifying Mouth Moment #64pbz: "Oh god, you're joking right?" Laugh. Stare. L-laugh?
Except then Youngjae's face shuts down and his eyes fall and this disgusting, churning ball of metal mush starts up inside Daehyun's stomach like mutant cheese.
"Oh god…" he says faintly, "I don't-"
Youngjae stands and self-consciously tugs at his shirt as he looks away-"Yeah… sorry, nevermind."-and then he's gone and doesn't meet Daehyun's eye for nearly a whole week after.
And Daehyun, for maybe the first time since moving to Seoul, feels completely and utterly displaced like he's stepped out of a time machine (except he can still sing better now than he could back then, thank god).
Joint vocal training that evening is a clear exercise in bad and awkward-awful as actual dry fuckery-and the whole following week. Youngjae barely says a word to Daehyun directly, which takes some skill and balls given the way their manager hyungs always schedule their activity blocks in pairs. Dermatologist consultations. Hair appointments. Life itself…
For a while it's as if they're back to how it was those first months, Daehyun unsure if they're actually getting along or are just coolly civil secret enemies.
It's weird.
It's really fucking weird.
Even with Youngjae right in front of him during dance practice and everything else, Daehyun finds himself crazy missing his best friend(? More? Is more even possible anymore? Less sounds like shit though). He misses Youngjae like rice itself-like that wonderful staple and essential base for all good dishes not involving noodles, because Youngjae is definitely not noodles: he is fluffy and quietly aromatic and warm-bordering-on-hot like perfectly done rice straight out of the cooker.
The more Daehyun realises he misses Youngjae and thinks about missing him (and also maybe thinks about kissing him because oh my god, isn't that what you do with people who like you and maybe you like back? And Youngjae's cute little round lips are so nice when they're not scabbed up) the more he kind of… thinks… maybe he should do something before the illusion breaks and they really start to not even talk anymore.
Maybe. (Like, probably.)
And so he corners Youngjae in the bathroom during a ten-minute dance practice break.
(-Jongup and Junhong are still dancing because they're tireless; Yongguk and Himchan are slumped on the hard wood floor because they are not. Youngjae has gone to the bathroom despite them all sweating up like three litres of salt water because he drinks more fluids than any of them in order to keep his skin and lips beautiful. Daehyun knows things like this.)
No one is going to interrupt them and Youngjae isn't going to be able to escape this time.
Daehyun clears his throat. "Um, hey… Jae. So. I've kinda changed my mind," he says super smoothly (not), leaning back against the toilet door and trying to act all casual. It's extra hard when Youngjae looks up and meets his eye point blank, none too impressed.
"Yeah? About what."
"About um…" Daehyun licks his lips. Dry. Maybe he should drink more water too. "Y'know how you said you liked me a few weeks ago-"
"Nine weeks," Youngjae says curtly.
"Yeah like, nine weeks, two days," Daehyun says and allows himself the tiniest victory flutter at seeing Youngjae's eyes widen in surprise.
But it's short-lived: "Yeah, that time you laughed in my face?"
Daehyun tries not to wince too hard. He has to stay as high as he can on the Attractive→Potato scale if he's going to have a chance in this conversation. Because Youngjae is hot even without makeup on, and-"Yeah… about that. I'm sorry."
"You should be," Youngjae says casually-too casually. "Wasn't very nice."
"I know," Daehyun admits and heaves a heartfelt sigh because it's true. He'd been a dick. (He's a dick a lot and it's mostly his mouth's fault but unfortunately they're pretty well connected and there's nothing for the situation.) He shifts his feet a little. Awkward. "Look, I'm sorry. And-well, I was kinda hoping you'd… um. If you wouldn't mind if maybe… How about I redact that answer?"
Nothing moves for a while, the bathroom air in suspended animation between them until Youngjae laughs-mirthless and harsh. His hands clench by his sides and his eyes turn all bright with anger. "You can't do that, Jung Daehyun. Who the hell do you think you are? You can't just refund a rejection and bury the fact you turned someone down!"
"But I've been thinking about it a lot," Daehyun says, floundering in his excuses and churning mutant cheese. It's weird. It's hard. For all that they squabble a lot, he isn't really used to Youngjae being actually really angry at him-not with this sort of desperate ire where he doesn't even want to talk, where he's just gearing up to yell Daehyun's guilt into the stratosphere.
He's doing that now. "Yeah, real nice, Dae. You might have been thinking about it, but I've been trying to forget making a giant ass of myself and fucking everything up, you know? I was thinking about it for a year before I ever even said anything to you! Who the actual hell do you think you are?"
"I'm sorry okay?" Daehyun snaps right back, voice louder than intends; heart hammering; hands clammy because what if this doesn't work out? He'd never considered that his re-proposal might not have a happy ending. (Maybe that's just his problem, huh. Maybe he just really needs to think more.) "I said I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- I mean, I honestly just- I won't do it again? I'm sorry, Jae-"
Youngjae's voice falls dangerously low, his fists shaking from everything or maybe just wanting to punch Daehyun's lights out so badly he can barely keep it under wraps. (Daehyun doesn't think he'd blame Youngjae for a broken nose by this point.) "Don't make promises you can't keep, Daehyun," Youngjae says, and Daehyun feels a shiver curl his spine at the tone of that threat. "Don't do that to me."
"…I can keep this one," Daehyun says, forcing his voice level. Even. (Not pleading, not begging.) "I mean, if we haven't killed each other yet, there's totally nothing we won't be able to handle in the future, right? C'mon, Jae… please…" (Shit, so much for not begging. He's desperate though.) "What if-what if I ask you out instead?"
"What if?" Youngjae repeats, disbelieving.
"Yeah, like I mean-" Daehyun says, eyes widening as his mouth takes automatic control again (no, no no!) "Even if I accidentally turned you down last time, like, you haven't turned me down yet, right? So if I ask you to date me you can say yes and that'll all be cool, right?"
"What the hell makes you think that'd be cool, you fucking moron?" Youngjae rages. "Why the hell would I even want to say yes to you anymore-?!"
(There's a point Youngjae gets to, sometimes, where he works his stress levels up so high he just starts laughing. Daehyun thinks it's funny these days, but there used to be a time when it had freaked him the fuck out-mostly because back then it had invariably happened when Youngjae was two seconds from punching Daehyun in the face-a raised fist and then… hysterical laughter.)
(Actually, not so much has changed.)
Daehyun can't help feeling a little hopeful even as he reaches out and carefully, finally, awkwardly gives Youngjae a half-bro-patting hug (half an actual kinda, it's okay and I'm sorry kinda hug) and Youngjae shakes in his arms until the hysteria fades a little.
Daehyun's guilt feels a little bit fixed but it's still mostly there. (Progress though!) "I said I was sorry… What else can I do?"
Youngjae shoves weakly at Daehyun's chest and laugh-sighs a little, shaking his head as he turns back to the toilet wall. "Get out of here and let me pee in peace. I swear to god, Jung Daehyun, you are the fucking worst."
"Hey, but is that a yes?" Daehyun persists, unwilling to leave before getting a proper answer. (Progress! So close?) He fidgets and consciously drops the hand that's hovering stalkerishly over Youngjae's shoulder. "Youngjae~ Yoo Youngjae, will you go out with me? I really need to know~"
Youngjae spares a highly unimpressed glare back. (Yup, good idea to have dropped that hand.) "Daehyun. Can you just-. How about asking me sometime I don't have my dick out in front of a urinal, okay? I'm really losing my patience here!"
"Okay, okay, fine," Daehyun says, trying not to grin ear to ear like the doped up Seventh Dwarf because everything is ace and it's all gonna be okay. (Trying. Failing.) "It's not like your dick's anything I haven't seen before though, you know? I'm like, your mother. I saw you butt naked in the dorms from day one."
"That was an accident and you are nothing like my mother, you asswipe," Youngjae says, though his shoulders are shaking again and Daehyun knows he's trying not to laugh some more. "I mean, thank god. She's way more sensible than you'll ever be."
"I mean, thank god," Daehyun parrots, "because parent kink really ain't my thing."
"Get the fuck out!" Youngjae shouts and kicks off a shoe to throw at Daehyun's head in one smooth and practised motion.
Daehyun ducks just in time to laugh as it thuds against the bathroom door and scoops the shoe up, dodging outside before Youngjae can throw anything else (like his other shoe) and not miss. Youngjae is the best. "Hey, come find your Prince when you want your shoe back, Cinderjae!" Daehyun calls through the thin wood, laughing some more at Youngjae's incoherently indignant reply. "Don't hate me~ I love you."
"You are the worst, Jung Daehyun!" Youngjae shouts. "The absolute fucking worst-!"
It's true.
But Daehyun can't help the daft, shit-eating grin on his face heading back down to the practice room because just like that everything's back to normal-for the first time in months life is great.
And it's going to be awesome.