for fandom_muses: ...not knowing what will happen to you at the end of the day
The best way to live is by not knowing what will happen to you at the end of the day...
-Donald Barthelme
It all started in Birmingham.
He had been lingering around a train station there, trying to think of a place to go. As he wandered he had seen someone holding up a sign.
STEPHEN WILLIAMS
He looked around the terminal and it didn’t seem anyone was coming forward. It would be interesting to see where this Stephen bloke would be going, wouldn’t it?
He should’ve know better.
He walked up to the man holding the sign.
“Stephen Williams. That’s me.”
The man holding the sign looked at him.
“Yeah?”
“Course. Do I look like the type that would go around pretending to be someone else?”
He offered his sincerest smile, hoping to convince this stranger.
“Sorry, yeah, didn’t mean to -”
He offered this stranger another smile, this one generous and forgiving. He could forgive this man his skepticism. After all, he wasn’t Stephen Williams in any form.
“No sense dwelling on that. It’s all past and the past isn’t always prologue, despite what people far more clever than yours truly might say. Anyway, terrible memory with names and such. I’m sure I was told who I’d be meeting, but memory is being a bit lopsided at the moment.”
The man holding the sign blinked for a moment.
“Brian. The new roadie.”
The human Doctor tried not to look too puzzled. That wouldn’t do.
“Right, course. Brian.”
He held out a hand to shake Brian’s hand. Brian still looked at him a little confused and then put down the sign and offered him a hand to shake.
The human Doctor shook his hand eagerly. Repeating the name as he shook Brian’s hand to commit it to memory. “Brian. Brian. Brian. Right. Brian. Got it. Brian. Brilliant to meet you Brian.”
Brian blinked at him again, still a little taken aback. Then he looked around where the human Doctor was standing now. Although it was Stephen for the moment, wasn’t it?
“Don’t you have any bags?”
“Nope. Just me, myself and I. That’s not a problem is it?”
Brian shook his head no.
“Right then, lead the way!”
******
He learned from the time spent on the bus that Stephen was a new addition. Newly acquired and no one had met him before the day he stepped on the tour bus. That was a relief.
He wondered what Stephen did. Was he another roadie perhaps? Or maybe he was security. That would be exciting, being a bouncer of some sorts. He could pretend to be big and burly. He was disappointed to find out he wasn’t the bus driver. Although that was probably good for everyone else involved, seeing as he had enough difficulty keeping a standard car on the road, let alone a bus.
******
There were hints along the way he should’ve picked up, but he has a way of being oblivious.
Watching Sam play the guitar he had expressed an interest. Sam looked at him puzzled.
“Usually your sort don’t go much for learning things outside their skill set.”
He wasn’t entirely sure what this meant. It made him a little more curious what sort this Stephen was. He merely shrugged.
“Well, I don’t much care for being lumped with a sort.”
Sam had smiled at him and proceeded to find another guitar and started teaching him chords. He couldn’t quite get the hang of it, but he kept plugging away.
He sat in a seat at the back of the bus, trying to figure out the chords.
“Didn’t know you played guitar.”
He looked up at Brian, staring at him curiously.
“Well, it seems I do.”
He said it plainly then went back to what he was doing. It was difficult, this guitar, he didn’t have time to stop himself from being short.
He would apologize later.
******
Brian was the new bloke and seemed to keep to himself. He seemed far too awkward. So he decided he’d play cards with him. He needed to apologize for being short with him, anyway.
So they played games of gin rummy. A few others joined in the game after a while.
They kept score on the back of that piece of cardboard with Stephen Williams’ name. He wondered for a brief moment what happened to him back at that train station. He shrugged away the thoughts. For all intents and purposes he was Stephen Williams for the moment.
Any round that he won, the human Doctor found he had not quite learned to control that impulse of gloating. The proper Doctor never learned to control it either, did He? Either way winning a round was cause for celebration.
In the end some bloke called Tony won. He didn’t know him that well.
When the game ended he started a new game of War with Brian. His gloating didn’t seem to go away with this game either. And then Crazy Eights and Spit and some game called BS that Brian had picked up by a year studying abroad in Canada when he had a dorm mate from the States. He laughed at that last game of BS. It seemed too appropriate.
They kept track of the overall winners in this little games on the board, too.
*******
He stood in the backstage area of the club in Edinburough.
“But…..”
“But what?”
A guitar was being held out to him. He stared at it in something close to horror.
“I can’t play.”
“What do you mean you can’t play. It says right here, guitar.”
He was about to open his mouth to protest again when he heard someone approach from behind.
“Actually guitar is me, right there.”
Sam pointed to his name on the sheet then took the guitar himself. He turned to the human Doctor.
“Don’t worry, you‘re both still new. You’ll both get the hang of it.”
Sam walked away and the human Doctor looked towards Brian.
Brian looked back down at his list. “Sorry Stephen, must’ve gotten mixed up. Looks like drums right?”
Brian looked at him again, uncertain. “You are drums, right?”
The human Doctor hesitated. He sighed. Drums couldn’t be too difficult, just a lot of banging around. “Yeah, that’s me. Drums.”
Brian smiled, relieved.
******
The spotlight was too hot. He could feel himself sweating. He could feel eyes on him.
And now here he was stuck on a stage and the spotlights were much too bright. He could see Sam and a few others turn to him. Waiting for him.
He shielded his eyes.
He could do this. Just beat the things with the drumsticks. That couldn’t be too difficult.
He swallowed, the sweat dripping.
He could do this. It might actually be fun even.
He did the count off he’d always seen before. One. Two. Three. Four.
******
He sat on the curb. Trying to recount how he got there.
He had seen many terrifying things. Blinding lights and the sound of an entire room booing at him, that had to sit as one of the low points. Especially the part where he thought he was doing quite well, not paying attention, until he was pulled off of the drums.
Luckily Theo, the bass player, had some basic drum skills.
He had been unceremoniously kicked out the back door. It didn’t help that a few minutes before being pulled off the stage the message got through that a Stephen Williams missed the bus and would be able to meet up with them in Glasgow.
A few members of the band came out, glares shot in his direction. He looked away.
Brian stopped as he was walking.
“Your names not even Stephen, is it?”
“Nope.”
He kicked the dirt near his feet, then looked back up at Brian.
“I’m sorry. If I got you into trouble or anything.”
“Who are you then?”
“Just someone who was bored, I suppose. Seemed like it would be fun to find out who this person was who had people waiting for him in train stations like that.”
Brian nodded.
“Well, I wish you had been Stephen.”
He hesitated and then he handed the human Doctor a wad of bills.
“What’s this?”
“Your fee for the night.”
He grinned and looked up at him. “You’re kidding, right?”
“You played, you still get paid, unless someone tells me different.”
“This is your money. They don’t‘ let you handle the fees.”
“I’ll just get reimbursed.”
“No you won’t. You won’t even bother to ask.”
Brian looked around himself nervously.
“Probably not, but that should at least get you back to Birmingham if you needed.”
Brian started walking away before the human Doctor could even manage to get up.
He was about to push himself to a stand and grab a bus or something. Get away from here. He couldn’t just linger here. Especially if the crowd saw him. He still shuddered at the jeering.
Before he got up, something was put down beside him.
He looked up at Sam.
“What’s that?”
“I know that sort, I should’ve known you weren’t for real.”
“Should’ve but didn’t,” he replied shrugging a little offering a guilty smile.
“Teaches me to not trust my natural instincts. Always do. That there is for you, though.”
“For me?”
He looked and opened and there was the second guitar, the one he’d been given to practice with.
“Why’d you want to give me anything? I’m a fraud.”
“Yeah, well you seem to be a decent enough fraud anyway. Just take it and learn something, next time you get yourself caught in this predicament.”
He laughed and gave Sam a small salute.
“Thanks.”
******
It was 2am and he sat in the train station. A ticket to Berlin in his pocket.
There was no one around except for a few security personnel and some cleaning crew. He pulled out the guitar and he attempted to practice a few chords.
He was terrible but he’d have to get better. He needed to learn at least something.
After all he couldn’t go around being a complete fraud forever, and even if he did, at least he’d know something for the next time he was caught.
OOC: written for a request meme for
savagestime who wanted Handy in a band.