It's all I can do to keep a smile on for you...
My "mom" decided that I needed to go to the doctor because my "parents" think that there is something bothering me that they don't know about...me?... something bothering...ME?... I had no fucking clue...
My doctor said that I have to go to counciling,now that I've told her I think about killing myself.What a big bag of happiness that was.Merry Christmas to me, Santa brought me a shrink in his sack.
My doctor also said I'm depressed...oh,please? the things that doctors can tell you that you've already known!!!!!
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The first thing I'd like to say to any commenting fans out there, is thank you to dearest Novi and her friend linkey(?).You guys are awesome and I hope when I see you, ya won't mind if I almost kill you with a hug. The second thing is I have no understanding as to what the hell anyone means anymore.
sara may say that her NOT talking to me has nothing to do with me telling her i like her but entirely to do with "everything being about suicide and depressed"...no.no f-ing way is she to tell me that when she stopped talking to me after i told her i liked her.she has no idea what the hell has gone on in my life since then.no fucking clue.she has not talked to me and has no idea why i am at my most suicidal point EVER!plus,we did talk alot... every single fucking day !!! how the hell is that not alot?!?!?!?!
the only people in the entire fucking school that has any idea are Michelle, Manda, Jenny, Andrew, and C.they are the only people that know what the hell i have to put up with at home because they were all told about it.they all agree that it is hella bad and i love all of them for it.
there's not much more that i can say except i'm over what happened w/ sara and i just really don't give a shit anymore.
I Don’t Need You Anyways
Take this, Emo kid.
You fucking hypocrite.
Tell others love does not exist
And for you I’ll never slit my wrists.
I never called you my “only one”
And it’s too late to take back what I’ve done.
What I said doesn’t matter now,
But I’d like you to answer how,
How could you just stop talking to me
When it was you who was pleading
For me to tell you a secret only one other knew?
I’ve not painted days black, but I saved one for blue.
Sure in the past we used to be friends
And I never wanted for those days to end
I now have someone who loves me for me,
I love him back, and for you I feel sorry.
Sorry that I cannot be like you,
I can’t like someone that just can’t pull through.
That one day in my life, you stopped being my friend,
I saw a new me and the old one’s end.
I no longer look for you in the throng,
And without you on my mind the days aren’t so long.
You were my “friend”; what friend betrays
Another no matter what they’ve to say?!?!
So run off to others, we both heard the whip crack,
But when you call my name, I’ve strength not to turn back.
This is me telling you that I’m through;
I’m done trying to keep up this friendship with you.
It’s been several weeks now. I refuse to cry.
This is me… and this, is good-bye.
-Lennie
I can kick and scream all I want,
They'll never hear a sound.