false accusations
i received a phonecall somewhere around 3 am, shortly after arriving home from driving through bazillions of inches of snow and having a blast perfecting the power-slide. (and yes, i did manage to finally pull it off successfully) back to the point. here is how the phone conversation went:
"hey! is the nasty milf there?" some drunk bastard is shouting amidst a lot of background noise.
"what?" i ask, thinking i have misheard.
"the nasty milf. are you her?" comes the response.
"not as far as i know. who the hell are you?" i demand.
"i'm a friend of vanessa's. she's drunk and needs a ride home. she gave me her phone to call you. aren't you her girlfriend? you really need to pick her up. she's making a mess all over the place." he is explaining.
no, no, no. i am nobody's girlfriend. i don't even know a vanessa. and i am not old enough to be a milf. not yet damnit. crap, the big bday is almost here and i have random bastards shoving it in my face.
"sorry, you have the wrong number."
"hey! is the nasty milf there?" some drunk bastard is shouting amidst a lot of background noise.
"what?" i ask, thinking i have misheard.
"the nasty milf. are you her?" comes the response.
"not as far as i know. who the hell are you?" i demand.
"i'm a friend of vanessa's. she's drunk and needs a ride home. she gave me her phone to call you. aren't you her girlfriend? you really need to pick her up. she's making a mess all over the place." he is explaining.
no, no, no. i am nobody's girlfriend. i don't even know a vanessa. and i am not old enough to be a milf. not yet damnit. crap, the big bday is almost here and i have random bastards shoving it in my face.
"sorry, you have the wrong number."