Stop sweating bullets

[handsomejack]

To all City University students taking Advanced Applied Universal Physics and the Theory of Travel in the Fourth Dimension.You may all stop sweating bullets or contemplating the best way to commit self immolation. You all passed your exams

Comments

[cal_sitter]

Meanwhile, I should put in an order for extra boxes of tissue in the history department when students come by to pick up their papers.

[handsomejack]

So I've heard!

[cal_sitter]

Have you heard anything from the other departments yet? How many are in mourning over the futility of their efforts?

[handsomejack]

I believe that about half of the 'core' classes are suffering some symptoms of 'was I talking to myself'.

[cal_sitter]

And two-thirds of those have moved past denial to admit, "Yes, I was."

[handsomejack]

That sounds like a likely estimate, yep.

[cal_sitter]

How many will attempt to ease their pain with binge drinking loosely disguised as department parties?

[handsomejack]

As I have been very fortunate not to have to indulge in that activity myself, I'm afraid that I'm not very qualified to give a guess.

How many students do you think will be attempting the same on the spiked punch this evening?

[cal_sitter]

More than I care to guess at.

[handsomejack]

You should play bingo.

Make up a card of students and classes and then mark down everytime you see one of those students binge drinking. At the end of the night, see if you get bingo!

[cal_sitter]

I can think of better ways to play bingo.

[handsomejack]

Oh?

[cal_sitter]

I've noticed certain TA's putting out a certain kind of signal to a certain professor.

[handsomejack]

...

Oh! Would that professor be Dr. Jones?

[cal_sitter]

It could be.

[handsomejack]

I told him he should ask young Mr. Brooks out for dinner and then to the dance. I do hope he does.