Confused about Life
I need to start writing in my journal again. Actually writing, with a pencil, like I used to. I'm hating myself for constantly venting to people. Advice is needed sometimes but I want to figure things out for myself. Like I did when I used to vent to my journal instead of to people. People have opinions and views that I'm not interested in hearing anymore. I'm not interested in having my own thoughts swayed by someone elses thoughts. I've distanced myself from everyone. I'm tired and annoyed by selfish, heartless, fake people. Which seems to be everyone, one way or another. So for the first time in my life, I'm actually sick of people. I'm even sick of myself. I'm sick of friends, family, everyone. Not sure if this is a phase that everyone goes thru in life or if I'm really having issues or what but honestly, I don't care either way.
I don't understand the world. I'm confused by people. I'm confused by feelings, both my own and of the people around me. I don't think friends are real anymore and I'll never understand love.
I feel alone.
Possibly more alone now than ever in my life or at least in a very long time.
Not just physically alone. I've chosen that for once. But mentally alone and emotionally alone.
Maybe one day I'll learn?
Maybe one day I'll actually be happy? Truly happy.
Maybe one day I'll find my way?
I'm starting to understand "the sadness lasts forever". Such a negative phrase but there really is always something to be sad about. I'd prefer being more positive by saying happiness lasts forever too but at least I get it now.
Thank God for Lainey Mae. She's my heart.
I don't understand the world. I'm confused by people. I'm confused by feelings, both my own and of the people around me. I don't think friends are real anymore and I'll never understand love.
I feel alone.
Possibly more alone now than ever in my life or at least in a very long time.
Not just physically alone. I've chosen that for once. But mentally alone and emotionally alone.
Maybe one day I'll learn?
Maybe one day I'll actually be happy? Truly happy.
Maybe one day I'll find my way?
I'm starting to understand "the sadness lasts forever". Such a negative phrase but there really is always something to be sad about. I'd prefer being more positive by saying happiness lasts forever too but at least I get it now.
Thank God for Lainey Mae. She's my heart.