we're stopping history.
since forever i've been the girl with the plan. i worked hard enough during hs so i could go far away to college. i knew i wanted to start life over on my own. to make my own mistakes and only be able to look to myself to pick up the pieces. to succeed and not know in my head "i couldn't have done this without.." i was an apprentice at a chiropractors office, because i wanted to be sure that's what i wanted to grow up and be. i've always known i want to live on the coast. say goodbye to my midwest anchor. sail away.
so here i am. big city. college far enough away from home. in a major program preparing me for graduate work in chiropractics. i'm meeting new people and living for the moment. and here i am alone. again. and i'm thinking.. "is this what i want?" and my brain is saying "yes, of course. we've had this calculated for years."
but my heart is screaming something different. i should be in love. and living on the coast already. surrounded with music. sprawled out on wooden floors- studying art. i want to burn out light bulbs from late nights establishing a portfolio. i don't want to learn statistical analysis anymore, or freud's thoughts on behavior. i want to worry about whether or not i should buy ramen noodles or vine charcoal. and not be able to think about the answer because my eyes are locked in on you.
your fingers are like poetry. and we're a song in the making. my steel blue eyes that jet to gray at the slightest change of emotion and flippy blonde hair are evidence of my swedish heritage. but that doesn't matter. because we refuse to repeat anyone else's history. we're going to make our own. cause maybe life isn't about planning, structure, or mapping the details out. maybe we're just supposed to find what makes our stomach do backflips and go with it.
someday- my butterflies will have a better poker hand than my brain. and my heart's voice won't be rasp. i'll stop making it scream.
so here i am. big city. college far enough away from home. in a major program preparing me for graduate work in chiropractics. i'm meeting new people and living for the moment. and here i am alone. again. and i'm thinking.. "is this what i want?" and my brain is saying "yes, of course. we've had this calculated for years."
but my heart is screaming something different. i should be in love. and living on the coast already. surrounded with music. sprawled out on wooden floors- studying art. i want to burn out light bulbs from late nights establishing a portfolio. i don't want to learn statistical analysis anymore, or freud's thoughts on behavior. i want to worry about whether or not i should buy ramen noodles or vine charcoal. and not be able to think about the answer because my eyes are locked in on you.
your fingers are like poetry. and we're a song in the making. my steel blue eyes that jet to gray at the slightest change of emotion and flippy blonde hair are evidence of my swedish heritage. but that doesn't matter. because we refuse to repeat anyone else's history. we're going to make our own. cause maybe life isn't about planning, structure, or mapping the details out. maybe we're just supposed to find what makes our stomach do backflips and go with it.
someday- my butterflies will have a better poker hand than my brain. and my heart's voice won't be rasp. i'll stop making it scream.