bad fur day
There are limes hidden in the ritz cracker box as evidence of the best slumber party ever. Actually, Adam and I didn't do anything too special, we just sat around watching tv, played some video games, bothered Stephen, Blake, and Slave (Kevin), ate food, had a couple pillow fights, and just talked, but yet it really felt like something I've needed. It made me realize how much it sucks always being busy, and how much I missed just wasting the night away with no plans whatsoever with my best friend. It reminded me a lot of all the nights last summer when Adam and I would go park somewhere and sit on his car hood and just talk about things. Lately, I've felt like my life was a movie and someone else had the controller. I keep seeming to do things wrong and I can't ever figure out what anyone else around me is thinking or feeling. In less than two months, I'm gone. I'm on my own. and it just doesn't seem like enough time to finish up all the plans, to say all the goodbyes, to do everything I wanted and say everything needed. Sometimes I wish I had that remote control, and I could hit pause and forever keep a perfect moment. I'd replay over and over all those nights with you where we'd hold each other and the world was ours. I'd keep the nights with friends where I laugh so much my stomach hurts the entire next day. I'd fast forward that feeling I get right before sleep when I realize it's not oh so perfect, because I'm so in love and somebody's head isn't sharing my pillow with me. In reality the the film is always going to be in play, but if I had it my way, pause would be my favorite button.
It's funny how last night was almost perfect. How I was still happy today, laughing and making cookies. Singing along in my not so beautiful voice to songs that played as we drove in the sun. aaand how I had started to believe everything was going to be okay. Then in just a few minutes I could feel a brick in my stomach. I came home, showered, and got ready for bed. I'm ready to race the sun, 'cause something is telling me I'm falling out before he is tonite.
It's funny how last night was almost perfect. How I was still happy today, laughing and making cookies. Singing along in my not so beautiful voice to songs that played as we drove in the sun. aaand how I had started to believe everything was going to be okay. Then in just a few minutes I could feel a brick in my stomach. I came home, showered, and got ready for bed. I'm ready to race the sun, 'cause something is telling me I'm falling out before he is tonite.