WOW! I think too much...
Well it's Thursday and the knot in my stomach is ever there. Shrinking, but there. Last night I went inside my head and just sat there and talked to God, like really talked to him for the first time in a while. It was good. I yelled and I stamped and I cried and He listened and he told me everything was going to be OK and I'm His. He's totally in control of everything. Sometimes I forget that and try to be the head honcho. That's when things go awry. I know that He will give me what I need. Psalm 55:22 from the Message says, "Pile your troubles on GOD's shoulders--
he'll carry your load, He'll help you out.
He'll never let good people
topple into ruin." BOY! That is so amazing, thank you Derek for bringing it to my attention. Derek gave me this passage on Monday night/Tuesday morning, lol...and I've just been concentrating on it since. It just like completely lifts me up. And yeah, I'm still hurting, who wouldn't be? That's a human emotion. But I'm not going to be consumed by it. I need to live. I have responsibilities that are not me.
Lessons I've learned in the past couple of days: be patient; don't be selfish; God is in control; God is the only comfort I need but friends def. help, too; swimmers are a strong support system; Mom actually knows everything; don't judge people until you actually meet or talk to them; eventhough Chris is mean sometimes and thinks he can change me by being controlling, he actually cares.
P.S. I don't want to go to school...Spanish midterm due today!! BOOO!!! I procrastinate too much. I'm working on the finishing touches right now...about four hours before it's due. I don't want to go to school at all...but...ONE MORE WEEK UNTIL SPRING BREAK! THANK GOD!!! I need the actual break. I've missed so many classes, but still have to make up all the work. I'm falling apart...or I was. I'm getting back on track now. Thanks to Gene. He really helped me out last night. I really had to clear my head. There was so much junk in my head that I couldn't even think straight. The past couple of nights I've just been up thinking...thinking thoughts I didn't even understand! There were things in there that I haven't even thought about in years and things that I just learned that day. I had been thinking about things I didn't even know I thought about, if that makes ANY sense. Maybe I need the men in the white coats to come...hahaha! Mom always says that. OH!!! The other day in the car:
Reid: when I was four, I used to think girls had lips and boys had teeth. Then I realized what these red things on my face were.
OMG! It was so funny! He says the funniest most hilarious things ever. What would life be like without Reid?
he'll carry your load, He'll help you out.
He'll never let good people
topple into ruin." BOY! That is so amazing, thank you Derek for bringing it to my attention. Derek gave me this passage on Monday night/Tuesday morning, lol...and I've just been concentrating on it since. It just like completely lifts me up. And yeah, I'm still hurting, who wouldn't be? That's a human emotion. But I'm not going to be consumed by it. I need to live. I have responsibilities that are not me.
Lessons I've learned in the past couple of days: be patient; don't be selfish; God is in control; God is the only comfort I need but friends def. help, too; swimmers are a strong support system; Mom actually knows everything; don't judge people until you actually meet or talk to them; eventhough Chris is mean sometimes and thinks he can change me by being controlling, he actually cares.
P.S. I don't want to go to school...Spanish midterm due today!! BOOO!!! I procrastinate too much. I'm working on the finishing touches right now...about four hours before it's due. I don't want to go to school at all...but...ONE MORE WEEK UNTIL SPRING BREAK! THANK GOD!!! I need the actual break. I've missed so many classes, but still have to make up all the work. I'm falling apart...or I was. I'm getting back on track now. Thanks to Gene. He really helped me out last night. I really had to clear my head. There was so much junk in my head that I couldn't even think straight. The past couple of nights I've just been up thinking...thinking thoughts I didn't even understand! There were things in there that I haven't even thought about in years and things that I just learned that day. I had been thinking about things I didn't even know I thought about, if that makes ANY sense. Maybe I need the men in the white coats to come...hahaha! Mom always says that. OH!!! The other day in the car:
Reid: when I was four, I used to think girls had lips and boys had teeth. Then I realized what these red things on my face were.
OMG! It was so funny! He says the funniest most hilarious things ever. What would life be like without Reid?