(no subject)

[handlnmypocket]

hola senor's and senorita's. I honestly don't think anyone anywhere uses a livejournal anymore. OH WELL!! i was just reading kate's old livejournal entry's and it made me sad...all the memoriesssss!! Bahamas, fort shit, old friends..stupid stuff like that. Summer spend with awesome people, experiencing awesome things. it was all so simple back than! What happend? :[ I miss all my old friends, and I am happy to admit that! I don't care what anyone says anymore. I am a senior and peacin' outta spaulding in, like 5 months. This year is going shitty so far..it's all senior stuff and to be quite honest this is the only year i am taking shcool as a joke. I hardly ever make it to school on time, i've owed about $100 in parking fines for not parking in the right places 'cause i get to school too late, I don't do my homework anymore, i only went to two out of four finals last semester. but I don't care..i am going to graduate somehow and get out of Rochester! I am trying really hard right now to focus on myself and what i want. Working is miserable...it always will be no matter what job i have. I walked out of Kmart one day during the summer while I was on my break. I got a new car, I paid for it, it was $6,000 so now every month i have to make a car payment, plus car insurance,plus i am having to pay off my stupid phone bill. Wow, life is so sweet once you get older. I wish i was a little kid and could eat grass again and pull apart worms. I miss rolling down my stairs, pretending to be a mermaid in the ocean, wearing pig-tails, hanging out with old friends, not caring about a thing in the world. I miss having a free spirit.i've grown now and i feel like I have lost a little part of me. I still try to love everyone and everything. People have changed and it makes my heart sad. I miss rolling around in the grass under the hot sun. I miss painting on my walls..which brings me to another sad chapter in my life. Me and my mom sold the house and so now we are moving. I don't know what i am going to do with my room. I guess just take pictures of the walls where everyone has written something on it and painted things on it. and where all the pictures in the world are hung up on it. It makes me so sad. Don't get me wrong..I am a happy girl just like always but i really do miss alot of things from the past. I hate sounding sappy!! And i really hope someone reads this. Smoking weed and taking random drives with people I love and singing really loud and laughing until i pee my pants are some of my favorite things to do right now in my life. I have also had the great opportunity to meet some beautiful new people lately. Everyone is so interesting and perfect. There hasn't been a person i have come across who i think is wrong. Everyone is great and beautiful and funny. I just wish it was summer right now and that I could do summer things like go to the beach all day, get eaten up by mosquitos, drive through windy backgrounds in maine, get lost trying to go nowhere, rollin' big j's and listening to ryan adams. i just wish things were simple. I miss the bahamas and that summer. I know it's cheesy to say but the bahamers was one of the best times of my life!! (even though it was with band, which i happily dropped out of my junior year!) it wasn't me and 'the band'...more like me and kate. and we had the best little adventures EVER. we tried buying weed off of a guy on the side of the street, we tried buying bowls but we are queer and were only 16 years old. we never went to any of the "11:00p.m meetings" on the top of the deck of the cruise ship. we thought we were such rebels and just slept through them all. Everyday we got in trouble and had to be paired with other people for the day. we were in love with two of our best guy friends and would spend all our "spending money" online talking to them and buying shit loads of candy. we'd sit in our little room on the ship,eat candy, drink soda, talk about boys and complain about how tan we werent when we were really black. I used to use the water bottles in the room for my weights and "work out" my arms. We'd ride the elevators on the ship 24/7 cause we were so bored and we hated everyone in band. We'd run away as soon as we got off the ship and were in Nassau, bahamas or whatever it was. We ran down side streets and would giggle until we cried. we were so happy. it sounds stupid and childlike, but we were so free and loved it. Now, this summer i'll be home. Beach, work, beach, work, beach, work. that's going to consume my summer. I want to quit where i am working now and try to be a maid at The Comfort Inn in dover. That'd be a sweet job. I am going out to California after this summer to live with my aunt and uncle. not sure what I want to do yet...i'll see when i get out there.
i've had some beautiful, mind changing, awesome moments with fabulous friends that i wouldn't trade for the world.<3