(no subject)
things were going good until last tuesday
i tried talking to people
theres not much for them to say to me
so maybe if i write some of it down it will make me feel like a weight has been lifted
my mom kicked me out of her house
things with us are not going good at all
she drove me away with her drinking and i guess if i just wouldve stuck it out she woudlnt have become this bad of an alcoholic
i am not a good daughter to her
and i ruined the relationship she dreamed of when i was little
shes trying to get my dad to think i am a bad daughter
he yelled at me tonight but it was probly his pain meds
i cant talk to either one it seems
dads on medicine a lot and my mom is drinking
i cant go anywhere because of this fucking curfew
i tried to call my mom for the hurricane but she never answered and tried to yell at me for it
she claims i am the immature one and i dont give a shit about anything
when i know i care way too much about everything
i used to never hate going to her house because we could talk and shed help me and id help her
her drinking made her a different person so id come home late every night so i didnt have to deal with it
i shouldve though, because it made her get worse. i am sorry for that i like blame it all on me but this time i feel like it is my fault
i am a bad daughter
i dont really know what to do because every time we talk it ends up in my crying my eyes out getting hives like i did when i was little
we dont even talk in person or on the phone
its a stupid email
i tried telling her how i felt but all she could say was
'oh poor little girl, i dont want you here, idont like the person you have become'
someone please tell me what have i become! honest please.
i cant be strong
i am not capable of it
i get hurt VERY easily
you can walk all over me and i will sit there and let you
because i am not good with sticking up for myself
having someone you love call you a fucking bitch and to pack my shit and get out of the house isnt taken too lightly with me
that same person who used to take u shopping and tell u everything and take you to bars in boston
what i did wrong:
wasnt around
not calling her while i was at my dads enough
i do care about her and her work
i would ask her how it was
but i guess i didnt do it enough
i dont want my dad to think i am a bad daughter either
so right now i cant talk to my mom without me crying
i am a bad daughter to her
i cant talk to my dad yet
i wish i could be strong
i will keep trying to call her and make an effort but it will be hard if all i hear is negative feedback
i just want things to go back how they were but it is going to take a long time
i guess that made me feel better
what would really make me feel better is if i could drive around in the cold but i might get arrested
9 o clock
why couldnt they make it atleast 11
i tried talking to people
theres not much for them to say to me
so maybe if i write some of it down it will make me feel like a weight has been lifted
my mom kicked me out of her house
things with us are not going good at all
she drove me away with her drinking and i guess if i just wouldve stuck it out she woudlnt have become this bad of an alcoholic
i am not a good daughter to her
and i ruined the relationship she dreamed of when i was little
shes trying to get my dad to think i am a bad daughter
he yelled at me tonight but it was probly his pain meds
i cant talk to either one it seems
dads on medicine a lot and my mom is drinking
i cant go anywhere because of this fucking curfew
i tried to call my mom for the hurricane but she never answered and tried to yell at me for it
she claims i am the immature one and i dont give a shit about anything
when i know i care way too much about everything
i used to never hate going to her house because we could talk and shed help me and id help her
her drinking made her a different person so id come home late every night so i didnt have to deal with it
i shouldve though, because it made her get worse. i am sorry for that i like blame it all on me but this time i feel like it is my fault
i am a bad daughter
i dont really know what to do because every time we talk it ends up in my crying my eyes out getting hives like i did when i was little
we dont even talk in person or on the phone
its a stupid email
i tried telling her how i felt but all she could say was
'oh poor little girl, i dont want you here, idont like the person you have become'
someone please tell me what have i become! honest please.
i cant be strong
i am not capable of it
i get hurt VERY easily
you can walk all over me and i will sit there and let you
because i am not good with sticking up for myself
having someone you love call you a fucking bitch and to pack my shit and get out of the house isnt taken too lightly with me
that same person who used to take u shopping and tell u everything and take you to bars in boston
what i did wrong:
wasnt around
not calling her while i was at my dads enough
i do care about her and her work
i would ask her how it was
but i guess i didnt do it enough
i dont want my dad to think i am a bad daughter either
so right now i cant talk to my mom without me crying
i am a bad daughter to her
i cant talk to my dad yet
i wish i could be strong
i will keep trying to call her and make an effort but it will be hard if all i hear is negative feedback
i just want things to go back how they were but it is going to take a long time
i guess that made me feel better
what would really make me feel better is if i could drive around in the cold but i might get arrested
9 o clock
why couldnt they make it atleast 11