She thinks too much sometimes.
Sometimes, I just want to bang my head against the wall. I'm so unsure of what I'm supposed to be doing in life, and I can't help but feel like I'm simply existing... not living. I keep waiting for aha! moments - where I can fully exhaust myself in something that I actually like doing - but they never come. I feel like I'm sitting still most of the time, just waiting so much... waiting to the point of self-loathing, waiting to the point of desperation... waiting for something that never comes.
You know what? This paragraph above is the main reason why I hate to be alone. My brain goes into overdrive and presents all my deepest and darkest problems in full detail - the specific problems that I manage to successfully avoid when I'm in the company of other people. So before I go off to slit my wrists or hang myself or something, I'm going to stop writing and look for something to distract myself. I may be a lost soul, trudging incessantly through long and winded paths to the unknown, but I do know that if I die today, my death would be a bit premature. So there you go, I am not suicidal. I haven't made a mark in this world yet - I don't want to die.
You know what? This paragraph above is the main reason why I hate to be alone. My brain goes into overdrive and presents all my deepest and darkest problems in full detail - the specific problems that I manage to successfully avoid when I'm in the company of other people. So before I go off to slit my wrists or hang myself or something, I'm going to stop writing and look for something to distract myself. I may be a lost soul, trudging incessantly through long and winded paths to the unknown, but I do know that if I die today, my death would be a bit premature. So there you go, I am not suicidal. I haven't made a mark in this world yet - I don't want to die.