Mostly venting and agonizing. Triggers for rape and shit like that, sorry.

[hanaurimusume]

I don't know. I've been really positive about life lately, and I manage to be cheery, and I like myself better this way. I like helping people out and helping them feel happy and trying to help them with their problems. I haven't been breaking down that often, but lately it happens now and again and I think that's ok. I'm going to just do that

Comments

[mewmewmew_]

Do any of the jobs you're applying for offer health care? That sounds like it would be the best bet for you. I really want you to be able to get that MRI as soon as possible. I still suspect it to just be stress, as stress is a powerful state, however for your own piece of mind I hope that a tumor can be ruled out, and that you also don't have postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. I took Fluoxetine for a year or two and I found it helpful. I know it's not of much comfort, but you know that I experience a lot of the same symptoms you do. My MRI was clean. What about your hearing or vision? When were they last tested?

Speaking of stress, you sound like you most definitely have PTSD. PTSD generally doesn't happen immediately after a traumatic event. The fact that you're only experiencing anxiety from past experiences now isn't that surprising, especially with the continuing situations you're faced with.

Obviously I'm really sad that bad things have happened to you and the unnecessary grief it's causing you now, but I'm glad that you're talking about it. You know I'm battling with my own sexual assault histories right now, which is really hard to do when I'm being assaulted 2-3 times a week even now. But talking about it has been helping me heal from it. It puts the control back in my own hands when I call out how fucked up this society is. I'm opening up peoples eyes and reminding them that it's rage they should be feeling, not passivity. We all like to turn a blind eye, pretend it doesn't happen or that it's not as bad as it looks. But if we keep making our voices heard, people will no longer ignore it and that's when we can start to make change.

Stay strong my friend. We need each other.

[david_feuer]

You're being assaulted two to three times a week????

[mewmewmew_]

Not sure what's going on. Maybe the planets are aligned strangely. Or maybe it's always been this way and because I'm fed up with shrugging it off, I've become hyper sensitive and am now calling it out when it happens. Either way, I've been having a lot of rough situations happen since I've been home and it's making it difficult to reconcile all the situations from my past.

[david_feuer]

Shit, man, maybe you should leave home. Wish I had a couch to offer. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help.