I feel like I update too much now
I was in New York for a few days, celebrating an important day. The elevator music is excellent there. I had no idea what I was going to do but I completely improvised and the results came out beautifully, like a catchy song you first hear. I only had three candles and I said "You are turning three today." And then went to look at the artificial stars, which were the city lights, on a random roof top. My heart pittered pattered at one point, after he made his wish. I was pleasantly surprised to say the least and was even able to catch my breath. I've known him for nearly a whole year, a fucking year, and the quixotic feelings have never passed since then. If anything, they've evolved into something else. I love the imagery in his head and I want to see more.
Before we left I bought one of those tiny fake Christmas trees and decorated it for the other model who lives there. It's a nice surprise, I thought, but she is very Bah Humbug, I am Scrooge, and might throw it off the balcony. If she does, it will be well worth it. I hope it lands on a passing pedestrian.
It's my birthday soon, well, in about three weeks. I haven't decided what I'm going to do, or if I even want to have a party. I was never one to attract a huge amount attention to myself. I have these stages where I'm very jaded and cynical and for a months in the summer, I was. I'm sure everyone thinks that when something you're immune to grabs you when you're not expecting it. I was that and thought I'd never get out of it. I'm sure I must have seemed pretty content, but that was not the case. I wasn't unhappy, I just couldn't see the whole picture. I guess when you have more cons than pros in life, you tend to look at it like that, but right now I have more pros than cons and I don't attempt to changing it. It's very easy not to change it. It's also very easy to gain more cons although I suppose I'm smart enough, fate and karma can eat me. And you can run with sharp objects if you're careful. Pass the flight of stairs, though.
And I think I resolved any bad karma by now. Love will conquer all and will give you a free complimentary gift in the end. A year ago I was living with a girl I thought I'd have in my life for decades, but it seems like that epic chapter is over, and new people have filled new slots. We shared everything, including sex, yeah yeah, you know the story. There was always something passionate and aggressive about it. These kind of things always go down in history, don't they? Friendships change and new ones blossom to replace the old ones. When in doubt, you turn left, not right. Left is always the wrong turn.
Six months ago, I tried acid for the first time with an Australian who roamed the jungle. We nearly caught the entire hotel on fire from attempting to make popcorn. I don't have the same best friends, or any of the same friends at all, as I did a year ago. My mind is open wide. I like the new change though, and I want to embrace it. It's hard not to look back on events when you're slipping into a further age. I've been sucked out of a complete transition. I'm embracing that too. You can't say "oh, I hate my life" because everyone has these moments and the more you avoid it the longer it takes to go away. We all have our weird moments, and people are strange, as Jim Morrison used to say.
My horoscope keeps telling me to not make promises I can't keep, as if I'm about to do it. Off with it, I say. Why are my updates always long? Why do I never make one-liners?
P.S. A. Levine, where the hell are you?
Before we left I bought one of those tiny fake Christmas trees and decorated it for the other model who lives there. It's a nice surprise, I thought, but she is very Bah Humbug, I am Scrooge, and might throw it off the balcony. If she does, it will be well worth it. I hope it lands on a passing pedestrian.
It's my birthday soon, well, in about three weeks. I haven't decided what I'm going to do, or if I even want to have a party. I was never one to attract a huge amount attention to myself. I have these stages where I'm very jaded and cynical and for a months in the summer, I was. I'm sure everyone thinks that when something you're immune to grabs you when you're not expecting it. I was that and thought I'd never get out of it. I'm sure I must have seemed pretty content, but that was not the case. I wasn't unhappy, I just couldn't see the whole picture. I guess when you have more cons than pros in life, you tend to look at it like that, but right now I have more pros than cons and I don't attempt to changing it. It's very easy not to change it. It's also very easy to gain more cons although I suppose I'm smart enough, fate and karma can eat me. And you can run with sharp objects if you're careful. Pass the flight of stairs, though.
And I think I resolved any bad karma by now. Love will conquer all and will give you a free complimentary gift in the end. A year ago I was living with a girl I thought I'd have in my life for decades, but it seems like that epic chapter is over, and new people have filled new slots. We shared everything, including sex, yeah yeah, you know the story. There was always something passionate and aggressive about it. These kind of things always go down in history, don't they? Friendships change and new ones blossom to replace the old ones. When in doubt, you turn left, not right. Left is always the wrong turn.
Six months ago, I tried acid for the first time with an Australian who roamed the jungle. We nearly caught the entire hotel on fire from attempting to make popcorn. I don't have the same best friends, or any of the same friends at all, as I did a year ago. My mind is open wide. I like the new change though, and I want to embrace it. It's hard not to look back on events when you're slipping into a further age. I've been sucked out of a complete transition. I'm embracing that too. You can't say "oh, I hate my life" because everyone has these moments and the more you avoid it the longer it takes to go away. We all have our weird moments, and people are strange, as Jim Morrison used to say.
My horoscope keeps telling me to not make promises I can't keep, as if I'm about to do it. Off with it, I say. Why are my updates always long? Why do I never make one-liners?
P.S. A. Levine, where the hell are you?