This and that...
I know that I don't really write a lot in this journal, and I really feel it's a shame I don't. Because even just for my own sake, writing it down, all the trivial and fundamental things that happens to me; it will some day be here to make me remember. To make me remember what I did and what I thought, but also who I am and who I was.
I've been thinking about the future a lot lately, at least a lot more than I used to. Since I came back from Japan, that wonderful country which I really miss a lot, I've changed. I think it's a good change, but because I've changed now when I'm back I have a hard time dealing with the fact that my Swedish lifestyle doesn't fully match. I want to do more, yet I do less... It's a weird feeling of "I have to" or "I should" rather than "I want to" or "I feel like".
It's somehow a waste of life, and maybe partly these feelings are coming from not being able to see my boyfriend, which I find really though. Or maybe that's just my life right now. But I want to try and embrace that girl I found in Tokyo and let her see some of Luleå too. Because this town is not that bad, it is what you make it and at the very least it's filled with my very best friends and my family.
I just hope that i'll be able to bring myself out a little more, both in the real life and in this journal, because frankly that is a part of what I really want to be. At least I should try, and even if I fail and this turns out to be my only post in several months, at least I did this. I didn't trash it before it even happened, and hopefully that counts for something.
So, some things I just really feel like doing:
1. I want to go SOMEWHERE, I really mean just anywhere. Next town or maybe Italy. I just want to do something new, something that is not a part of what I always do. I've always liked new things, though people may not believe it, and that is why there's a million things I could write here if I were to be more specific. So for now I'll just settle with this.
2. I want to see my boyfriend. It really is hard with long distance and it's not that I expected it to be easy, but it's really taking it's toll on me. I've become a lot more grumpy and that is not something I want at all. I just wish I could see him, and even speak to him more often.
3. Take more pictures and then actually do something with them. Like fixing then and posting them here, or making a photo book or album with all my pictures from Japan. This is something I really want to do.
It was raining and the light was simply too beautiful to ignore, so while my boyfriend wrote on his report I went outside and stayed as long as my camera could handle. It was cold, but also one of those evenings that makes you go "Wow!". It's a few weeks old now, but better that then never!
4. WRITE.. Just write, write and write. It's just one of those things I love doing and sadly I haven't had the inspiration for my stories lately. But in stead I've written other things, like this for example. I feel like I've missed it. ♥
5. Read. There's a lot of books I want to read again, as well as some new ones. I just don't want to get trapped inside too much(though I already am).
And then the list goes on and on... But 5 will have to do for now. Because even if it's only 1.17 am. I'm quite tired, also everyone else is asleep (H is not home). So I'll try to save some energy to have some fun this weekend.
(I really want something to drink though, so I guess water will have to be number 6)
So long for now.
I've been thinking about the future a lot lately, at least a lot more than I used to. Since I came back from Japan, that wonderful country which I really miss a lot, I've changed. I think it's a good change, but because I've changed now when I'm back I have a hard time dealing with the fact that my Swedish lifestyle doesn't fully match. I want to do more, yet I do less... It's a weird feeling of "I have to" or "I should" rather than "I want to" or "I feel like".
It's somehow a waste of life, and maybe partly these feelings are coming from not being able to see my boyfriend, which I find really though. Or maybe that's just my life right now. But I want to try and embrace that girl I found in Tokyo and let her see some of Luleå too. Because this town is not that bad, it is what you make it and at the very least it's filled with my very best friends and my family.
I just hope that i'll be able to bring myself out a little more, both in the real life and in this journal, because frankly that is a part of what I really want to be. At least I should try, and even if I fail and this turns out to be my only post in several months, at least I did this. I didn't trash it before it even happened, and hopefully that counts for something.
So, some things I just really feel like doing:
1. I want to go SOMEWHERE, I really mean just anywhere. Next town or maybe Italy. I just want to do something new, something that is not a part of what I always do. I've always liked new things, though people may not believe it, and that is why there's a million things I could write here if I were to be more specific. So for now I'll just settle with this.
2. I want to see my boyfriend. It really is hard with long distance and it's not that I expected it to be easy, but it's really taking it's toll on me. I've become a lot more grumpy and that is not something I want at all. I just wish I could see him, and even speak to him more often.
3. Take more pictures and then actually do something with them. Like fixing then and posting them here, or making a photo book or album with all my pictures from Japan. This is something I really want to do.
It was raining and the light was simply too beautiful to ignore, so while my boyfriend wrote on his report I went outside and stayed as long as my camera could handle. It was cold, but also one of those evenings that makes you go "Wow!". It's a few weeks old now, but better that then never!
4. WRITE.. Just write, write and write. It's just one of those things I love doing and sadly I haven't had the inspiration for my stories lately. But in stead I've written other things, like this for example. I feel like I've missed it. ♥
5. Read. There's a lot of books I want to read again, as well as some new ones. I just don't want to get trapped inside too much(though I already am).
And then the list goes on and on... But 5 will have to do for now. Because even if it's only 1.17 am. I'm quite tired, also everyone else is asleep (H is not home). So I'll try to save some energy to have some fun this weekend.
(I really want something to drink though, so I guess water will have to be number 6)
So long for now.