Midnight musings; or when BJDs decide to start developing their character on their own... ^^;;

[hanashichan]

Something is happening to Meme, character-wise. I was being frustrated with my paper due to... last Thursday (^^;; I'm so dead if I haven't done it by the time the professor sees me next time...), and I almost got jokingly annoyed with Meme sitting there on the back of the sofa leaning at the wall, looking like he owns the place, content but slightly bored. Then I looked at him again, and indeed, he does have an air around him he hasn't had before, he has a presence (for the lack of a better word). It might just be one of his phases of narsicm he gets now and then, but then again, I have a feeling he might be turning into a much more arrogant or selfconscious person than he has been. Now that I think back, there are things that seem to hint this way a while back already. In the latest episodes I have written about him he has seemed more distant somehow, the writing has been noticeably less intuitious than before, indicating that he is entering a phase of change. A picture I drew of him recently came out completely different than the previous ones, in this one he looks like an adult (well, he is an adult, but he has never had that air around him before, he has always been an "effeminate boy"). His gaze was steady, certain, calm, even serious, and invitive - an odd combination in his case. The photo shoot yesterday is another example. Even though he came out looking coy and tremulous and all, there was a strange straightforvardness about him he usually lacks, especially in the last two pictures, as if he would have whispered, "Oh yes, this is what I am, among many other things, appreciate it or get lost, I'm proud of what I am, you know". He has never openly shown pride of himself except when confronted with disapproval (or with overflowing adoration like when he has been on stage, resulting in fuelling his narcism), and in the cases of countering disapproval his pride has always been fuelled by his will to rebel. I really hope his final wig comes soon so he finally looks just like himself, that will help me greatly in defining the changes in his character. He is starting to show signs of a 'devil-may-care' -attitude, which is in his case a good thing, actually, but it does disturb the equilibrium a bit. But I will know more the moment I see the final wig on him. Or maybe I just simply have spoiled him too much already... ^^;;
Not that the changes are all bad, necessarily, he has always had problems with what he is (or what he thinks he is...), so few ounces of self esteem is a happy thing indeed; I just have to be careful that I don't let the development go too far (as if it would be up to me to stop him...). We'll see.