I'll never make the same mistake...
This has been the most wonderful night I have had in quite sometime. The weather is absolutely amazing here, and when you mix some beautiful weather with some amazing people you get a really perfect night.
So Meghan, Tony, Devin, Alison and I all went to Steak and Shake and got hats and then we went to Lake Story and swung on the swings and stared at the stars and played in the sand and spun on the merry go 'round and laid by the water and frolicked in the dandilions... Then we went back to Devin's house and sat on the porch and drank boxed wine and during this whole time I fell in love with the way my life is and hoped that once I settled in to my surroundings a little better next year, my life will in fact turn out to be much like the way it was the very evening... perfect and peaceful.
But at the same time I have such mixed emotions because of all that happened this weekend and who I'm living with next year and everyone and their groups of people and their boyfriends or potential boyfriends and I just feel sometimes like I'm barely hanging on.
It sucks to depend so much on one person as the person who will always be there for me when it comes to boys. Because we're both at the same place I'd say, and we're both just as lost as one another. But then it happens that things work out for her and I become so happy for her but then so disheartened because all of a sudden I'm all alone and that one little strand I was hanging on to just slips... and I have no where else to go.
Maybe if I find the things I love in life I'll fit right in... I feel like that's my only isolation from the rest of the world these days. Passions and general knowledge of the world and the weird things in it. I feel I lack that.
I just can't wait for these next few weeks to be over so I can be over with classes and move back to Austin for the summer and see all my buddies there again because I miss them greatly. But at the same time I'm sad to leave because my first year is over and it was all so fun and well.. I feel like I'm just starting to really find my place here... and now it's time to leave.
My suite next year is known for some things that worry me. It's going to be some crazy living is all I can say. I can't wait... but then again, I can can't I?
I'm so confused right now.
So Meghan, Tony, Devin, Alison and I all went to Steak and Shake and got hats and then we went to Lake Story and swung on the swings and stared at the stars and played in the sand and spun on the merry go 'round and laid by the water and frolicked in the dandilions... Then we went back to Devin's house and sat on the porch and drank boxed wine and during this whole time I fell in love with the way my life is and hoped that once I settled in to my surroundings a little better next year, my life will in fact turn out to be much like the way it was the very evening... perfect and peaceful.
But at the same time I have such mixed emotions because of all that happened this weekend and who I'm living with next year and everyone and their groups of people and their boyfriends or potential boyfriends and I just feel sometimes like I'm barely hanging on.
It sucks to depend so much on one person as the person who will always be there for me when it comes to boys. Because we're both at the same place I'd say, and we're both just as lost as one another. But then it happens that things work out for her and I become so happy for her but then so disheartened because all of a sudden I'm all alone and that one little strand I was hanging on to just slips... and I have no where else to go.
Maybe if I find the things I love in life I'll fit right in... I feel like that's my only isolation from the rest of the world these days. Passions and general knowledge of the world and the weird things in it. I feel I lack that.
I just can't wait for these next few weeks to be over so I can be over with classes and move back to Austin for the summer and see all my buddies there again because I miss them greatly. But at the same time I'm sad to leave because my first year is over and it was all so fun and well.. I feel like I'm just starting to really find my place here... and now it's time to leave.
My suite next year is known for some things that worry me. It's going to be some crazy living is all I can say. I can't wait... but then again, I can can't I?
I'm so confused right now.