[HnG] Reluctance (PG) [Impatience arc Part 11]
Title: Reluctance
Author: Kimmie (tasukichiriko@hotmail.com)
Category: shonen ai
Pairings: AkiHika
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah. (Hotta and Obana, guys!)
Rating: PG.
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: None.
Notes: Part eleven of the "Impatience" arc... and I can't believe I still have ideas for it. Enjoy! (Find previous parts at Jumpy Boys.)
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Akira sat on the couch, the empty laundry basket at his feet. He had just dumped the contents onto the seat next to him; fresh from the laundromat. He started to fold.
Even doing laundry that morning had been different. He and Hikaru had intended to do it the night before, but certain things came up... like oral sex and speed go.
As he picked up a pair of Hikaru's boxers to fold, Akira blushed and made quick work of them. He hadn't explicitly stated what "more" he was promising Hikaru if the other man got to the semi-finals of the Honinbou tournament. It had simply been that: "more". But, last night had been "more", as well. It had been overwhelming, to Akira. Regardless of what Hikaru had said, it would change things.
It would change how Akira went about his morning routine because he might catch a glimpse himself in the foggy mirror after his shower and feel flustered. It would change how he would feel when he knew Hikaru was looking at him with lust evident in his expression. It would change they way they lived, the way they worked, and all because Akira had given in to the faintest glimmer of pull on his heart. He slammed the towel he'd just folded into the basket and stood up.
Hikaru was gone for the evening, attending a children's go event. Akira had intended to go, but backed out at the last minute; not really sure if he could keep his composure around Hikaru. But as he looked around the empty apartment, he knew he was being ridiculous. With no one else in sight, no noises coming from Hikaru still snoring lightly in the bedroom, or taking a shower in the bathroom, or making a mess in the kitchen for Akira to clean up... it was silent. Akira knew he could turn on the television, but it still hadn't been pulled out of the corner from the go party they'd had.
Akira paired together socks for a while, folding everything neatly and putting it in the basket before bringing it to their room and putting it away. Hikaru had left his sleep shirt on the floor, and a crumpled up business card for a go salon that had opened recently in one of the seedier parts of town. Akira picked them up and put the room to rights and decided to see about food.
There was a note on the table about food in the refrigerator. Akira took a glance in, saw that it was cold stir fry and rice, and sighed. It wasn't quite what he was in the mood for. He put another bottle of the wine, which was leftover from the party, into the refrigerator and left the apartment, making sure he had money and the key with him.
It only took a few minutes to get to the convenience store. Akira looked around in the freezer cases in the back, bypassing the bento boxes and looking at the onigiri, grabbing a few from the case. He also took a small tub of vanilla ice cream, and grabbed two cream breads, as well. He was in the mood for junk food, something that, against all odds, Hikaru didn't really try to bring into the house (unless ramen counted).
Just as he was starting to unlock the door to the apartment, his bag dangling from his arm, Waya came out of his own apartment. "Touya!"
Akira looked up. "Waya. Good evening."
Waya laughed. "Um... hi. You, uh... You guys have another party last night or something?"
Blushing fiercely, Akira finished opening the door and started to barge in. "Good night, Waya."
"No! Wait!" Waya grabbed his sleeve and Akira turned back. "C'mon... don't be like that." He smiled again. "I was going to head out on the town for the night, but... do you want to talk? I mean... we are neighbors," Waya finished weakly.
Akira smiled. "I was about to have a glass of wine. Would you care for one?"
Waya smiled. "Sure."
"Do you mind if I eat?"
"No, go ahead. Did Hikaru leave you something?"
Akira opened the refrigerator and removed the wine, gesturing to the stir fry and rice. "He left that. But I wanted something a little less good for me." He grabbed two glasses and set them on the table before setting to work on the cork of the wine bottle.
Waya smiled. "Mind if I have it? I don't eat healthy very often and my mother keeps calling about it."
"Only if you'll microwave it for yourself. I'm, er, not allowed near it anymore." Akira poured the wine and set the bottle on the table.
Waya quirked an eyebrow and let out a chuckle. "I'm sure that one day that would be a very funny story to hear, but you look like you have something else on your mind than not being able to use the microwave. I'll listen..."
Akira opened his food and took a bite of the first onigiri, noting that it was bland, but not unpleasant. "It's mostly about last night, actually."
Sticking the food in the microwave, Waya started it up and leaned back against the counter. "Did you have sex finally?"
It was several minutes before Akira could speak again. He had been momentarily occupied with choking on his onigiri. "I guess that we... sort of... had sex. It wasn't, er, all the way. But, it was a big step up from just kissing."
Waya opened the microwave, peeling back the plastic wrap on the bowl inside, and digging out a piece of broccoli to try. As he munched on it, he spoke. "Let me guess; he did all of the work, you couldn't bring yourself to do anything, and now you're not sure how you should go about doing such a thing."
Akira's eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Something like that. It had a bit more to do with the fact that I told him he could have 'more' if he got to the semi-finals of the Honinbou tournament... but then he got it anyway."
"It sounds to me like *you* got it. If you didn't do anything for him, then there's still your side of the bargain to hold up. He'll probably work just as hard to get to that as he would if you said you'd go all the way."
"You think?" Akira chewed thoughtfully on his second onigiri. "I just... I don't want him to lose the momentum for this tournament. I don't want to keep him from the title."
Waya searched through the drawers until he found a pair of chopsticks. He brought his food to the table and started eating. "Shouldn't you be worried about the title, yourself? Yeah, he beat you in one game of the prelims, but if things keep going like this, you'll have to play him again. Are you just going to let him win again?"
"I never let him win in the first place!" Touya slammed the rest of his onigiri onto the table, and then made a face as he began to clean it up. "If you saw the kifu for that game, or saw the game itself, you'll know he just went beyond me. For once, I couldn't keep up."
"You don't hate him for that, do you?"
Akira shook his head as he washed off his hands. "I haven't hated him since after the second time I played him." He sat down at the table and opened his ice cream. "Those first two games... Before he somehow reverted back to just a good player instead of a great one... I still remember every move, and how awful I felt when I talked to him later and he knew absolutely nothing about the game. He couldn't even hold the stones."
Waya looked curious. "Would you show me those games?"
Akira looked at him closely for a moment, then closed his ice cream and put it in the freezer again. "Yes. Come into the living room." Waya followed him in and sat on the far side of the two boards from Akira. While the couch and television hadn't been moved from the party, the third board had quickly made its way back to the bedroom.
Half an hour later, Waya was sitting, shaking his head. "There's no way."
"I thought so, too. I was playing against most of my father's pro friends with no handicap, and here comes this brash kid my age who is playing *shidougo* with me and not taking the komi into consideration." He laughed weakly. "It hurt, and I didn't know what to do even after I played him again." Akira gestured to the second board where he's recreated the other game. "But I respected him as a player after that."
"What happened after that?" Waya leaned forward toward Akira.
"I joined the Kaio go club just to play against him again. And he was... I can't say that he was awful. But he was nowhere near the level he'd been at. I was disappointed. And then I finally took the pro exam, and he became an insei."
Waya laughed. "So he was telling the truth."
Akira looked up from the board. "Hmm?"
"When Hikaru walked into the insei class, he was telling everyone that you considered him your rival. We all laughed about it, especially since he stayed at the bottom of the class for a while, but then he suddenly got a lot better... and fast... and we all started to wonder what had happened."
Akira was silent for a moment, but a smile spread across his face. "He just can't help it, can he? He has to be the center of attention."
Waya laughed. "That's Hikaru, all right."
"So, you think everything will be fine?" Akira's eyes were tinged with red.
"I think that as long as the two of you want to be together, you'll be together. I also think that even if you had sex tonight, he'd still try his hardest to get the Honinbou title. I don't know why, but that one always seemed to be his favorite... that and Meijin."
Akira looked up suddenly. "Has he told you about Sai?"
Waya shook his head. "No. Wait, what about Sai? Do you know something? Tell me!"
Akira laughed. "No. I only know that I played him. And I have my suspicions. I told Hikaru that telling me could wait until he had a title." He looked down at the board in front of him and placed another stone. "He knows something, I'm sure, but he's kept it a secret so far... Please, don't let on that I told you."
Nodding, Waya picked up the bowl that he'd carried in from the kitchen. "I'll keep it quiet." He stood up and stretched out his legs. "I sort of envy the two of you... your entire lives are nothing but go."
"That isn't something to be envied, Waya."
"No, I think it is. Sure, it's complicated, but on a go board you know exactly where you stand. I don't even know if I'm going to be able to scrape together rent for next month."
Akira tilted his head slightly and stood up as well. "Would you like a few more jobs?"
"If you're offering, sure! You get all of the good stuff."
"I think I'd like to have a few more days off with Hikaru. The Go Institute seems to have something against us having similar schedules."
"Do they know about your, uh, relationship?"
Akira took the bowl from Waya's hand and led the way back into the kitchen. "They know we live together. I don't know if they think we really hate each other, or if it's all just some cosmic accident, or if someone knows and is behind it all..." He smiled. "Right now, all I have are conspiracy theories, and they don't do any good."
Waya sat down at the table. "You're not so bad."
"Who said I was?"
Waya laughed. "When we were insei, no one was very fond of you just because you were so good."
"But you liked Hikaru."
"Yeah, well, at that time? He wasn't that good."
Akira smiled. "How about a game?"
Waya smiled in return. "That sounds great."
Just as they finished playing, Hikaru walked in. "Hey! Oh, Waya. Hey. What are you doing here?"
"Playing go with your boyfriend."
Hikaru blushed. "Why do you have to make that sound dirty?"
Waya stood up. "Well, I take it that's my cue to leave. Akira? Let me know about those jobs. And we should have another game! Hikaru? I'll see you later."
Hikaru stood, dumbstruck, by the door after Waya left. "That... was Waya, right?"
"Yeah. He came over for dinner. But, don't worry, we just talked and played go."
"Was he any good?"
Akira gestured to the board in front of him. "See for yourself."
Hikaru's attention was caught by the game on the other board. "You told him about our first game?"
"Yeah. Do you mind?"
"No. Not at all." He smiled and walked around, standing behind Akira and putting his hands on the other man's shoulders. "It's a nice memory."
Akira smiled. "I'm giving him the Amateur Tour job."
"That's... a big deal. Is it going to be okay?"
Akira looked up at him. "I'll make it okay."
Hikaru reached down and pulled Akira to his feet, spinning him around and kissing him. "You make everything okay."
Akira draped his arms around Hikaru's neck. "And you make me okay."
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Owari. ^_~
Author: Kimmie (tasukichiriko@hotmail.com)
Category: shonen ai
Pairings: AkiHika
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah. (Hotta and Obana, guys!)
Rating: PG.
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: None.
Notes: Part eleven of the "Impatience" arc... and I can't believe I still have ideas for it. Enjoy! (Find previous parts at Jumpy Boys.)
----------
Akira sat on the couch, the empty laundry basket at his feet. He had just dumped the contents onto the seat next to him; fresh from the laundromat. He started to fold.
Even doing laundry that morning had been different. He and Hikaru had intended to do it the night before, but certain things came up... like oral sex and speed go.
As he picked up a pair of Hikaru's boxers to fold, Akira blushed and made quick work of them. He hadn't explicitly stated what "more" he was promising Hikaru if the other man got to the semi-finals of the Honinbou tournament. It had simply been that: "more". But, last night had been "more", as well. It had been overwhelming, to Akira. Regardless of what Hikaru had said, it would change things.
It would change how Akira went about his morning routine because he might catch a glimpse himself in the foggy mirror after his shower and feel flustered. It would change how he would feel when he knew Hikaru was looking at him with lust evident in his expression. It would change they way they lived, the way they worked, and all because Akira had given in to the faintest glimmer of pull on his heart. He slammed the towel he'd just folded into the basket and stood up.
Hikaru was gone for the evening, attending a children's go event. Akira had intended to go, but backed out at the last minute; not really sure if he could keep his composure around Hikaru. But as he looked around the empty apartment, he knew he was being ridiculous. With no one else in sight, no noises coming from Hikaru still snoring lightly in the bedroom, or taking a shower in the bathroom, or making a mess in the kitchen for Akira to clean up... it was silent. Akira knew he could turn on the television, but it still hadn't been pulled out of the corner from the go party they'd had.
Akira paired together socks for a while, folding everything neatly and putting it in the basket before bringing it to their room and putting it away. Hikaru had left his sleep shirt on the floor, and a crumpled up business card for a go salon that had opened recently in one of the seedier parts of town. Akira picked them up and put the room to rights and decided to see about food.
There was a note on the table about food in the refrigerator. Akira took a glance in, saw that it was cold stir fry and rice, and sighed. It wasn't quite what he was in the mood for. He put another bottle of the wine, which was leftover from the party, into the refrigerator and left the apartment, making sure he had money and the key with him.
It only took a few minutes to get to the convenience store. Akira looked around in the freezer cases in the back, bypassing the bento boxes and looking at the onigiri, grabbing a few from the case. He also took a small tub of vanilla ice cream, and grabbed two cream breads, as well. He was in the mood for junk food, something that, against all odds, Hikaru didn't really try to bring into the house (unless ramen counted).
Just as he was starting to unlock the door to the apartment, his bag dangling from his arm, Waya came out of his own apartment. "Touya!"
Akira looked up. "Waya. Good evening."
Waya laughed. "Um... hi. You, uh... You guys have another party last night or something?"
Blushing fiercely, Akira finished opening the door and started to barge in. "Good night, Waya."
"No! Wait!" Waya grabbed his sleeve and Akira turned back. "C'mon... don't be like that." He smiled again. "I was going to head out on the town for the night, but... do you want to talk? I mean... we are neighbors," Waya finished weakly.
Akira smiled. "I was about to have a glass of wine. Would you care for one?"
Waya smiled. "Sure."
"Do you mind if I eat?"
"No, go ahead. Did Hikaru leave you something?"
Akira opened the refrigerator and removed the wine, gesturing to the stir fry and rice. "He left that. But I wanted something a little less good for me." He grabbed two glasses and set them on the table before setting to work on the cork of the wine bottle.
Waya smiled. "Mind if I have it? I don't eat healthy very often and my mother keeps calling about it."
"Only if you'll microwave it for yourself. I'm, er, not allowed near it anymore." Akira poured the wine and set the bottle on the table.
Waya quirked an eyebrow and let out a chuckle. "I'm sure that one day that would be a very funny story to hear, but you look like you have something else on your mind than not being able to use the microwave. I'll listen..."
Akira opened his food and took a bite of the first onigiri, noting that it was bland, but not unpleasant. "It's mostly about last night, actually."
Sticking the food in the microwave, Waya started it up and leaned back against the counter. "Did you have sex finally?"
It was several minutes before Akira could speak again. He had been momentarily occupied with choking on his onigiri. "I guess that we... sort of... had sex. It wasn't, er, all the way. But, it was a big step up from just kissing."
Waya opened the microwave, peeling back the plastic wrap on the bowl inside, and digging out a piece of broccoli to try. As he munched on it, he spoke. "Let me guess; he did all of the work, you couldn't bring yourself to do anything, and now you're not sure how you should go about doing such a thing."
Akira's eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Something like that. It had a bit more to do with the fact that I told him he could have 'more' if he got to the semi-finals of the Honinbou tournament... but then he got it anyway."
"It sounds to me like *you* got it. If you didn't do anything for him, then there's still your side of the bargain to hold up. He'll probably work just as hard to get to that as he would if you said you'd go all the way."
"You think?" Akira chewed thoughtfully on his second onigiri. "I just... I don't want him to lose the momentum for this tournament. I don't want to keep him from the title."
Waya searched through the drawers until he found a pair of chopsticks. He brought his food to the table and started eating. "Shouldn't you be worried about the title, yourself? Yeah, he beat you in one game of the prelims, but if things keep going like this, you'll have to play him again. Are you just going to let him win again?"
"I never let him win in the first place!" Touya slammed the rest of his onigiri onto the table, and then made a face as he began to clean it up. "If you saw the kifu for that game, or saw the game itself, you'll know he just went beyond me. For once, I couldn't keep up."
"You don't hate him for that, do you?"
Akira shook his head as he washed off his hands. "I haven't hated him since after the second time I played him." He sat down at the table and opened his ice cream. "Those first two games... Before he somehow reverted back to just a good player instead of a great one... I still remember every move, and how awful I felt when I talked to him later and he knew absolutely nothing about the game. He couldn't even hold the stones."
Waya looked curious. "Would you show me those games?"
Akira looked at him closely for a moment, then closed his ice cream and put it in the freezer again. "Yes. Come into the living room." Waya followed him in and sat on the far side of the two boards from Akira. While the couch and television hadn't been moved from the party, the third board had quickly made its way back to the bedroom.
Half an hour later, Waya was sitting, shaking his head. "There's no way."
"I thought so, too. I was playing against most of my father's pro friends with no handicap, and here comes this brash kid my age who is playing *shidougo* with me and not taking the komi into consideration." He laughed weakly. "It hurt, and I didn't know what to do even after I played him again." Akira gestured to the second board where he's recreated the other game. "But I respected him as a player after that."
"What happened after that?" Waya leaned forward toward Akira.
"I joined the Kaio go club just to play against him again. And he was... I can't say that he was awful. But he was nowhere near the level he'd been at. I was disappointed. And then I finally took the pro exam, and he became an insei."
Waya laughed. "So he was telling the truth."
Akira looked up from the board. "Hmm?"
"When Hikaru walked into the insei class, he was telling everyone that you considered him your rival. We all laughed about it, especially since he stayed at the bottom of the class for a while, but then he suddenly got a lot better... and fast... and we all started to wonder what had happened."
Akira was silent for a moment, but a smile spread across his face. "He just can't help it, can he? He has to be the center of attention."
Waya laughed. "That's Hikaru, all right."
"So, you think everything will be fine?" Akira's eyes were tinged with red.
"I think that as long as the two of you want to be together, you'll be together. I also think that even if you had sex tonight, he'd still try his hardest to get the Honinbou title. I don't know why, but that one always seemed to be his favorite... that and Meijin."
Akira looked up suddenly. "Has he told you about Sai?"
Waya shook his head. "No. Wait, what about Sai? Do you know something? Tell me!"
Akira laughed. "No. I only know that I played him. And I have my suspicions. I told Hikaru that telling me could wait until he had a title." He looked down at the board in front of him and placed another stone. "He knows something, I'm sure, but he's kept it a secret so far... Please, don't let on that I told you."
Nodding, Waya picked up the bowl that he'd carried in from the kitchen. "I'll keep it quiet." He stood up and stretched out his legs. "I sort of envy the two of you... your entire lives are nothing but go."
"That isn't something to be envied, Waya."
"No, I think it is. Sure, it's complicated, but on a go board you know exactly where you stand. I don't even know if I'm going to be able to scrape together rent for next month."
Akira tilted his head slightly and stood up as well. "Would you like a few more jobs?"
"If you're offering, sure! You get all of the good stuff."
"I think I'd like to have a few more days off with Hikaru. The Go Institute seems to have something against us having similar schedules."
"Do they know about your, uh, relationship?"
Akira took the bowl from Waya's hand and led the way back into the kitchen. "They know we live together. I don't know if they think we really hate each other, or if it's all just some cosmic accident, or if someone knows and is behind it all..." He smiled. "Right now, all I have are conspiracy theories, and they don't do any good."
Waya sat down at the table. "You're not so bad."
"Who said I was?"
Waya laughed. "When we were insei, no one was very fond of you just because you were so good."
"But you liked Hikaru."
"Yeah, well, at that time? He wasn't that good."
Akira smiled. "How about a game?"
Waya smiled in return. "That sounds great."
Just as they finished playing, Hikaru walked in. "Hey! Oh, Waya. Hey. What are you doing here?"
"Playing go with your boyfriend."
Hikaru blushed. "Why do you have to make that sound dirty?"
Waya stood up. "Well, I take it that's my cue to leave. Akira? Let me know about those jobs. And we should have another game! Hikaru? I'll see you later."
Hikaru stood, dumbstruck, by the door after Waya left. "That... was Waya, right?"
"Yeah. He came over for dinner. But, don't worry, we just talked and played go."
"Was he any good?"
Akira gestured to the board in front of him. "See for yourself."
Hikaru's attention was caught by the game on the other board. "You told him about our first game?"
"Yeah. Do you mind?"
"No. Not at all." He smiled and walked around, standing behind Akira and putting his hands on the other man's shoulders. "It's a nice memory."
Akira smiled. "I'm giving him the Amateur Tour job."
"That's... a big deal. Is it going to be okay?"
Akira looked up at him. "I'll make it okay."
Hikaru reached down and pulled Akira to his feet, spinning him around and kissing him. "You make everything okay."
Akira draped his arms around Hikaru's neck. "And you make me okay."
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Owari. ^_~