(no subject)

[hammbone]

its weird how non existant things become. its weird how life has become something im just living in and not really getting the meaning of it... im just kinda missing all my exits. not saying i have tog et off the road now but its like i dont even see myself anymore. i only say this because i see myself pick up these bad habbits without even taking a second glance back. i see my hand reaching for the goods but i dont really want to it just happons like a sixth sence so to speak.my emotions have become so meaningless and that just kills me more and more. i had this dream and i was wearing a yellow dress to work (pet store) and i got sent home because i smelled....like sweaty vagin. dont ask why  i have no clue why i had a weird dream like that but it just so happons my sister got this dream book for chirstmas and i looked up all the meanings of it. it said something along the lines that my concious was trying to tell me to make diffrent dissions than the ones im making in reality. it said that the yellow of the dress ment i have a motherly instinct about me and things are looking up and the cheer up. i dont know if its true. but it sure as fuck makes alot of sence. it said that im suck but not for long thats why i carry a stench with me. even people in my dreams can smell me out and relize that im no good. i hope theres a feature in this girl i hope i dont carry on with all the abuse i put myself thought. i pry for myself. and i dont bleave in god....dose that say something for you.

can i go now? may i be accused from this welfair of energy thats only put there by the corporate of my drug dealer/ boyfuck and whatever elce he maybe. can i have the power to say no ide rether be saine.