Be Mine
“No…please don’t go. I’m so sorry, Blaine….I didn’t mean for this to happen.” The boy was crying now. He tried not to laugh.
“But it did. And it’s all your fault. There’s nothing else to say, Derek. I have to go.” Blaine walked away from the boy, leaving him standing in the middle of his bedroom. “My parents are enrolling me in this retarded school for boys and you’ll never see me again. I have to live there, Derek. I have to live with other boys. Do you know what that means…?”
“Don’t say that. Blaine, no, please. Tell me we can still be together, please. I love you. Please. Promise me we’ll still be together.”
Blaine turned and looked at the boy. He was taller than Blaine and bigger too, but emotionally he was a weak, pathetic child who couldn’t tie his shoes or take a piss without Blaine’s approval. “No, Derek. I can’t do that. You let your mom find out about us. I kept your secret and I protected you and you threw that all away. Your mom told the principal and now they’ve kicked me out. They believe I’m the instigator in all this. They think I’m the bad guy, making you do things you didn’t want to do. How can I ever forgive you for that?”
“I didn’t mean to do it. I’m sorry. I’ll tell them the truth. I’ll tell them that it was me…it was all my idea, doing those things, beating up those kids. You had nothing to do with it. I’ll tell them that.” Derek was still sobbing uncontrollably. “Please, Blaine, please… tell me I can still be your pet….I’ll do anything.”
The larger boy was on his knees, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s legs, slobbering and crying like a fool. Blaine chuckled silently to himself. It was somewhat sad that their twisted little fling had to come to an end. But he certainly wasn’t torn up about it. He’d be settled in at Dalton soon. And he’d be searching out another insecure, closeted, brainless boy to be his toy.
His fun with Derek was definitely over. He couldn’t trust him now that the school mandated Derek see a therapist. The fact that Derek snuck into Blaine’s room despite the restraining order Derek’s parents put in place was risky enough.
But maybe…..Blaine smiled as he considered the idea. Once more for old time’s sake. It would most likely come out during one of the kid’s counseling sessions but Blaine would be long gone by then.
“Ok, Derek….” he answered softly. “Just one more time. And only because I know how much you like doing it.”
Derek began working the button and zipper on Blaine’s pants, more eager to please than ever before. Blaine closed his eyes and let the sensation wash over him. He’d miss this, of course. He was used to getting a blowjob whenever he wanted one. That’s the best part of having a well-trained pet.
He came hard and fast, trusting himself into the boy’s throat, his hands tightly gripping his hair. And just like that it was over.
Oh, well. On to the next.
Blaine came back to present-day, the trees in the courtyard coming into focusing as he stared out the window. He sighed and looked back down at his homework.
Kurt heard his sigh. “Economics getting to you too?” he chuckled.
“Yeah. I don’t even have to try in that class but the homework is just utterly redundant.”
“I wish I knew what your secret was.” Kurt’s eyes full of admiration. “I’m barely keeping my head above water here. These instructors are a whole new breed compared to McKinley.”
“We should go shopping tomorrow.” Blaine announced, changing the subject. “Would you like that, Kurt?”
“Yes.” Kurt dropped his pencil and sat upright, facing Blaine. “I would love that. I could use a couple new tops, maybe a pair of jeans if I can find a good sale.”
“Good. I’ll drive.” Blaine turned his attention back to his homework. It was almost Valentine’s Day and the ridiculously-decorated mall would be the perfect place to continue Kurt’s grooming.
He was almost ready. Just a little more persuasion. A little more influence. Blaine was certain that Kurt would make a very nice pet indeed.
But the grooming was the hardest part. It was tricky and it seemed to take forever. Unfortunately, Kurt still clung to that naïve notion that being different was a good thing. Damn him and his coddling father, Blaine thought to himself.
But that notion was slowly, painstakingly being removed. Replaced with the notion that he would and should do anything, say anything, change everything about himself to gain approval from Blaine. And to Kurt, approval meant love. Something he knew Kurt wanted more than anything.
Things had worked out better than he’d planned. When Kurt showed up at Dalton, in the silly attempt to spy, Blaine could tell he was definite pet material. So eager to please, so desperate for attention. And when Kurt confided that he had a bully….a jock bully, at that….it was obvious to Blaine that the meathead had a crush on Kurt.
“Push him. Don’t back down. Get in his face. Courage…” Seriously, Blaine thought, how stupid would Kurt have to be to take that advice? Thankfully, he was just stupid enough.
And then Kurt ran back to Blaine, confiding in him, telling him about the kiss in the locker room. And of course, Blaine had even more ridiculous advice to hand out. They would confront the dumb-ass. Publicly, with as many by-standers as possible. Blaine put on the “we’re only here to help you” show and hoped the panicked jock would start something. Meatheads only have one course of action when cornered and scared - violence.
Unfortunately, Karofsky didn’t take the bait. Blaine was expecting the jock to throw a punch. That would have been easier. That would have gotten him expelled and out of the way. But Karofsky had just walked away.
And that’s when Blaine saw the sympathy in Kurt’s eyes….sympathy for his own bully. That wouldn’t work. Kurt shouldn’t feel anything for this idiot except fear and loathing. Blaine set about terrifying Kurt with stories of bullying-gone-bad. Physical assault, attempted rapes and hospital stays. Anything to magnify the situation, exaggerating the reality of it until Kurt couldn’t think straight. He had Kurt convinced that Karofsky was a monster and the next time they were alone, something horrible would happen.
And it worked. Kurt was scared.
But then again, Karofsky was scared, too. And why wouldn’t he be. The thought of being outed in front of the whole school terrified him. Instead of cowering in shame, however, he stepped up the bullying. He threatened Kurt’s life, as hollow a threat as that was. With a few well-worded texts from Blaine, Kurt panicked and told his dad, his dad told the school and Kurt eventually transferred to Dalton.
And here he was. Blaine smiled as he looked across the room towards Kurt. He had him all to himself. Away from his father’s influence, away from his friends and away from his pathetic love-struck tormentor.
Blaine had even gotten rid of Kurt’s faghag.
Dear lord, was that chick annoying, Blaine mused. And faking the whole “aren’t I a chummy one” routine was a pain in the ass. But it was necessary. He was now certain Mercedes and Kurt only rarely texted each other. If Kurt needed an opinion or if Kurt wanted to share something, his first impulse now would be to come running to Blaine.
Blaine was impressed with himself for coming up with the Christmas song duet. Having Kurt sing the girl’s part of that retarded song was the perfect way to keep Kurt fawning over him. He could see the hope and longing in those innocent eyes. Blaine could tell how tight he had Kurt wrapped around his little finger.
And there was no way he’d let Kurt go back to see his old friends at McKinley alone. Finn’s football game was the perfect opportunity for Blaine to appear like the sweet and dedicated friend while keeping Kurt close. He kept on the look-out for the meathead Karofsky as well. No telling where that jock’s head was at. For all Blaine knew, he could be planning some sort of apology, hoping to get Kurt alone somewhere.
Well, that’s not going to happen.
And now they’ve arrived at the final phase in the pet-making process: changing Kurt’s wardrobe. Or rather, making him doubt it, hate it and finally change it himself. The simple choice of what to wear was such a huge thing to give up. And the Dalton uniform helped immensely. Kurt was already losing a large part of his individuality. But what he chose to wear after school and on weekends needed to change. Not that Blaine cared one way or another what Kurt wore. But Blaine had to have complete control.
So here they were, at the mall. Shopping. They looked over the directory and considered their options.
“Ooo. Forever 21. Let’s start there?” Kurt bubbled with excitement. “It’s far from designer-quality but they have some of the cutest clothes. And jewelry. I could use a new broach. Maybe a new scarf.”
“That’s a great idea, Kurt.” Blaine smiled broadly, “Let’s go.”
Blaine followed behind Kurt as he shopped. The stripped cardigan in the window caught Kurt’s eye first. But Blaine declared it to be the wrong color green. Then the t-shirt with an abstract print of the Eiffel Tower.
“Paris? Really? Isn’t that so last season?”
They milled around the store. Every one of Kurt’s suggestions was shot down by Blaine. But Kurt didn’t seem to notice. Since every time it was accompanied by Blaine’s smile, impossible “trust-me” eyes and a very legitimate-sounding reason why it wasn’t a good choice.
He’s so close, Blaine thought to himself.
“Well, there doesn’t seem to be anything decent to wear in this store.” Kurt said with quiet resignation. “I guess it’s changed since I was here last. Maybe just a scarf.” He headed towards the racks of scarves, perusing the options. He picked out one and held it up. “This is absolutely amazing, don’t you think so?”
“Yeah. I like it.” Blaine again plastered on his most genuine-looking smile. “It’d make a great gift. Who were you thinking of buying it for anyway?”
“A gift?” Kurt looked confused. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you weren’t actually thinking of buying that for yourself, were you? I mean, look at it.” Blaine turned, feigning interest in another rack of accessories.
Kurt looked at the scarf in his hands and back towards Blaine. He returned the scarf to the display and walked towards the jewelry.
Kurt was carefully examining the display of pins and broaches when Blaine rushed to his side.
“I can’t believe you just left me over there by myself. What’s wrong with you? Are you mad at me about something?”
“No.” Kurt’s eyes widened. “Not at all. I’m sorry, I…I didn’t mean to. I just, I was just tired of looking at those stupid scarves.”
“Oh look.” Blaine ignored Kurt’s apology. He picked up a gold broach with red and purple gemstones that Kurt’s hand was resting next to. “I think my mother has something like this. Atrocious, isn’t it?”
Kurt glanced down at the broach. He glanced over the entire display, suddenly wondering why he wanted to come into this store in the first place.
“Aren’t you lucky you have me here with you?” Blaine leaned in and nudged Kurt playfully with his shoulder. “I mean, really. What sort of appalling choices would you have made without me here to stop you?”
Kurt blinked. “Yeah, lucky.” His voice was small. He looked up at Blaine’s smile and mirrored it.
That’s right, Kurt, Blaine thought to himself, his pride in his new pet growing. Give it all up. You only need me and my opinions from now on. You’re so fucking close. You’ll be mine soon.
“I’m thirsty. How about some lattes?” Blaine asked rhetorically as they left the store. “There’s Starbucks.”
Blaine ordered his drink. A venti soy caramel latte, light whip. He turned to Kurt with a raised eyebrow. “Yes…?” he asked impatiently.
“Oh, sorry.” Kurt smiled at the barista and considered his order. “I’ll have a venti cinnamon dolce latte, extra whip.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Blaine snorted. “Are you trying to get fat?”
Kurt’s cheeks turned bright red. He blinked and stared at Blaine, dumb-struck.
“Well…?”
Kurt looked back at the barista, embarrassed. “I’m sorry. What was I thinking? Um, no whip, and uh, non-fat milk, please.”
“What were you thinking?” Blaine mumbled under his breath as he paid for the coffees.
They sat in silence, sipping their drinks. Kurt’s eyebrows were knitted together and he seemed deep in thought. Blaine knew what he was doing, though. His timing was perfect. He knew he wouldn’t let Kurt stew too long. Kurt had to be left alone to feel bad but he shouldn’t be allowed enough time to figure out why exactly. Thankfully, Kurt was easily distracted.
“Well, lucky for you, I just thought of a store where we can find something you will like.” Blaine stood and walked out into the corridor, Kurt on his heels.
He follows me around like a little puppy, Blaine chuckled silently. Like my perfect little pet.
They walked along in silence, drinking their coffees until they reached The Gap. “Here.” Blaine gestured towards the store entrance. “We’ll find you something appropriate in here.”
“The Gap?” Kurt asked, confused. “I don’t think I’ve ever bought anything from here. Mercedes and Tina called it ‘clone clothing….’” he remembered with a smile.
“Well Mercedes isn’t here, is she? And that goth chic? Did you ever seriously take her fashion advice?” Blaine bristled. “I mean, really, Kurt. If you want me to leave you alone to do your shopping, I will. If you don’t appreciate my opinions and what I’m trying to do for you….then…” he let his voice trail off as he took a few steps and chucked his half-empty coffee in the trash.
“No, no. I’m sorry.” Kurt pleaded. “I want you here. I do. They had some strange ideas about fashion. I mean, seriously, those two…!” he chuckled nervously, rolling his eyes. “Don’t leave. Me trying to shop alone would be a disaster.” Kurt waited anxiously for Blaine to relax his angry, furrowed brow. “Don’t be mad. Let’s go inside. I really need your opinion.”
Good boy, Kurt, Blaine thought as he followed Kurt into the store. Put down your old friends to get my approval.
Blaine stopped at a rack of jeans. “God, I can’t stand all these skinny leg styles. I mean, honestly. How insecure do you have to be to wear this stuff?”
Kurt didn’t answer. He only looked down at his own jeans. Skinny leg. Was he insecure? He never realized until that moment just how much.
Blaine found a rack of loose fit khaki pants and handed Kurt a few pairs to try on. Also a pair of relaxed fit carpenter jeans. “These will probably look good on you.” Blaine smiled brightly. “Now, shirts. I love their selection of rugby polos, don’t you?”
In a few short minutes Kurt’s arms were overflowing with clothes and he was heading towards the dressing room. The clothing was plain. Only a few stripes or madras prints here or there. But with each outfit that he modeled, Blaine’s approval was apparent. And Kurt ate it up.
Oh Kurt, you’re so close, Blaine thought, lost in his musings. Just a little bit longer and you’ll be mine. I’ll make some dramatic romantic gesture, something to do with Valentine’s Day and you’ll completely fall for it. I’ll profess my love for you, say something ridiculously juvenile and you’ll believe me. I’ll reward you with the slightest bit of affection. And then you’ll give yourself to me….to torment and entertain myself with.
Honestly, he chuckled to himself, it’s been too long since I’ve had a decent blowjob.
Kurt walked out of the dressing room, his arms full of the new Blaine-approved wardrobe. Blaine was standing against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. “Well, that took forever. I have to piss. Take your new clothes to the checkout and meet me at the bathroom. Try not to get lost.” Blaine walked out of the store, leaving Kurt stunned, realizing he was expected to pay for his new clothes as well.
$272 later, Kurt was walking out of the store, bags in hand, wondering how he’d be able to justify spending that much to his dad….when suddenly he panicked. He had no idea which way Blaine had turned. They were dead-center in the mall and there were bathrooms at either end of the wing. Balancing his bags in one hand he reached for his cellphone.
No service. His heart began to beat rapidly. ‘Try not to get lost…’ those were Blaine’s last words. Kurt knew he’d be angry at him for making him wait. He looked down one corridor and then the other, frantically searching for some clue. He started walking, hoping that his cell would pick up service along the way.
He reached the end of the wing where the hall splits into Nordstrom’s and the food court. Still no service. He was panicked but he knew the bathrooms were just around the corner in the food court. Walking as fast as he could, eyes glued to his screen, he looked up too late to avoid running into a massive frame standing up from an eatery table.
“What the fuck!” shouted a boy’s voice as soda splashed down his pants leg.
Kurt looked up to see Dave Karofsky reaching for napkins off the table and frantically wiping his leg off.
“I’m…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” Kurt’s voice only a whisper. There was no chance Kurt would get beaten up in a crowded mall food court, was there?
Dave looked up from his attempts at drying his jeans to see the boy who’d ran into him.
“Hummel?”
Kurt was frozen. He couldn’t breathe. Terror gripped him and his throat went dry. “I, um…I…have to go.” he barely squeaked out, walking past Dave and bee-lining it for the restrooms. He had to find Blaine. He’d wasted enough time already. He reached the small hallway leading to the restrooms.
“Wait, Kurt…” Dave shouted after him. “Hold up.”
Kurt whirled around, shocked. Why was Dave Karofsky walking towards him? He saw Dave’s eyes glance towards a group of guys walking away from the food court. His friends, apparently, Kurt thought. At least he wasn’t calling them back so they could all beat him up, angry-mob style.
He reached Kurt, still frozen where he stood. Kurt flinched as Dave took a step closer. “You dropped this.” Dave opened his hand. “You dropped your phone.” His eyes were soft. He wasn’t smiling but he wasn’t seething either.
“Oh, right.” Kurt blinked and reached for the phone. The bag in his hand dropped to the floor. He juggled the other bags, slipped his phone into his pocket and scrambled to pick up the bag. “Damn these stupid….”
“Here, let me help.” Dave leaned down at the same time, and they slammed their heads together with enough force to knock them both backwards. “Fuck!” Dave yelped.
“Oow shit!” Kurt exclaimed, dropping all the bags and placing his hands over the top of his head.
An amused smile spread across Dave’s face, “Are you ok? I’m so sorry.”
“I think so.” Kurt answered, dazed. “That’s gonna leave a bump.”
Dave chuckled, suddenly amused.
“Why are you laughing?” Kurt heard himself ask.
“Just thought it was ironic. You looked so scared just then. I was about to tell you I wasn’t gonna hurt you.” Dave chuckled nervously. “And then I did.”
Kurt was still rubbing his sore head. He felt himself relax slightly. “Yeah. You did. That fucking hurt.” A small smile crept across his face.
“I’m really sorry, Kurt.” Dave’s eyes held onto Kurt’s for a moment and then dropped to the floor.
“Um, well, ok.” Suddenly, Kurt wasn’t sure what Dave was apologizing for. “Uh, I really have to go.” He began picking up the bags.
“Here.” Dave handed him the last one.
“Thanks. Um, bye.”
Kurt turned and walked towards the men’s restroom. It was empty. He chose the wrong direction. Fuck, he thought, panicking again. Now he was going to be in trouble. He began mentally wording his apology to Blaine. Turning the wrong way, losing cell signal, running into someone - literally, dropping his phone, his bags….
He caught his reflection in the bathroom mirror. For a second he didn’t recognize the scared little boy looking back at him. He studied his face, relaxing it and tilting his head slightly.
Trouble? Why exactly am I going to be in trouble? Blaine walked away from me.
He turned slowly and walked out of the bathroom, looking down at the bags in his hands. He suddenly couldn’t remember wanting a new wardrobe.
He saw Karofsky across the food court still wiping at his pants. They locked eyes. Since when did Karofsky smile like that, he wondered as he watched him walk away. He caught up to his friends as they rounded the corner.
Kurt jumped suddenly when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. That would be Blaine. Angry and impatient. Demanding to know where he was and why he was kept waiting.
But Kurt didn’t reach for his pocket. Since when do I jump when Blaine calls, he asked himself. He stood there, dazed and confused for a moment. He looked down again at the bags in his hands. I don’t want these clothes. I did want that striped green cardigan though. And I definitely did not want a non-fat, no whip latte.
What’s going on? What happened to me?
Kurt collapsed into a nearby chair, letting his bags fall around him and his phone continue to vibrate. He tried to think back to the beginning. There had to be a beginning. It was blurry, hazy, but he tried. How long has it been? He tried to remember the first time. The first time he did something he didn’t want to do, and didn’t realize it.
Blaine was there. Every memory, Blaine. Encouraging him, persuading him. Praising him. But why would Blaine encourage him to buy new clothes? Clothes he didn’t want.
And did Blaine actually snap at him about getting fat when they were at Starbucks?
It was just so absolutely confusing. How was Blaine actually able to make him doubt himself? And why would Blaine convince him that Karofsky was a terrifying monster when obviously, just now, he could see there was a chance that he wasn’t?
Kurt reached his hand to the sore spot on top of his head. There was already a bump growing. He hit his head pretty hard. But maybe that’s exactly what he needed. Kurt pulled his phone from his pocket and looked at the screen. Six text messages and two missed calls. All Blaine.
As long as he could remember he’s been bullied, teased and harassed for being different. For being small or girly or gay. But he never wanted to change. He never wanted to stop being himself. What kind of twisted logic would make him want to change now?
Was it possible that Blaine was in fact, bullying him in worse ways that he had ever experienced before?
He focused his eyes on the advertisement on the wall in front of him. Large hearts in pink and red. A young girl clutching a teddy bear. “Be Mine” was the simple print across the top.
No. I don’t want to, Kurt thought to himself.
He looked back at the phone vibrating in his hand. He waited. It stopped. He dialed and held his breath.
“Mercedes. It’s me. I really need to talk….”
“But it did. And it’s all your fault. There’s nothing else to say, Derek. I have to go.” Blaine walked away from the boy, leaving him standing in the middle of his bedroom. “My parents are enrolling me in this retarded school for boys and you’ll never see me again. I have to live there, Derek. I have to live with other boys. Do you know what that means…?”
“Don’t say that. Blaine, no, please. Tell me we can still be together, please. I love you. Please. Promise me we’ll still be together.”
Blaine turned and looked at the boy. He was taller than Blaine and bigger too, but emotionally he was a weak, pathetic child who couldn’t tie his shoes or take a piss without Blaine’s approval. “No, Derek. I can’t do that. You let your mom find out about us. I kept your secret and I protected you and you threw that all away. Your mom told the principal and now they’ve kicked me out. They believe I’m the instigator in all this. They think I’m the bad guy, making you do things you didn’t want to do. How can I ever forgive you for that?”
“I didn’t mean to do it. I’m sorry. I’ll tell them the truth. I’ll tell them that it was me…it was all my idea, doing those things, beating up those kids. You had nothing to do with it. I’ll tell them that.” Derek was still sobbing uncontrollably. “Please, Blaine, please… tell me I can still be your pet….I’ll do anything.”
The larger boy was on his knees, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s legs, slobbering and crying like a fool. Blaine chuckled silently to himself. It was somewhat sad that their twisted little fling had to come to an end. But he certainly wasn’t torn up about it. He’d be settled in at Dalton soon. And he’d be searching out another insecure, closeted, brainless boy to be his toy.
His fun with Derek was definitely over. He couldn’t trust him now that the school mandated Derek see a therapist. The fact that Derek snuck into Blaine’s room despite the restraining order Derek’s parents put in place was risky enough.
But maybe…..Blaine smiled as he considered the idea. Once more for old time’s sake. It would most likely come out during one of the kid’s counseling sessions but Blaine would be long gone by then.
“Ok, Derek….” he answered softly. “Just one more time. And only because I know how much you like doing it.”
Derek began working the button and zipper on Blaine’s pants, more eager to please than ever before. Blaine closed his eyes and let the sensation wash over him. He’d miss this, of course. He was used to getting a blowjob whenever he wanted one. That’s the best part of having a well-trained pet.
He came hard and fast, trusting himself into the boy’s throat, his hands tightly gripping his hair. And just like that it was over.
Oh, well. On to the next.
Blaine came back to present-day, the trees in the courtyard coming into focusing as he stared out the window. He sighed and looked back down at his homework.
Kurt heard his sigh. “Economics getting to you too?” he chuckled.
“Yeah. I don’t even have to try in that class but the homework is just utterly redundant.”
“I wish I knew what your secret was.” Kurt’s eyes full of admiration. “I’m barely keeping my head above water here. These instructors are a whole new breed compared to McKinley.”
“We should go shopping tomorrow.” Blaine announced, changing the subject. “Would you like that, Kurt?”
“Yes.” Kurt dropped his pencil and sat upright, facing Blaine. “I would love that. I could use a couple new tops, maybe a pair of jeans if I can find a good sale.”
“Good. I’ll drive.” Blaine turned his attention back to his homework. It was almost Valentine’s Day and the ridiculously-decorated mall would be the perfect place to continue Kurt’s grooming.
He was almost ready. Just a little more persuasion. A little more influence. Blaine was certain that Kurt would make a very nice pet indeed.
But the grooming was the hardest part. It was tricky and it seemed to take forever. Unfortunately, Kurt still clung to that naïve notion that being different was a good thing. Damn him and his coddling father, Blaine thought to himself.
But that notion was slowly, painstakingly being removed. Replaced with the notion that he would and should do anything, say anything, change everything about himself to gain approval from Blaine. And to Kurt, approval meant love. Something he knew Kurt wanted more than anything.
Things had worked out better than he’d planned. When Kurt showed up at Dalton, in the silly attempt to spy, Blaine could tell he was definite pet material. So eager to please, so desperate for attention. And when Kurt confided that he had a bully….a jock bully, at that….it was obvious to Blaine that the meathead had a crush on Kurt.
“Push him. Don’t back down. Get in his face. Courage…” Seriously, Blaine thought, how stupid would Kurt have to be to take that advice? Thankfully, he was just stupid enough.
And then Kurt ran back to Blaine, confiding in him, telling him about the kiss in the locker room. And of course, Blaine had even more ridiculous advice to hand out. They would confront the dumb-ass. Publicly, with as many by-standers as possible. Blaine put on the “we’re only here to help you” show and hoped the panicked jock would start something. Meatheads only have one course of action when cornered and scared - violence.
Unfortunately, Karofsky didn’t take the bait. Blaine was expecting the jock to throw a punch. That would have been easier. That would have gotten him expelled and out of the way. But Karofsky had just walked away.
And that’s when Blaine saw the sympathy in Kurt’s eyes….sympathy for his own bully. That wouldn’t work. Kurt shouldn’t feel anything for this idiot except fear and loathing. Blaine set about terrifying Kurt with stories of bullying-gone-bad. Physical assault, attempted rapes and hospital stays. Anything to magnify the situation, exaggerating the reality of it until Kurt couldn’t think straight. He had Kurt convinced that Karofsky was a monster and the next time they were alone, something horrible would happen.
And it worked. Kurt was scared.
But then again, Karofsky was scared, too. And why wouldn’t he be. The thought of being outed in front of the whole school terrified him. Instead of cowering in shame, however, he stepped up the bullying. He threatened Kurt’s life, as hollow a threat as that was. With a few well-worded texts from Blaine, Kurt panicked and told his dad, his dad told the school and Kurt eventually transferred to Dalton.
And here he was. Blaine smiled as he looked across the room towards Kurt. He had him all to himself. Away from his father’s influence, away from his friends and away from his pathetic love-struck tormentor.
Blaine had even gotten rid of Kurt’s faghag.
Dear lord, was that chick annoying, Blaine mused. And faking the whole “aren’t I a chummy one” routine was a pain in the ass. But it was necessary. He was now certain Mercedes and Kurt only rarely texted each other. If Kurt needed an opinion or if Kurt wanted to share something, his first impulse now would be to come running to Blaine.
Blaine was impressed with himself for coming up with the Christmas song duet. Having Kurt sing the girl’s part of that retarded song was the perfect way to keep Kurt fawning over him. He could see the hope and longing in those innocent eyes. Blaine could tell how tight he had Kurt wrapped around his little finger.
And there was no way he’d let Kurt go back to see his old friends at McKinley alone. Finn’s football game was the perfect opportunity for Blaine to appear like the sweet and dedicated friend while keeping Kurt close. He kept on the look-out for the meathead Karofsky as well. No telling where that jock’s head was at. For all Blaine knew, he could be planning some sort of apology, hoping to get Kurt alone somewhere.
Well, that’s not going to happen.
And now they’ve arrived at the final phase in the pet-making process: changing Kurt’s wardrobe. Or rather, making him doubt it, hate it and finally change it himself. The simple choice of what to wear was such a huge thing to give up. And the Dalton uniform helped immensely. Kurt was already losing a large part of his individuality. But what he chose to wear after school and on weekends needed to change. Not that Blaine cared one way or another what Kurt wore. But Blaine had to have complete control.
So here they were, at the mall. Shopping. They looked over the directory and considered their options.
“Ooo. Forever 21. Let’s start there?” Kurt bubbled with excitement. “It’s far from designer-quality but they have some of the cutest clothes. And jewelry. I could use a new broach. Maybe a new scarf.”
“That’s a great idea, Kurt.” Blaine smiled broadly, “Let’s go.”
Blaine followed behind Kurt as he shopped. The stripped cardigan in the window caught Kurt’s eye first. But Blaine declared it to be the wrong color green. Then the t-shirt with an abstract print of the Eiffel Tower.
“Paris? Really? Isn’t that so last season?”
They milled around the store. Every one of Kurt’s suggestions was shot down by Blaine. But Kurt didn’t seem to notice. Since every time it was accompanied by Blaine’s smile, impossible “trust-me” eyes and a very legitimate-sounding reason why it wasn’t a good choice.
He’s so close, Blaine thought to himself.
“Well, there doesn’t seem to be anything decent to wear in this store.” Kurt said with quiet resignation. “I guess it’s changed since I was here last. Maybe just a scarf.” He headed towards the racks of scarves, perusing the options. He picked out one and held it up. “This is absolutely amazing, don’t you think so?”
“Yeah. I like it.” Blaine again plastered on his most genuine-looking smile. “It’d make a great gift. Who were you thinking of buying it for anyway?”
“A gift?” Kurt looked confused. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you weren’t actually thinking of buying that for yourself, were you? I mean, look at it.” Blaine turned, feigning interest in another rack of accessories.
Kurt looked at the scarf in his hands and back towards Blaine. He returned the scarf to the display and walked towards the jewelry.
Kurt was carefully examining the display of pins and broaches when Blaine rushed to his side.
“I can’t believe you just left me over there by myself. What’s wrong with you? Are you mad at me about something?”
“No.” Kurt’s eyes widened. “Not at all. I’m sorry, I…I didn’t mean to. I just, I was just tired of looking at those stupid scarves.”
“Oh look.” Blaine ignored Kurt’s apology. He picked up a gold broach with red and purple gemstones that Kurt’s hand was resting next to. “I think my mother has something like this. Atrocious, isn’t it?”
Kurt glanced down at the broach. He glanced over the entire display, suddenly wondering why he wanted to come into this store in the first place.
“Aren’t you lucky you have me here with you?” Blaine leaned in and nudged Kurt playfully with his shoulder. “I mean, really. What sort of appalling choices would you have made without me here to stop you?”
Kurt blinked. “Yeah, lucky.” His voice was small. He looked up at Blaine’s smile and mirrored it.
That’s right, Kurt, Blaine thought to himself, his pride in his new pet growing. Give it all up. You only need me and my opinions from now on. You’re so fucking close. You’ll be mine soon.
“I’m thirsty. How about some lattes?” Blaine asked rhetorically as they left the store. “There’s Starbucks.”
Blaine ordered his drink. A venti soy caramel latte, light whip. He turned to Kurt with a raised eyebrow. “Yes…?” he asked impatiently.
“Oh, sorry.” Kurt smiled at the barista and considered his order. “I’ll have a venti cinnamon dolce latte, extra whip.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Blaine snorted. “Are you trying to get fat?”
Kurt’s cheeks turned bright red. He blinked and stared at Blaine, dumb-struck.
“Well…?”
Kurt looked back at the barista, embarrassed. “I’m sorry. What was I thinking? Um, no whip, and uh, non-fat milk, please.”
“What were you thinking?” Blaine mumbled under his breath as he paid for the coffees.
They sat in silence, sipping their drinks. Kurt’s eyebrows were knitted together and he seemed deep in thought. Blaine knew what he was doing, though. His timing was perfect. He knew he wouldn’t let Kurt stew too long. Kurt had to be left alone to feel bad but he shouldn’t be allowed enough time to figure out why exactly. Thankfully, Kurt was easily distracted.
“Well, lucky for you, I just thought of a store where we can find something you will like.” Blaine stood and walked out into the corridor, Kurt on his heels.
He follows me around like a little puppy, Blaine chuckled silently. Like my perfect little pet.
They walked along in silence, drinking their coffees until they reached The Gap. “Here.” Blaine gestured towards the store entrance. “We’ll find you something appropriate in here.”
“The Gap?” Kurt asked, confused. “I don’t think I’ve ever bought anything from here. Mercedes and Tina called it ‘clone clothing….’” he remembered with a smile.
“Well Mercedes isn’t here, is she? And that goth chic? Did you ever seriously take her fashion advice?” Blaine bristled. “I mean, really, Kurt. If you want me to leave you alone to do your shopping, I will. If you don’t appreciate my opinions and what I’m trying to do for you….then…” he let his voice trail off as he took a few steps and chucked his half-empty coffee in the trash.
“No, no. I’m sorry.” Kurt pleaded. “I want you here. I do. They had some strange ideas about fashion. I mean, seriously, those two…!” he chuckled nervously, rolling his eyes. “Don’t leave. Me trying to shop alone would be a disaster.” Kurt waited anxiously for Blaine to relax his angry, furrowed brow. “Don’t be mad. Let’s go inside. I really need your opinion.”
Good boy, Kurt, Blaine thought as he followed Kurt into the store. Put down your old friends to get my approval.
Blaine stopped at a rack of jeans. “God, I can’t stand all these skinny leg styles. I mean, honestly. How insecure do you have to be to wear this stuff?”
Kurt didn’t answer. He only looked down at his own jeans. Skinny leg. Was he insecure? He never realized until that moment just how much.
Blaine found a rack of loose fit khaki pants and handed Kurt a few pairs to try on. Also a pair of relaxed fit carpenter jeans. “These will probably look good on you.” Blaine smiled brightly. “Now, shirts. I love their selection of rugby polos, don’t you?”
In a few short minutes Kurt’s arms were overflowing with clothes and he was heading towards the dressing room. The clothing was plain. Only a few stripes or madras prints here or there. But with each outfit that he modeled, Blaine’s approval was apparent. And Kurt ate it up.
Oh Kurt, you’re so close, Blaine thought, lost in his musings. Just a little bit longer and you’ll be mine. I’ll make some dramatic romantic gesture, something to do with Valentine’s Day and you’ll completely fall for it. I’ll profess my love for you, say something ridiculously juvenile and you’ll believe me. I’ll reward you with the slightest bit of affection. And then you’ll give yourself to me….to torment and entertain myself with.
Honestly, he chuckled to himself, it’s been too long since I’ve had a decent blowjob.
Kurt walked out of the dressing room, his arms full of the new Blaine-approved wardrobe. Blaine was standing against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. “Well, that took forever. I have to piss. Take your new clothes to the checkout and meet me at the bathroom. Try not to get lost.” Blaine walked out of the store, leaving Kurt stunned, realizing he was expected to pay for his new clothes as well.
$272 later, Kurt was walking out of the store, bags in hand, wondering how he’d be able to justify spending that much to his dad….when suddenly he panicked. He had no idea which way Blaine had turned. They were dead-center in the mall and there were bathrooms at either end of the wing. Balancing his bags in one hand he reached for his cellphone.
No service. His heart began to beat rapidly. ‘Try not to get lost…’ those were Blaine’s last words. Kurt knew he’d be angry at him for making him wait. He looked down one corridor and then the other, frantically searching for some clue. He started walking, hoping that his cell would pick up service along the way.
He reached the end of the wing where the hall splits into Nordstrom’s and the food court. Still no service. He was panicked but he knew the bathrooms were just around the corner in the food court. Walking as fast as he could, eyes glued to his screen, he looked up too late to avoid running into a massive frame standing up from an eatery table.
“What the fuck!” shouted a boy’s voice as soda splashed down his pants leg.
Kurt looked up to see Dave Karofsky reaching for napkins off the table and frantically wiping his leg off.
“I’m…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” Kurt’s voice only a whisper. There was no chance Kurt would get beaten up in a crowded mall food court, was there?
Dave looked up from his attempts at drying his jeans to see the boy who’d ran into him.
“Hummel?”
Kurt was frozen. He couldn’t breathe. Terror gripped him and his throat went dry. “I, um…I…have to go.” he barely squeaked out, walking past Dave and bee-lining it for the restrooms. He had to find Blaine. He’d wasted enough time already. He reached the small hallway leading to the restrooms.
“Wait, Kurt…” Dave shouted after him. “Hold up.”
Kurt whirled around, shocked. Why was Dave Karofsky walking towards him? He saw Dave’s eyes glance towards a group of guys walking away from the food court. His friends, apparently, Kurt thought. At least he wasn’t calling them back so they could all beat him up, angry-mob style.
He reached Kurt, still frozen where he stood. Kurt flinched as Dave took a step closer. “You dropped this.” Dave opened his hand. “You dropped your phone.” His eyes were soft. He wasn’t smiling but he wasn’t seething either.
“Oh, right.” Kurt blinked and reached for the phone. The bag in his hand dropped to the floor. He juggled the other bags, slipped his phone into his pocket and scrambled to pick up the bag. “Damn these stupid….”
“Here, let me help.” Dave leaned down at the same time, and they slammed their heads together with enough force to knock them both backwards. “Fuck!” Dave yelped.
“Oow shit!” Kurt exclaimed, dropping all the bags and placing his hands over the top of his head.
An amused smile spread across Dave’s face, “Are you ok? I’m so sorry.”
“I think so.” Kurt answered, dazed. “That’s gonna leave a bump.”
Dave chuckled, suddenly amused.
“Why are you laughing?” Kurt heard himself ask.
“Just thought it was ironic. You looked so scared just then. I was about to tell you I wasn’t gonna hurt you.” Dave chuckled nervously. “And then I did.”
Kurt was still rubbing his sore head. He felt himself relax slightly. “Yeah. You did. That fucking hurt.” A small smile crept across his face.
“I’m really sorry, Kurt.” Dave’s eyes held onto Kurt’s for a moment and then dropped to the floor.
“Um, well, ok.” Suddenly, Kurt wasn’t sure what Dave was apologizing for. “Uh, I really have to go.” He began picking up the bags.
“Here.” Dave handed him the last one.
“Thanks. Um, bye.”
Kurt turned and walked towards the men’s restroom. It was empty. He chose the wrong direction. Fuck, he thought, panicking again. Now he was going to be in trouble. He began mentally wording his apology to Blaine. Turning the wrong way, losing cell signal, running into someone - literally, dropping his phone, his bags….
He caught his reflection in the bathroom mirror. For a second he didn’t recognize the scared little boy looking back at him. He studied his face, relaxing it and tilting his head slightly.
Trouble? Why exactly am I going to be in trouble? Blaine walked away from me.
He turned slowly and walked out of the bathroom, looking down at the bags in his hands. He suddenly couldn’t remember wanting a new wardrobe.
He saw Karofsky across the food court still wiping at his pants. They locked eyes. Since when did Karofsky smile like that, he wondered as he watched him walk away. He caught up to his friends as they rounded the corner.
Kurt jumped suddenly when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. That would be Blaine. Angry and impatient. Demanding to know where he was and why he was kept waiting.
But Kurt didn’t reach for his pocket. Since when do I jump when Blaine calls, he asked himself. He stood there, dazed and confused for a moment. He looked down again at the bags in his hands. I don’t want these clothes. I did want that striped green cardigan though. And I definitely did not want a non-fat, no whip latte.
What’s going on? What happened to me?
Kurt collapsed into a nearby chair, letting his bags fall around him and his phone continue to vibrate. He tried to think back to the beginning. There had to be a beginning. It was blurry, hazy, but he tried. How long has it been? He tried to remember the first time. The first time he did something he didn’t want to do, and didn’t realize it.
Blaine was there. Every memory, Blaine. Encouraging him, persuading him. Praising him. But why would Blaine encourage him to buy new clothes? Clothes he didn’t want.
And did Blaine actually snap at him about getting fat when they were at Starbucks?
It was just so absolutely confusing. How was Blaine actually able to make him doubt himself? And why would Blaine convince him that Karofsky was a terrifying monster when obviously, just now, he could see there was a chance that he wasn’t?
Kurt reached his hand to the sore spot on top of his head. There was already a bump growing. He hit his head pretty hard. But maybe that’s exactly what he needed. Kurt pulled his phone from his pocket and looked at the screen. Six text messages and two missed calls. All Blaine.
As long as he could remember he’s been bullied, teased and harassed for being different. For being small or girly or gay. But he never wanted to change. He never wanted to stop being himself. What kind of twisted logic would make him want to change now?
Was it possible that Blaine was in fact, bullying him in worse ways that he had ever experienced before?
He focused his eyes on the advertisement on the wall in front of him. Large hearts in pink and red. A young girl clutching a teddy bear. “Be Mine” was the simple print across the top.
No. I don’t want to, Kurt thought to himself.
He looked back at the phone vibrating in his hand. He waited. It stopped. He dialed and held his breath.
“Mercedes. It’s me. I really need to talk….”