free game
so tonight things don't seem so dismal. i daresay life appears almost rosey.
i had another visit to yet another ER ... this time the Sutter General ... can't wait to get the bill for that one!
all in all i am simply not ready emotionally for law school. i knew all along that i wanted the experience of working in a law firm environment to be sure if this career is for me. i know now that i would probably make a very good lawyer, but there are some psychological issues that remain to be sorted out first.
for starters, in regards to my unresolved sexual problems, do i suffer from a psychiatric or physical disability? whichever, it is emotionally taxing. many professionals, starting with my dad, have weighed in on the psychiatric side of the debate. i am still holding out for physical, however, with possible minor psychiatric complications. conversation with the ER psych nurse practitioner i spoke with tonight reinforces my viewpoint.
to wit: drugs like prozac work on primitive brain formations like the amygdala, which i believe helps govern sex drive. while we do not know what "causes" sexual orientation, it seems fairly clear that it is a complex phenomenon arising at least partially from both biological and environmental factors. so it appears that one's sexual preference is more of a higher brain function, rather than a simple urge to conjugate or even procreate (many gay men and lesbians are now conspicuous for their desire and decision to become parents). so while SSRI's may dampen sexual feelings they are not reputed to alter desire (or desire for offspring). it seems then that medicating me as an adolescent probably affected neither my sexual orientation nor the gender assignment of my adult self (as it was promised to do by the prescribing physician) but simply the primal pattern of my sexual response, i.e., it is difficult for me to have an orgasm unless the sexual venue is one of great intensity or even risk to self.
which is what i have been trying to tell everyone for almost eight months now.
i had another visit to yet another ER ... this time the Sutter General ... can't wait to get the bill for that one!
all in all i am simply not ready emotionally for law school. i knew all along that i wanted the experience of working in a law firm environment to be sure if this career is for me. i know now that i would probably make a very good lawyer, but there are some psychological issues that remain to be sorted out first.
for starters, in regards to my unresolved sexual problems, do i suffer from a psychiatric or physical disability? whichever, it is emotionally taxing. many professionals, starting with my dad, have weighed in on the psychiatric side of the debate. i am still holding out for physical, however, with possible minor psychiatric complications. conversation with the ER psych nurse practitioner i spoke with tonight reinforces my viewpoint.
to wit: drugs like prozac work on primitive brain formations like the amygdala, which i believe helps govern sex drive. while we do not know what "causes" sexual orientation, it seems fairly clear that it is a complex phenomenon arising at least partially from both biological and environmental factors. so it appears that one's sexual preference is more of a higher brain function, rather than a simple urge to conjugate or even procreate (many gay men and lesbians are now conspicuous for their desire and decision to become parents). so while SSRI's may dampen sexual feelings they are not reputed to alter desire (or desire for offspring). it seems then that medicating me as an adolescent probably affected neither my sexual orientation nor the gender assignment of my adult self (as it was promised to do by the prescribing physician) but simply the primal pattern of my sexual response, i.e., it is difficult for me to have an orgasm unless the sexual venue is one of great intensity or even risk to self.
which is what i have been trying to tell everyone for almost eight months now.