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I don't know why but I guess now is one of those times I realize that there are many people who relly(sp?) on me to lighten situations and to make them feel better because not to toot my own horn or anything but I know that I can make things funny...but in all of this I every so often that in trying to keep those I love around me happy I myself am stretched thin...and I wonder if while I am helping all these others to stay happy if there is any chance for me to also find happyness...I love that graham is happy but sometimes when I am hanging out with him and the people that make him happy it makes me realize how alone I am...its not his fault or anything...its also when I hang with brandon he always some girl hitting on him or something...and I don't think its so much jealousy as it is that I just realize that I do not have that kind of thing...and I guess I dive in to the ever so comforting shield of being the funny guy...idk I will probably just get over this and be fine later and not mention it but who knows I might enter a slump and just start complaining later...*shrugs* what comes will come...