(no subject)
idk whats been wrong with me lately, i keep over reacting about EVERYTHING.
lately ive been really scared about not being able to go to college, or at least a 4 year college like UCF, where i really want to go.
i dont have the SAT scores and i feel like going from a 990 to a 1100 or watever i need is going to be impossible for me. I just took ACTs on saturday and im scared i didnt do good on that either. I just cant concentrate on the reading part. I'll read the words on the paper but i cant for the love of me understand what ill be reading, they are just a bunch of words to me.
i hate to admit this but with all the money that will be put into SATs and lessons for them, id rather just go to school with him where i dont even need the SATs. right now id just rather be happier with him.
my computer doenst work, well it does but the color and the screen is messed up and i cant even use the internet besides for like AIM. I dont like bein in this room, my brothers "room". It just isnt my room so its weird to me.
My dad yells at me for doing stuff wrong, even when im doing shit for him. its technically his fault that my computer is the way it is, not mine. Of course if he tells me to do something ill do it but i shouldnt get yelled at for saying somethign wrong about it. He didnt even know something that i had to tell him and yet i get fucking yelled at, i hate it. i hate the way he yells at me for nothing. Then he says hes not yelling, fuck that, talkin in a high voice to me and getting frustered is yelling to me. he knows i get upset about it so he should know not to do it.
after awhile it hurts when guys are like "omg your friend is so cute" and then i get nothing. sure maybe i wont like them at all but still, its nice to get from guys "you're pretty".
matt bascially told me i wouldnt be a good girlfriend cause im mean. he's mean to me so why should i be nice to him.
in the summer i want to hop on a plane and just fly somewhere. actually i know where but whatever. i know my parents wont let me, and it sucks. i want to just get away from here for alittle. without my parents, without my friends. just go somewhere different, go see him. i need a break from all this, from everything.
i feel like summer is going to suck. i dont talk to my best friends anymore and i dont know why. i saw lindsey on saturday and i screamed hi...i think she screamed "i dont like you" but i could be wrong, i really dont know what she said to me. i dont want to see justin the whole summer, itll be too hard. not cause i have feelings, cause i dont, it just i really do want to be friends with him, well i did before i knew he participates in 4/20 events. he was my friend for nine fucking years, thats along time. if we see each other everday, i dont think we can just ignore each other. were going to eventually have to talk.
ok im done venting for now.
time to listen to my ipod on my effed up speakers.
lately ive been really scared about not being able to go to college, or at least a 4 year college like UCF, where i really want to go.
i dont have the SAT scores and i feel like going from a 990 to a 1100 or watever i need is going to be impossible for me. I just took ACTs on saturday and im scared i didnt do good on that either. I just cant concentrate on the reading part. I'll read the words on the paper but i cant for the love of me understand what ill be reading, they are just a bunch of words to me.
i hate to admit this but with all the money that will be put into SATs and lessons for them, id rather just go to school with him where i dont even need the SATs. right now id just rather be happier with him.
my computer doenst work, well it does but the color and the screen is messed up and i cant even use the internet besides for like AIM. I dont like bein in this room, my brothers "room". It just isnt my room so its weird to me.
My dad yells at me for doing stuff wrong, even when im doing shit for him. its technically his fault that my computer is the way it is, not mine. Of course if he tells me to do something ill do it but i shouldnt get yelled at for saying somethign wrong about it. He didnt even know something that i had to tell him and yet i get fucking yelled at, i hate it. i hate the way he yells at me for nothing. Then he says hes not yelling, fuck that, talkin in a high voice to me and getting frustered is yelling to me. he knows i get upset about it so he should know not to do it.
after awhile it hurts when guys are like "omg your friend is so cute" and then i get nothing. sure maybe i wont like them at all but still, its nice to get from guys "you're pretty".
matt bascially told me i wouldnt be a good girlfriend cause im mean. he's mean to me so why should i be nice to him.
in the summer i want to hop on a plane and just fly somewhere. actually i know where but whatever. i know my parents wont let me, and it sucks. i want to just get away from here for alittle. without my parents, without my friends. just go somewhere different, go see him. i need a break from all this, from everything.
i feel like summer is going to suck. i dont talk to my best friends anymore and i dont know why. i saw lindsey on saturday and i screamed hi...i think she screamed "i dont like you" but i could be wrong, i really dont know what she said to me. i dont want to see justin the whole summer, itll be too hard. not cause i have feelings, cause i dont, it just i really do want to be friends with him, well i did before i knew he participates in 4/20 events. he was my friend for nine fucking years, thats along time. if we see each other everday, i dont think we can just ignore each other. were going to eventually have to talk.
ok im done venting for now.
time to listen to my ipod on my effed up speakers.