subjects of tonights insomnia to further be researched
derealization, depersonalization, visual snow, electricity, cell reproduction, reincarnation, soul reproduction, cortisol, neurons, loss of identity through the idea of the internet making us self aware that we are computers, borderline personality disorder, people are cells, satellites sending transmissions to the internet are the same as electrical impulses shot through nerves into the body of the internet, the body of god, messiah complex, insanity, images beyond the snow, closed eye hallucinations, prolonged clonazepam usage might be to blame, bpd might be to blame, are mental disorders always disorders, how can one be spiritual and still believe all the things we see feel hear know dream beyond the superficial are only side effects of other things, and if you meld spirituality and scienctific fact how come they still contradict eachother, why are gifts called disorders, when does philosophy become new age bullshit, how come everything i read i identify with only seem like partial truths, what if im just extremely neurotic and narcissistic, when i was a small child i didnt believe things outside my vision feeling hearing smelling tasting or any other sort of sensing existed and i thought the world was being created as i went along, what the fuck is wrong with me? these are things that keep me awake almost every night, i hate insomnia, but i dont want to miss out on anything so i also choose not to sleep at times, i worry my brain is fried from doing too many drugs but i remember feeling these things before i ever took drugs - what is the line between spirituality and insanity?