Honest To God
Have you ever had someone praise you a little too much?
To the extent that you started doubting that they really meant what they said?
My family really praises my art, or at least my artistic talent. I know that they love me, but when they say it I can't take it as a serious judgement of my artistic ability. And maybe it never was meant to be... and I should just accept it as support from homebase. But... it would be nice to have a little artistic criticism. When someone can critique your art, in that special way that certain people can (aka, not outright bashing it), that's when you know that they care about it too.
I have a friend who's words and actions follow two different paths. She has nothing but compliments for me, but when it comes to actually doing things her actions say she thinks otherwise. Now, correct me if I'm wrong (it might just be remnants of my paranoia), but isn't that a little... dishonest? When you say one thing and do another... that bothers me. If someone has a problem with me, talk to ME about it! For the love of God don't just piss and moan to your friends all the time. If it's a legitimate concern, please talk to me! Otherwise, don't let it destroy our friendship.
Honesty is a hard thing to gauge.
*sigh*
My friends say that it's better to bitch and moan to others about the person you have trouble with, because then you avoid confrontation and once you vent it's done and over with. That might work for them, but it doesn't work for me. For one, when you do that it slowly corrodes the image of the person being bashed. Even if I swear it's not, if you tell me that someone is an uptight jackass, even if I have no reason to suspect that, that person's image in my mind has become marred.
And secondly, all that venting does is let you vent. It doesn't solve the source of the frustration. If the source is a legitimate problem, why not try and resolve it? And if it isn't, then why not try to come to terms with it? I've heard that you can't do this because people are jackasses and refuse to resolve anything, because their stubborn. I've even heard that people will retaliate if you bring it up and just do it more. Maybe that's true... I can't say.
I know when I bring up problems with others it usually ends in confrontation. Whether it's resolved or not, though, depends on how much pride is involved. If people are too stubborn to respect other's, then it just proves even more how damnably pathetic we are as a race.
If there's no God, it's only cuz we're too stubborn to admit it.
To the extent that you started doubting that they really meant what they said?
My family really praises my art, or at least my artistic talent. I know that they love me, but when they say it I can't take it as a serious judgement of my artistic ability. And maybe it never was meant to be... and I should just accept it as support from homebase. But... it would be nice to have a little artistic criticism. When someone can critique your art, in that special way that certain people can (aka, not outright bashing it), that's when you know that they care about it too.
I have a friend who's words and actions follow two different paths. She has nothing but compliments for me, but when it comes to actually doing things her actions say she thinks otherwise. Now, correct me if I'm wrong (it might just be remnants of my paranoia), but isn't that a little... dishonest? When you say one thing and do another... that bothers me. If someone has a problem with me, talk to ME about it! For the love of God don't just piss and moan to your friends all the time. If it's a legitimate concern, please talk to me! Otherwise, don't let it destroy our friendship.
Honesty is a hard thing to gauge.
*sigh*
My friends say that it's better to bitch and moan to others about the person you have trouble with, because then you avoid confrontation and once you vent it's done and over with. That might work for them, but it doesn't work for me. For one, when you do that it slowly corrodes the image of the person being bashed. Even if I swear it's not, if you tell me that someone is an uptight jackass, even if I have no reason to suspect that, that person's image in my mind has become marred.
And secondly, all that venting does is let you vent. It doesn't solve the source of the frustration. If the source is a legitimate problem, why not try and resolve it? And if it isn't, then why not try to come to terms with it? I've heard that you can't do this because people are jackasses and refuse to resolve anything, because their stubborn. I've even heard that people will retaliate if you bring it up and just do it more. Maybe that's true... I can't say.
I know when I bring up problems with others it usually ends in confrontation. Whether it's resolved or not, though, depends on how much pride is involved. If people are too stubborn to respect other's, then it just proves even more how damnably pathetic we are as a race.
If there's no God, it's only cuz we're too stubborn to admit it.