(no subject)
Nicole Blackman is a literary godess. Her writing affects my core.
Listening to this song brings back memories of RJC.
Lots has happened, obviously. I've had this journal for quite some time now, and I'm unsure whether as to abandon it & leave it to remind me of the me I once was, or just keep writing in it. It has been pretty much neglected.
"sometimes the people we think we know the most turn out to be the best deceptors.
masters of thier own puppet play.
you can find out far more about a person from their reactions.
forever? seems so permanent
I can just imagine a caveman -- back aching, adrenaline draining -- just to etch a picture, to record a moment
or a fat friar staying awake til dawn with his quill pen feeling the shock of sunrise. too absorbed in his writings.
as we sit by the hearth of old thermostats and comfy furniture no real need for rawness
Raw is too ugly, unnecessary, bothersome,
for every crtic sleeps himself to inertia
rested comfortably underneath cheap van Gogh reproductions
we always said. dont criticize until you've experienced
what if all the masters, in all their madness,
were so raw
they felt nothing at all --
and all this bull shit
would never start
people just might mean what they say"
-young&immature 2003/04 me, i was just looking thru old shit for art to sell.
------------
Broadway is living. meth&crackheads seem like normal drugdealin' kids. am i just desensitized?
Age doesn't really matter there. It's like a family. a rough, partly homeless family made of really nice street kids/druggies/hippies.
a few nights ago i played a part in a hippie jam. It was really creepy.beautiful.interesting.
Zoester's going hitchhiking with Corb&puppy to Alberta/BC. I'm pretty sure I can think of at least 4 people who orgasm at the though of coming home with 100 tabs of acid or some new drugs they *havent* tried yet. FUCKTHECOKE. dont do jib, kids. please. because i love you. and dont want the broadway scene anymore diminished. lawll ...
Yeah, a few days ago I had a bad trip on the magical fungi. at a mini party z & s were flying on E. meanwhile I cried in the rain and wanted to die. it seemed like it would never end. but it did. and im staying off hard drugs... everything except for weed&cigs&small amounts of alcohol.
I'm so stupid. I almost did gack. FUCKME. glad I didn't.
Really should have gone to Ness Creek. Sad I didn't. But whatevs.
I missed out on another guy. Who looks like a younger, hotter J.Depp. I Cannot Date Shy Men. Sometimes I just don't feel like I have the time or energy. i fucking hate it when people don't talk. well i dont mind moments of quiet introversion& thought. but i hateHATEHATE awkward silences that last more than 2 minutes. aka forever.
I heart Josh Martinez. & GG allin. lol.
I don't think I could ever be into the grind scene besides the mosh pit at shows. is pig destroyer grindcore? w/e.
My hot music list
Decemberists!
GG Allin
Necro
Josh Martinez w/ or w/o Mcenroe
Atmosphere
KMFDM - "Dogma"
Fear before the march of flames
Peaches
Pink FLOOOOOOOYYYD
Aesop rock...ish...
I realize how I don't really like Sarah.
So this whole entry didn't really "flow". OH WELLs. its my journal. I can't help but feel I lose more IQ points daily.
CANT WAIT FOR QUARTER ONE AT NUTANA. going to be a blast and a half. soo many kids are coming.
well, got to go work on commissions.
READ THE PERRY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP. IM DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH CHRIS GUREWITCH...'s.... mind...
BYEZ nonexistant LOVERRR
Listening to this song brings back memories of RJC.
Lots has happened, obviously. I've had this journal for quite some time now, and I'm unsure whether as to abandon it & leave it to remind me of the me I once was, or just keep writing in it. It has been pretty much neglected.
"sometimes the people we think we know the most turn out to be the best deceptors.
masters of thier own puppet play.
you can find out far more about a person from their reactions.
forever? seems so permanent
I can just imagine a caveman -- back aching, adrenaline draining -- just to etch a picture, to record a moment
or a fat friar staying awake til dawn with his quill pen feeling the shock of sunrise. too absorbed in his writings.
as we sit by the hearth of old thermostats and comfy furniture no real need for rawness
Raw is too ugly, unnecessary, bothersome,
for every crtic sleeps himself to inertia
rested comfortably underneath cheap van Gogh reproductions
we always said. dont criticize until you've experienced
what if all the masters, in all their madness,
were so raw
they felt nothing at all --
and all this bull shit
would never start
people just might mean what they say"
-young&immature 2003/04 me, i was just looking thru old shit for art to sell.
------------
Broadway is living. meth&crackheads seem like normal drugdealin' kids. am i just desensitized?
Age doesn't really matter there. It's like a family. a rough, partly homeless family made of really nice street kids/druggies/hippies.
a few nights ago i played a part in a hippie jam. It was really creepy.beautiful.interesting.
Zoester's going hitchhiking with Corb&puppy to Alberta/BC. I'm pretty sure I can think of at least 4 people who orgasm at the though of coming home with 100 tabs of acid or some new drugs they *havent* tried yet. FUCKTHECOKE. dont do jib, kids. please. because i love you. and dont want the broadway scene anymore diminished. lawll ...
Yeah, a few days ago I had a bad trip on the magical fungi. at a mini party z & s were flying on E. meanwhile I cried in the rain and wanted to die. it seemed like it would never end. but it did. and im staying off hard drugs... everything except for weed&cigs&small amounts of alcohol.
I'm so stupid. I almost did gack. FUCKME. glad I didn't.
Really should have gone to Ness Creek. Sad I didn't. But whatevs.
I missed out on another guy. Who looks like a younger, hotter J.Depp. I Cannot Date Shy Men. Sometimes I just don't feel like I have the time or energy. i fucking hate it when people don't talk. well i dont mind moments of quiet introversion& thought. but i hateHATEHATE awkward silences that last more than 2 minutes. aka forever.
I heart Josh Martinez. & GG allin. lol.
I don't think I could ever be into the grind scene besides the mosh pit at shows. is pig destroyer grindcore? w/e.
My hot music list
I realize how I don't really like Sarah.
So this whole entry didn't really "flow". OH WELLs. its my journal. I can't help but feel I lose more IQ points daily.
CANT WAIT FOR QUARTER ONE AT NUTANA. going to be a blast and a half. soo many kids are coming.
well, got to go work on commissions.
READ THE PERRY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP. IM DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH CHRIS GUREWITCH...'s.... mind...
BYEZ nonexistant LOVERRR