(no subject)
well...everything officially sucks. im in florida at my sisters apartment and justin is a major asshole...we were in traffic and my sister said something and justin(my sisters boyfriend) goes 'dont open your fucking mouth again!' and just started yelling at her...so when we got back to the apartment i just sat outside and cried and then justin came down and asked me what was wrong so i go 'my sister moved all the way down here to be with you and you sit here and bitch at her nonstop for stupid shit and are just not a good boyfriend to her!' and he just said he was sorry and went back upstairs. stupid fucker. and even after that he still sits there and yells at her! im like wtf? so my mom went to get her palm read yesterday and the reader goes 'you have a daughter that moved out lately right? well the boyfriend is not abusing her physically but is mentally'
also when we were on our way to wal mart tonight i asked how the bachelor party that my brother threw for his friend who was getting married went...my mom said it was fine and just brushed it off but i say my parents keep giving eachother weird looks so i knew she was lying...so when we got at wal mart my dad and me walked away from my mom, sister, and justin and told me that jill moved out and left my brother. so i sat down in the middle of wal marts parking lot and just cried. i guess at the bachelor party he got lap dances and stuff but one of the guys there told his girlfriend and his girlfriend started talking shit and told jill stuff that wasnt true i guess and jill just moved out.
i cant fucking lose jill!!! since my sister moved down to florida she has been my sister. whenever i want ice cream or to go to wal mart or to just talk about stuff i always call her and we just go out and do stuff and go to goodwill and get stupid shirts...god she cant leave. other than april, shes the only person i can really talk to truthfully about stuff going on in my life..and she'll give me advice about it and then she can always relate to it in some way. she is just a good person and i love her to death..she cant leave. i know this sounds mean but right now im not wondering or caring how my brother is feeling...im only worried about her. my mom is really upset about it too so thats why my mom didnt want to tell me. i want to call jill so bad and talk to her and be there for her like she always is for me..but that would be really awkward because joeys my brother..and my mom and dad dont think its a good idea. i just want to fix it...why is it always that i feel like i have to fix everything? i mean im the one thats 14 and they are 20..but i feel like i need to do something to help. i guess my personality is just fucked up like that.
i wish i was home right now..i want to go home but i dont want to leave my sister with justin. well i might be getting my palm read tomorrow and my tarot cards since i cant read my own cards, i can only read other peoples.
i love him. maybe i never really stopped...or maybe my fucked up mind is playing with me again. who knows?
I know there's something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.
You've built a love but that love falls apart.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.
Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.
And there are voices
that want to be heard.
So much to mention
but you can't find the words.
The scent of magic,
the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than the wind.
well people...call me cuz im bored down here. PLEASE CALL ME!
317-695-6420