Which Dreamed It?
Author: alabellavita
Requestor: pharrezychica
Claim: 108 (The events taking place between Remus' death and his walk in the forest with Harry along with James, Sirius and Lily.)
Rating: PG
Pairings (if any): Remus/Sirius
Summary: After he dies Remus finds his way through a jumble of memories and dreams in a quirky journey through his own sort of Wonderland to reuite with his friends.
Author's Notes: I want to give a HUGE thank you to graylor, my beta. <3 She is amazing, such a sweetheart and without her this would have been unreadable.
Word Count: 3,551
A flash of silver and everything was gone. It's not cold, he thought sleepily. For some reason he had always expected death to feel like ice water dripping through his veins but it was actually a pleasant feeling. Feeling? But he was dead. He had seen Dolohov and the silver, he was certain of it. But then how was he still able to feel? Opening his eyes uncertainly, everything slowly shifted into focus around him. He was in the hospital wing at Hogwarts, and a red-headed girl was sitting with her back to him. She had one hand on his knee and was speaking quietly to someone on her other side who Remus couldn't quite make out. Is it Mrs. Weasley? No this girl's too young, sixteen, maybe seventeen, and her voice is strangely familiar but I can't place it...
"Oh, thank Merlin, you're awake. We were all really worried. How are you feeling?" She leaned down, running one of her soft hands against his forehead.
"Lil, but you’re dead. How..." he rasped, staring at her in disbelief. Lily looked at him confused, threading her fingers through his hair.
"Dead? Why would I be dead? Remus, no one has died. Don't worry, James caught him in time and-"
"What do you mean? James is here? Can I see him?"
A dark shadow passed over her face as her attention turned toward his bedspread. "He's with Professor Dumbledore still. He caught Severus trying to follow you down the tunnel after you'd already transformed." Remus swallowed thickly. This was sixth year, then, he thought. The memory of the events came pouring back to him, but he couldn’t remember Lily ever being there. Hadn’t she and James only got together in seventh year?
"You have to go," Lily bent down to speak to him quietly, glancing around to make sure no one was listening.
"Go where? Lily this doesn’t make any sense, you didn’t know about what James did for Snape until years-"
"Go," she urged, pulling the blankets down over his knees to reveal not his embarrassing hospital gown as he had feared, but his black school robes. Remus stared at her, baffled about what was going on. "You need to find Sirius."
"Sirius? Lily, what's going on?"
"Find him." She smiled knowingly and gave him a wink. Before he could ask again what she was talking about she pushed him from the bed and through the doors of the hospital wing. He stumbled not into the Hogwarts hallway as he had expected but into the living room of the flat he had rented with Sirius after leaving school. Curious, and more than a bit confused, Remus reached for his wand in his back pocket in case he may need in, only to discover it wasn’t there.
"What in the bloody hell is going on?" he whispered to himself, cautiously walking into the kitchen. He figured if he was going to be without a wand there was no harm in arming himself with a frying pan. However, there was already someone waiting for him in the kitchen. Sitting cross-legged with a cup of tea and a plate of eggs was none other than James Potter. His hair was as messy as ever and he couldn't have been a day older than nineteen. He threw Remus a wicked smile and a nod as the werewolf entered.
"Prongs, what are you doing here?" He felt as if he had said this before but he couldn’t ever remember a time when he had found James sitting alone at his kitchen table, drinking tea and waiting for him.
"I think the more important question is what are you doing here, Moony?" James asked, taking the last sip of his tea. When he set down the cup, Remus could see the remains of the tea leaves in the bottom form a sort of dog-like shape.
"Er, I'm not so sure myself. I'm trying to find Sirius, have you seen him?" The more appropriate answer was ‘I have no idea how the hell I even got here but may I have a sip of your drink?’, but that didn’t seem like it would help things much. James didn’t seem any more inclined to answer his questions than Lily had and it made him uneasy.
"Good, that boy needs to be found. I saw him go into the bedroom a while ago but he hasn’t come out yet, the lazy git. I think the prospect of turning twenty in a few days is making him cranky. We were only gone two days and the first things he does are shower, eat and sleep-and in that order! I never thought I would see the day where Sirius Black would put hygiene before food." James shook his head and stabbed an egg with his fork, stuffing it in his mouth. "Anyway, good luck waking him, mate. You know he sleeps like the dead."
"Thanks." He left the eating Prongs behind and walked forward through the flat to the bedroom. He had wanted to stay and talk to him more-it was a welcome sight to see his friend again after so long-but it seemed unwise to stay in one place too long. He pushed open the door to his bedroom, only instead of finding the tiny room with one full bed and two dressers on the other side, Remus found himself staring into the garden of his childhood home.
"Curious and curiouser..." he muttered, biting his lip and looking around. His dad was standing on the edge of the deck looking out over the forest that stood next to their house. Remus walked up behind him and rested his hand on his father’s shoulder. The older Lupin turned and offered his son a warm smile. The worry lines that had clung to his forehead in old age were gone and his hair was pure brown.
"Happy birthday, Remus. Are you ready for your cake? I think your mum just has to get the camera ready." Before he knew what had happened his father wrapped his arms around Remus and kissed him on the head. Remus closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the affectionate gesture. He had missed his family. His parents had both passed away a few years after his friends and he often found himself longing for their comfort during the lonely years that followed.
"Where’s my birthday boy?" his mother’s voice rang out and Remus opened his eyes. She was just as he remembered her as a boy; young and happy. She had a wizarding camera dangling from her neck and a chocolate cake in her hands. Setting it on the deck table, she gestured him to stand before it. There were seven candles on it. This was the birthday I was bit, he realized.
"Make a wish Remus!" she urged, taking the camera in her hands and holding it up to capture the moment. Remus glanced at his father and then to the cake. He pursed his lips and blew out the candles obediently while his mother snapped a picture and his dad applauded merrily.
"You didn't wish for books did you?" his mother fussed, "I know you like reading, dear, but I do hope you want other toys like a broom or such. I was talking to Mary the other morning and she said her boys were begging her to buy them brooms. Sometimes I think you take life too seriously."
"Oh, leave the boy alone, I'm sure whatever he wished for was fine. Why don't we cut the cake?" his father cut in. He picked up the knife and stood next to Remus, offering the boy the shining silver object. Remus looked bewildered at his father and backed away from the dangerous element. He found that he could not walk far before someone was stopped him. A curling, scarred and unusually hairy arm wrapped around his hip. Remus knew before smelling him that it was Fenrir Greyback.
"You have to find him, Remus. Or I will."
The scream Remus felt rising in his chest never left his lips as he jabbed his elbow into Greyback's stomach and ran as fast as he could away from his house. Sprinting through the trees he thought he heard a rustling behind him and changed direction. This is only a dream, he reminded himself as he ducked a low-hanging branch. People do not actually die in their dreams. I will wake up at any moment and Teddy will need a change. I cannot actually die. He saw a house up ahead and headed toward it, but before he could even reach the door, he hit an invisible wall. It was the headquarters of The Order, he realized. Catching his breath, he knocked--three times, two times, five times--and waited for the ward to disappear before continuing to the front door. He didn’t realize what he was doing until his feet lead him to the kitchen. Alice and Frank Longbottom were seated at the table, sipping tea and sharing a muffin. They both glanced up at him with warm, tired smiles.
"Morning, sleepyhead. How are you feeling? Sirius said it was a rough one," Alice said worriedly. She pulled the chair next to her out, offering him a seat. Cautiously, Remus walked toward them and took the chair. This had to be the most bizarre dream he had ever had. He was dreaming about the dead. Was it a sign? Was he joining them? No, Frank and Alice weren't dead yet, a tiny voice reminded him.
Frank coughed and Remus realized they must have been waiting for his answer. "Oh yeah, it, uh, wasn't the smoothest moon I've had."
Alice looked sympathetic while her husband nodded with understanding. An uncomfortable silence fell between them and Remus wondered if he could eat in this dream. Reaching forward to take a tea bag from the box in the middle of the small table, he added it to the teacup in front of him. A flowery teapot sat next to the box of teas and Remus poured himself a full cup. He had found that tea was always the answer and was looking forward to the comforting warmth it provided. Alice glanced nervously down at her tea and Remus got the feeling she was trying to tell him something.
"Is everything alright?" He asked, watching his dissolving tea. If only he had his wand he could make it dilute faster.
"Yes, yes of course. It's just that...well Sirius told us some other things this morning. I um," she blushed pink as she stumbled over her words. Frank shifted awkwardly in his seat and Remus realized what she was trying say. "I walked into your room this morning to check that your wounds had been taken care of and um. Sort of found you guys. I’m so sorry Remus, I wasn’t trying to invade your privacy, I was just worried about you."
All three of them were a light shade of crimson now as Remus fumbled with his teacup. Frank swallowed and helped his wife with her wavering words. "What we are trying to say is that we're glad you boys found each other. We were worried about you. " He smiled and clapped a hand on Remus' shoulder. "People are meant to go through life two by two. 'Tain't natural to be lonesome."
"Sirius," he breathed, remembering why he was on this dream tangent in the first place. "Have you seen him since this morning?"
"I believe he mentioned something about taking care of the gnome problem today," Alice replied, visibly relieved to change the subject.
"Thank you," Remus stood, looking longingly at his untouched tea . "For everything, thank you. "
He gave them a smile and walked through the house. It was as though sixteen years had never passed as he made his way to the backyard. His feet remembered the way, or maybe it was his brain. Was it possible to get lost in a dream? Was this even a dream? Remus had been operating under the assumption that it was based on the quotes from Carroll and Wilder. Who else would dream in classic Literature dialogue?
A thankful Remus found a door that finally lead where it was supposed to when he exited headquarters through the back door. It turned out to be a beautiful cloudless day and the werewolf was happy to feel the hot sun beat down on his tired muscles. Lifting his knees high to climb through the tall weeds growing wild, he made his way to the shed positioned off to one side of the untouched garden. He didn't see Sirius anywhere so he trekked to the doors of the shed. There was a giant pawprint on it.
Remus felt a rush of excitement flood his stomach. This was it. He opened the door to the dark shed and took a step in. As soon as his hand left the handle he found himself engulfed in darkness. There was no ground below his feet but he did not seem to be falling. Was this some sort of disorienting mist? He picked one of his feet up experimentally but still he didn't move. The sound of a rattling motor softly roared in the distance. The infamous motorbike of Sirius' came rolling into view and came to a stop before him. Remus cursed under his breath as he looked at it. He had always hated the blasted thing and assumed half of the reason Sirius had loved it so much was because he knew Remus did not. Motorbikes were not meant to fly.
"Moony," a voice drifted through the darkness. Remus knew that voice anywhere. Reluctantly sliding his legs over the seat of the bike he gripped the handlebars. The bike seemed to take off without him so much as revving the engine and soon he was flying through the darkness toward the voice.
Blackness enveloped him until it's all he could see and feel. Was he supposed to be able to feel darkness? Whether or not he was supposed to, Remus could feel it all around him, but wasn’t not cold anymore. No, it felt more like hair. Of all the books he had read about death, which were admittedly quite a few especially since Sirius fell through the veil, he could not remember anyone having ever described death as being furry. Maybe this has something to do with being a werewolf, he mused. Maybe in the werewolf afterlife he was in a dream transformation. No but that wouldn't make sense, he still has his right mind and his body is still very much human.
And then it hit him.
He fell back with the weight as two twenty-one-year-old men with shaggy black hair fell on his chest and engaged him in the sort of wrestling match he hadn't taken part in for years. Rolling over the hardwood floor, he could feel one comforting weight forcing his shoulders down while another held his legs.
"Now boys, at least give him a fighting chance," a familiar female voice rang out over the ruckus.
"You made it, Remus. You made it," a voice whispered in his ear. It wasn’t the same voice he was used to hearing though; it was smoother and less hoarse. “I can’t believe you’re finally here. You took forever, you know.”
"Sirius," he breathed into the first head of black hair and pressed his nose into the familiar body. The body on his legs moved and he could hear footsteps. Sirius shifted above him to sit on his thighs, happy as he had ever been. He was wearing his favorite jeans, white shirt and leather jacket. Death looks good on him, Remus thought with a flush. “I found you.”
“Like you could lose me that easily,” Sirius chastised with a gruff laugh before crushing his mouth against Remus’. It wasn’t a warm kiss but it was hard, hot and deep. It lit a fire in his chest that had gone out two years before and made him growl. There was love, longing and need written all over the way Sirius ran his hands over Remus’ waist. Remus couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes, half afraid it might all fade away again. He broke the kiss with a pant and ran his hands through Sirius’ hair.
"It's good to see you, Moony." James said somewhere above him. Remus craned his neck up to see he and Lily standing together, both looking peaceful and happy. They look so young, but then again they were young when they died. The thought made him feel very old and he glanced down at his weather and wolf-worn hands only to find them stripped of all wear and tear from the last twenty years. He was young, too.
"What was that thing I just went though?" he asked slowly, turning his focus from James and Lily to the boy perched on his waist.
"Oh the sequence? We were in yours? That’s brilliant! Mine was filled with you but when I died I still saw you on a regular basis.” James answered first; Sirius seemed content to let him.
"So, they were dreams?" Remus moved to sit up and have a proper discussion about this but Sirius pushed him back down again to lay on the hardwood floor.
"Well, a mixture of memory and dream," Sirius supplied happily, flicking his hair from his eyes. He had taken up inspecting Remus carefully as if making sure all the scars he remembered were still in place. While the feel of the other man’s affectionate fingers roaming his stomach, calves and forearms made something in his lower stomach curl appreciatively, Remus batted the wandering hands away. He did not want to have reunited-and-it-feels-so-good sex in front of friends he had not seen in eighteen years…even if Sirius had the most fantastic hands and knew how to use them. Bastard.
"Life, what is it but a dream?" Lily asked with a sly smile at Remus while the werewolf struggled to keep Sirius’ nose away from his collarbone.
"Illusion is the first of all pleasures," James agreed, rubbing a hand over Lily's hip. Remus grumbled at the idea that being threatened by Greyback was not his idea of pleasure but then Sirius' tongue found its way to his neck and the complaint died in his throat. It seemed that death had done nothing to impede the young man's talent for making Remus stop talking. “You had to get through the past to reach your future.”
He opened his mouth to ask if they could use magic here, where exactly here was, why they all looked like they did before Harry was born and a million other questions that fluttered around his brain when he felt it. A warm sensation started to flicker in his stomach, like a cross between the last bite of a chocolate bar and a good first kiss.
"He needs us," Lily whispered and the excited, rambunctious, joyful mood the four friends had felt for Remus’ homecoming disappeared in an instant. She turned her attention from James to Remus and Sirius. "Can you two feel it?"
Remus nodded slowly and out of the corner of his eye saw Sirius doing the same. This feeling couldn’t be a usual sensation or James wouldn’t look like that. Why would Harry need them? What did that even mean? They were his parents, of course he needed them. This didn’t seem to be the answer Lily was looking for as she gripped James’ hand tightly.
"This is what it felt like before when we saw Harry in the graveyard," James said softly. The worry showed on his young face. "Only it wasn't as strong then."
"How do we find him?" The last time James and Lily came out of the wand to see Harry had been in a life or death situation. Was he in another? The others seemed to be thinking the same thing, as the sensation grew.
"Just relax and he'll pull you. It feels sort of like a portkey in a way, only without the wind. I think it's going to happen any moment." Lily swallowed, her hands balled into fists at her sides slowly uncurled as she forced herself to relax.
Remus followed her lead and closed his eyes. He concentrated on relaxing as best he could before he felt the tug somewhere behind his navel and he was gone. He could smell the forest before he could see it and opening his eyes he saw Harry standing a few feet before him. Remus couldn't help but smile widely at the sight of him, beaming with pride at the boy he had seen grow into the man standing before him.
Death was not like life, Remus thought. And it wasn't because of the agelessness or the ability to control one’s surroundings. He had never been able to hold on to things in life, even after he had been given a second chance. Standing in the forest, the place that he and his friends had found happiness, he felt a rush of warmth that he knew didn't have anything to do with Harry pulling him in. He was with his best friends again. He was happy. He was home.
Requestor: pharrezychica
Claim: 108 (The events taking place between Remus' death and his walk in the forest with Harry along with James, Sirius and Lily.)
Rating: PG
Pairings (if any): Remus/Sirius
Summary: After he dies Remus finds his way through a jumble of memories and dreams in a quirky journey through his own sort of Wonderland to reuite with his friends.
Author's Notes: I want to give a HUGE thank you to graylor, my beta. <3 She is amazing, such a sweetheart and without her this would have been unreadable.
Word Count: 3,551
A flash of silver and everything was gone. It's not cold, he thought sleepily. For some reason he had always expected death to feel like ice water dripping through his veins but it was actually a pleasant feeling. Feeling? But he was dead. He had seen Dolohov and the silver, he was certain of it. But then how was he still able to feel? Opening his eyes uncertainly, everything slowly shifted into focus around him. He was in the hospital wing at Hogwarts, and a red-headed girl was sitting with her back to him. She had one hand on his knee and was speaking quietly to someone on her other side who Remus couldn't quite make out. Is it Mrs. Weasley? No this girl's too young, sixteen, maybe seventeen, and her voice is strangely familiar but I can't place it...
"Oh, thank Merlin, you're awake. We were all really worried. How are you feeling?" She leaned down, running one of her soft hands against his forehead.
"Lil, but you’re dead. How..." he rasped, staring at her in disbelief. Lily looked at him confused, threading her fingers through his hair.
"Dead? Why would I be dead? Remus, no one has died. Don't worry, James caught him in time and-"
"What do you mean? James is here? Can I see him?"
A dark shadow passed over her face as her attention turned toward his bedspread. "He's with Professor Dumbledore still. He caught Severus trying to follow you down the tunnel after you'd already transformed." Remus swallowed thickly. This was sixth year, then, he thought. The memory of the events came pouring back to him, but he couldn’t remember Lily ever being there. Hadn’t she and James only got together in seventh year?
"You have to go," Lily bent down to speak to him quietly, glancing around to make sure no one was listening.
"Go where? Lily this doesn’t make any sense, you didn’t know about what James did for Snape until years-"
"Go," she urged, pulling the blankets down over his knees to reveal not his embarrassing hospital gown as he had feared, but his black school robes. Remus stared at her, baffled about what was going on. "You need to find Sirius."
"Sirius? Lily, what's going on?"
"Find him." She smiled knowingly and gave him a wink. Before he could ask again what she was talking about she pushed him from the bed and through the doors of the hospital wing. He stumbled not into the Hogwarts hallway as he had expected but into the living room of the flat he had rented with Sirius after leaving school. Curious, and more than a bit confused, Remus reached for his wand in his back pocket in case he may need in, only to discover it wasn’t there.
"What in the bloody hell is going on?" he whispered to himself, cautiously walking into the kitchen. He figured if he was going to be without a wand there was no harm in arming himself with a frying pan. However, there was already someone waiting for him in the kitchen. Sitting cross-legged with a cup of tea and a plate of eggs was none other than James Potter. His hair was as messy as ever and he couldn't have been a day older than nineteen. He threw Remus a wicked smile and a nod as the werewolf entered.
"Prongs, what are you doing here?" He felt as if he had said this before but he couldn’t ever remember a time when he had found James sitting alone at his kitchen table, drinking tea and waiting for him.
"I think the more important question is what are you doing here, Moony?" James asked, taking the last sip of his tea. When he set down the cup, Remus could see the remains of the tea leaves in the bottom form a sort of dog-like shape.
"Er, I'm not so sure myself. I'm trying to find Sirius, have you seen him?" The more appropriate answer was ‘I have no idea how the hell I even got here but may I have a sip of your drink?’, but that didn’t seem like it would help things much. James didn’t seem any more inclined to answer his questions than Lily had and it made him uneasy.
"Good, that boy needs to be found. I saw him go into the bedroom a while ago but he hasn’t come out yet, the lazy git. I think the prospect of turning twenty in a few days is making him cranky. We were only gone two days and the first things he does are shower, eat and sleep-and in that order! I never thought I would see the day where Sirius Black would put hygiene before food." James shook his head and stabbed an egg with his fork, stuffing it in his mouth. "Anyway, good luck waking him, mate. You know he sleeps like the dead."
"Thanks." He left the eating Prongs behind and walked forward through the flat to the bedroom. He had wanted to stay and talk to him more-it was a welcome sight to see his friend again after so long-but it seemed unwise to stay in one place too long. He pushed open the door to his bedroom, only instead of finding the tiny room with one full bed and two dressers on the other side, Remus found himself staring into the garden of his childhood home.
"Curious and curiouser..." he muttered, biting his lip and looking around. His dad was standing on the edge of the deck looking out over the forest that stood next to their house. Remus walked up behind him and rested his hand on his father’s shoulder. The older Lupin turned and offered his son a warm smile. The worry lines that had clung to his forehead in old age were gone and his hair was pure brown.
"Happy birthday, Remus. Are you ready for your cake? I think your mum just has to get the camera ready." Before he knew what had happened his father wrapped his arms around Remus and kissed him on the head. Remus closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the affectionate gesture. He had missed his family. His parents had both passed away a few years after his friends and he often found himself longing for their comfort during the lonely years that followed.
"Where’s my birthday boy?" his mother’s voice rang out and Remus opened his eyes. She was just as he remembered her as a boy; young and happy. She had a wizarding camera dangling from her neck and a chocolate cake in her hands. Setting it on the deck table, she gestured him to stand before it. There were seven candles on it. This was the birthday I was bit, he realized.
"Make a wish Remus!" she urged, taking the camera in her hands and holding it up to capture the moment. Remus glanced at his father and then to the cake. He pursed his lips and blew out the candles obediently while his mother snapped a picture and his dad applauded merrily.
"You didn't wish for books did you?" his mother fussed, "I know you like reading, dear, but I do hope you want other toys like a broom or such. I was talking to Mary the other morning and she said her boys were begging her to buy them brooms. Sometimes I think you take life too seriously."
"Oh, leave the boy alone, I'm sure whatever he wished for was fine. Why don't we cut the cake?" his father cut in. He picked up the knife and stood next to Remus, offering the boy the shining silver object. Remus looked bewildered at his father and backed away from the dangerous element. He found that he could not walk far before someone was stopped him. A curling, scarred and unusually hairy arm wrapped around his hip. Remus knew before smelling him that it was Fenrir Greyback.
"You have to find him, Remus. Or I will."
The scream Remus felt rising in his chest never left his lips as he jabbed his elbow into Greyback's stomach and ran as fast as he could away from his house. Sprinting through the trees he thought he heard a rustling behind him and changed direction. This is only a dream, he reminded himself as he ducked a low-hanging branch. People do not actually die in their dreams. I will wake up at any moment and Teddy will need a change. I cannot actually die. He saw a house up ahead and headed toward it, but before he could even reach the door, he hit an invisible wall. It was the headquarters of The Order, he realized. Catching his breath, he knocked--three times, two times, five times--and waited for the ward to disappear before continuing to the front door. He didn’t realize what he was doing until his feet lead him to the kitchen. Alice and Frank Longbottom were seated at the table, sipping tea and sharing a muffin. They both glanced up at him with warm, tired smiles.
"Morning, sleepyhead. How are you feeling? Sirius said it was a rough one," Alice said worriedly. She pulled the chair next to her out, offering him a seat. Cautiously, Remus walked toward them and took the chair. This had to be the most bizarre dream he had ever had. He was dreaming about the dead. Was it a sign? Was he joining them? No, Frank and Alice weren't dead yet, a tiny voice reminded him.
Frank coughed and Remus realized they must have been waiting for his answer. "Oh yeah, it, uh, wasn't the smoothest moon I've had."
Alice looked sympathetic while her husband nodded with understanding. An uncomfortable silence fell between them and Remus wondered if he could eat in this dream. Reaching forward to take a tea bag from the box in the middle of the small table, he added it to the teacup in front of him. A flowery teapot sat next to the box of teas and Remus poured himself a full cup. He had found that tea was always the answer and was looking forward to the comforting warmth it provided. Alice glanced nervously down at her tea and Remus got the feeling she was trying to tell him something.
"Is everything alright?" He asked, watching his dissolving tea. If only he had his wand he could make it dilute faster.
"Yes, yes of course. It's just that...well Sirius told us some other things this morning. I um," she blushed pink as she stumbled over her words. Frank shifted awkwardly in his seat and Remus realized what she was trying say. "I walked into your room this morning to check that your wounds had been taken care of and um. Sort of found you guys. I’m so sorry Remus, I wasn’t trying to invade your privacy, I was just worried about you."
All three of them were a light shade of crimson now as Remus fumbled with his teacup. Frank swallowed and helped his wife with her wavering words. "What we are trying to say is that we're glad you boys found each other. We were worried about you. " He smiled and clapped a hand on Remus' shoulder. "People are meant to go through life two by two. 'Tain't natural to be lonesome."
"Sirius," he breathed, remembering why he was on this dream tangent in the first place. "Have you seen him since this morning?"
"I believe he mentioned something about taking care of the gnome problem today," Alice replied, visibly relieved to change the subject.
"Thank you," Remus stood, looking longingly at his untouched tea . "For everything, thank you. "
He gave them a smile and walked through the house. It was as though sixteen years had never passed as he made his way to the backyard. His feet remembered the way, or maybe it was his brain. Was it possible to get lost in a dream? Was this even a dream? Remus had been operating under the assumption that it was based on the quotes from Carroll and Wilder. Who else would dream in classic Literature dialogue?
A thankful Remus found a door that finally lead where it was supposed to when he exited headquarters through the back door. It turned out to be a beautiful cloudless day and the werewolf was happy to feel the hot sun beat down on his tired muscles. Lifting his knees high to climb through the tall weeds growing wild, he made his way to the shed positioned off to one side of the untouched garden. He didn't see Sirius anywhere so he trekked to the doors of the shed. There was a giant pawprint on it.
Remus felt a rush of excitement flood his stomach. This was it. He opened the door to the dark shed and took a step in. As soon as his hand left the handle he found himself engulfed in darkness. There was no ground below his feet but he did not seem to be falling. Was this some sort of disorienting mist? He picked one of his feet up experimentally but still he didn't move. The sound of a rattling motor softly roared in the distance. The infamous motorbike of Sirius' came rolling into view and came to a stop before him. Remus cursed under his breath as he looked at it. He had always hated the blasted thing and assumed half of the reason Sirius had loved it so much was because he knew Remus did not. Motorbikes were not meant to fly.
"Moony," a voice drifted through the darkness. Remus knew that voice anywhere. Reluctantly sliding his legs over the seat of the bike he gripped the handlebars. The bike seemed to take off without him so much as revving the engine and soon he was flying through the darkness toward the voice.
Blackness enveloped him until it's all he could see and feel. Was he supposed to be able to feel darkness? Whether or not he was supposed to, Remus could feel it all around him, but wasn’t not cold anymore. No, it felt more like hair. Of all the books he had read about death, which were admittedly quite a few especially since Sirius fell through the veil, he could not remember anyone having ever described death as being furry. Maybe this has something to do with being a werewolf, he mused. Maybe in the werewolf afterlife he was in a dream transformation. No but that wouldn't make sense, he still has his right mind and his body is still very much human.
And then it hit him.
He fell back with the weight as two twenty-one-year-old men with shaggy black hair fell on his chest and engaged him in the sort of wrestling match he hadn't taken part in for years. Rolling over the hardwood floor, he could feel one comforting weight forcing his shoulders down while another held his legs.
"Now boys, at least give him a fighting chance," a familiar female voice rang out over the ruckus.
"You made it, Remus. You made it," a voice whispered in his ear. It wasn’t the same voice he was used to hearing though; it was smoother and less hoarse. “I can’t believe you’re finally here. You took forever, you know.”
"Sirius," he breathed into the first head of black hair and pressed his nose into the familiar body. The body on his legs moved and he could hear footsteps. Sirius shifted above him to sit on his thighs, happy as he had ever been. He was wearing his favorite jeans, white shirt and leather jacket. Death looks good on him, Remus thought with a flush. “I found you.”
“Like you could lose me that easily,” Sirius chastised with a gruff laugh before crushing his mouth against Remus’. It wasn’t a warm kiss but it was hard, hot and deep. It lit a fire in his chest that had gone out two years before and made him growl. There was love, longing and need written all over the way Sirius ran his hands over Remus’ waist. Remus couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes, half afraid it might all fade away again. He broke the kiss with a pant and ran his hands through Sirius’ hair.
"It's good to see you, Moony." James said somewhere above him. Remus craned his neck up to see he and Lily standing together, both looking peaceful and happy. They look so young, but then again they were young when they died. The thought made him feel very old and he glanced down at his weather and wolf-worn hands only to find them stripped of all wear and tear from the last twenty years. He was young, too.
"What was that thing I just went though?" he asked slowly, turning his focus from James and Lily to the boy perched on his waist.
"Oh the sequence? We were in yours? That’s brilliant! Mine was filled with you but when I died I still saw you on a regular basis.” James answered first; Sirius seemed content to let him.
"So, they were dreams?" Remus moved to sit up and have a proper discussion about this but Sirius pushed him back down again to lay on the hardwood floor.
"Well, a mixture of memory and dream," Sirius supplied happily, flicking his hair from his eyes. He had taken up inspecting Remus carefully as if making sure all the scars he remembered were still in place. While the feel of the other man’s affectionate fingers roaming his stomach, calves and forearms made something in his lower stomach curl appreciatively, Remus batted the wandering hands away. He did not want to have reunited-and-it-feels-so-good sex in front of friends he had not seen in eighteen years…even if Sirius had the most fantastic hands and knew how to use them. Bastard.
"Life, what is it but a dream?" Lily asked with a sly smile at Remus while the werewolf struggled to keep Sirius’ nose away from his collarbone.
"Illusion is the first of all pleasures," James agreed, rubbing a hand over Lily's hip. Remus grumbled at the idea that being threatened by Greyback was not his idea of pleasure but then Sirius' tongue found its way to his neck and the complaint died in his throat. It seemed that death had done nothing to impede the young man's talent for making Remus stop talking. “You had to get through the past to reach your future.”
He opened his mouth to ask if they could use magic here, where exactly here was, why they all looked like they did before Harry was born and a million other questions that fluttered around his brain when he felt it. A warm sensation started to flicker in his stomach, like a cross between the last bite of a chocolate bar and a good first kiss.
"He needs us," Lily whispered and the excited, rambunctious, joyful mood the four friends had felt for Remus’ homecoming disappeared in an instant. She turned her attention from James to Remus and Sirius. "Can you two feel it?"
Remus nodded slowly and out of the corner of his eye saw Sirius doing the same. This feeling couldn’t be a usual sensation or James wouldn’t look like that. Why would Harry need them? What did that even mean? They were his parents, of course he needed them. This didn’t seem to be the answer Lily was looking for as she gripped James’ hand tightly.
"This is what it felt like before when we saw Harry in the graveyard," James said softly. The worry showed on his young face. "Only it wasn't as strong then."
"How do we find him?" The last time James and Lily came out of the wand to see Harry had been in a life or death situation. Was he in another? The others seemed to be thinking the same thing, as the sensation grew.
"Just relax and he'll pull you. It feels sort of like a portkey in a way, only without the wind. I think it's going to happen any moment." Lily swallowed, her hands balled into fists at her sides slowly uncurled as she forced herself to relax.
Remus followed her lead and closed his eyes. He concentrated on relaxing as best he could before he felt the tug somewhere behind his navel and he was gone. He could smell the forest before he could see it and opening his eyes he saw Harry standing a few feet before him. Remus couldn't help but smile widely at the sight of him, beaming with pride at the boy he had seen grow into the man standing before him.
Death was not like life, Remus thought. And it wasn't because of the agelessness or the ability to control one’s surroundings. He had never been able to hold on to things in life, even after he had been given a second chance. Standing in the forest, the place that he and his friends had found happiness, he felt a rush of warmth that he knew didn't have anything to do with Harry pulling him in. He was with his best friends again. He was happy. He was home.