Things You Have Ruined for Me (and most of the men that will follow you)
I've been thinking a lot lately about all of the things that I can't seem to do without thinking of you, things that often times piss me off. I've decided that these are things that I will not be able to do anymore, and I've decided to keep an open ended list.
1. Anal and threesomes.
When something becomes a requirement in your relationship, it's no longer enjoyable.
2. Legos and puzzles.
Legos because we both got to be children again, and puzzles because it just reminds me of
how little patience you had for anything that took time and work.
3. "Baby"
I don't know why you wanted to call me that, but someone did the other day, and I had to
get all hard ass on him and tell him never to call me that again.
4. Long distance.
It's something that I'm very proud I've done but also something that would force me to
think of you constantly if it ever happened again.
5. Hair removal.
I don't know what your problem is with women looking like women, but at points, it became
something like an obsession. I know you worked on your..."area" too, but you seemed
consistently concerned with how much hair I had and where. I've said it before, and I'll
say it again, men who like their women hairless are looking for little girls.
That's all I have in me at the moment. So, this list can make you feel bad for having left such a bad impression, or it can make you feel good because you know that I can do none of these things without you figuratively looking over my shoulder.
1. Anal and threesomes.
When something becomes a requirement in your relationship, it's no longer enjoyable.
2. Legos and puzzles.
Legos because we both got to be children again, and puzzles because it just reminds me of
how little patience you had for anything that took time and work.
3. "Baby"
I don't know why you wanted to call me that, but someone did the other day, and I had to
get all hard ass on him and tell him never to call me that again.
4. Long distance.
It's something that I'm very proud I've done but also something that would force me to
think of you constantly if it ever happened again.
5. Hair removal.
I don't know what your problem is with women looking like women, but at points, it became
something like an obsession. I know you worked on your..."area" too, but you seemed
consistently concerned with how much hair I had and where. I've said it before, and I'll
say it again, men who like their women hairless are looking for little girls.
That's all I have in me at the moment. So, this list can make you feel bad for having left such a bad impression, or it can make you feel good because you know that I can do none of these things without you figuratively looking over my shoulder.