(no subject)
No matter how hard I try, I still find myself getting upset over the things that I dont have. Not so much material things... things like my dad and my brother and the friends that I've left at various times in my life. I guess I miss company. I miss having someone to talk to. I cant help but feel that the friends that I do have here dont really like me all that much, Evi and Alycia namely. I feel dreadfully unwanted in this house. I dont blame them, I am kind of invading their house. The only friend that I have is Andrew and I dont feel comfortable hanging out with him anymore because of the fights we had and Chad not liking him. I just remember that I felt happy when we hung out, I felt familiar. I cant complain about having a baby, because she is quite possibly the most amazing person I have ever met. Then again, I still dont quite feel like she is mine... like someone could take her at any moment. As much as I miss the people I care about, going to England seems strangely inviting. I would miss my mom terribly, not to mention Zephrem and the rest of my family, but I cant imagine not being near her. I know though, opportunities like this dont come along everyday. You cant just let things pass you by... or you'll live in Oviedo all of your life and continue to have no friends and find yourself at Wal-mart in the middle of the night just because you want to be around people. Don't let things pass you by... thats what I'm trying to say. Just because something is painful doesnt mean it's bad. Things like that make you grow, they make you a better person. At this point even, I could die and still say that I'd had an interesting life and not regret a second of it.