(no subject)
I keep starting a LJ entry thinking I know what I want to say and then I always lose the words. Not really sure why.
It's been almost a month since I posted last. A lot of stuff has happened in that month. I got dumped by a guy I had only been dating for a month. I moved out of my apartment, away from the unhappy and stress inducing roommate and moved in with Bonnie (SCA Magdalena de Arts) this past Saturday. The 6 month anniversary of my father's death came and went. I Stage Managed a show. My brother moved to Victoria. And my plans for the summer, which were hopefully including a work study in Banff may have changed.
That's a whole lot of change in just a few weeks. Where do I start?
Maybe the guy. We met through friends. Dated for about a month and then he dumped me. The funny thing is I was kinda thinking that I was gonna give the relationship another couple weeks to see how it panned out, because I wasn't sure. This might sound mean to judge someone, but I was starting to feel like he wasn't good enough for me. Like I deserved much better in a lot of ways. And then he dumped me. Which actually upset a bit. Because someone I felt wasn't good enough was rejecting me. Sorta lame I felt that way, but I did for a day or two so there you have it.
What next? Oh, I moved. I realized that there were so many little things I was unhappy about in my living situation. And that I didn't NEED to be there. And so I decided I wouldn't stay. And I've only been moved out for 2 days and I already notice a difference in how I feel about my living situation. Much happier home life = much happier me.
I Stage Managed a play put on by an independant theatre company. And it reaffirmed that I do love this, and I do want to make a career out of it. So starting plans about how to take the next step towards this goal.
My brother moved to Victoria finally. And for some reason it made me a little sad. For years we had a weird rocky relationship. But since my dad's death our relationship has changed. We get along better. We talk more. I guess we both had a bit of a perspective shift when it came to the importance of family. And even though we didn't live in the same city before, he was only a couple of hours away, not a couple of provinces. I guess I'm just a bit sad that his move happened so shortly after our relationship began to solidify, however he seems like a much happier person now that he is out there. I think he really needed the change in scenery in a lot of ways.
As for Banff...well the whole point of me applying to the program was because it would provide the opportunity to expand my Stage Management skills into other types of performance such as Opera, which would inevitably make me more employable. However....I was recently contacted by the Saskatoon Opera and they are interested in having me as an Assistant Stage Manager on their production this Spring/Summer.
So on the one hand I could pay tuition and go to Banff for the summer! Or...I could stay here, and not pay tution, and actually get a paycheck and develop contacts in province that could lead to future employment....and develop the same skills....and the program in Banff is offered every year if I wanted...
Almost a no-brainer...also I was asked if I would design a Fringe Fest show later in the summer. So the temptation to stay here is pretty damn strong. The Opera thing isn't in writing just yet and so until it is, I am still proceeding with the Banff application. I will likely have an interview regarding that next week. However like I said, looks like I may be staying here!!
Staying here would also likely mean I get to go to Quad War, btw. I've never missed it and the idea of missing it for Banff was just killing me...
And what's left? Ah yes, the 6months since my father's death. Honestly I feel like I have been in a rut since then. And I feel like I am finally starting to come out of. And am starting to get back to being me. And it feels great.
It's been almost a month since I posted last. A lot of stuff has happened in that month. I got dumped by a guy I had only been dating for a month. I moved out of my apartment, away from the unhappy and stress inducing roommate and moved in with Bonnie (SCA Magdalena de Arts) this past Saturday. The 6 month anniversary of my father's death came and went. I Stage Managed a show. My brother moved to Victoria. And my plans for the summer, which were hopefully including a work study in Banff may have changed.
That's a whole lot of change in just a few weeks. Where do I start?
Maybe the guy. We met through friends. Dated for about a month and then he dumped me. The funny thing is I was kinda thinking that I was gonna give the relationship another couple weeks to see how it panned out, because I wasn't sure. This might sound mean to judge someone, but I was starting to feel like he wasn't good enough for me. Like I deserved much better in a lot of ways. And then he dumped me. Which actually upset a bit. Because someone I felt wasn't good enough was rejecting me. Sorta lame I felt that way, but I did for a day or two so there you have it.
What next? Oh, I moved. I realized that there were so many little things I was unhappy about in my living situation. And that I didn't NEED to be there. And so I decided I wouldn't stay. And I've only been moved out for 2 days and I already notice a difference in how I feel about my living situation. Much happier home life = much happier me.
I Stage Managed a play put on by an independant theatre company. And it reaffirmed that I do love this, and I do want to make a career out of it. So starting plans about how to take the next step towards this goal.
My brother moved to Victoria finally. And for some reason it made me a little sad. For years we had a weird rocky relationship. But since my dad's death our relationship has changed. We get along better. We talk more. I guess we both had a bit of a perspective shift when it came to the importance of family. And even though we didn't live in the same city before, he was only a couple of hours away, not a couple of provinces. I guess I'm just a bit sad that his move happened so shortly after our relationship began to solidify, however he seems like a much happier person now that he is out there. I think he really needed the change in scenery in a lot of ways.
As for Banff...well the whole point of me applying to the program was because it would provide the opportunity to expand my Stage Management skills into other types of performance such as Opera, which would inevitably make me more employable. However....I was recently contacted by the Saskatoon Opera and they are interested in having me as an Assistant Stage Manager on their production this Spring/Summer.
So on the one hand I could pay tuition and go to Banff for the summer! Or...I could stay here, and not pay tution, and actually get a paycheck and develop contacts in province that could lead to future employment....and develop the same skills....and the program in Banff is offered every year if I wanted...
Almost a no-brainer...also I was asked if I would design a Fringe Fest show later in the summer. So the temptation to stay here is pretty damn strong. The Opera thing isn't in writing just yet and so until it is, I am still proceeding with the Banff application. I will likely have an interview regarding that next week. However like I said, looks like I may be staying here!!
Staying here would also likely mean I get to go to Quad War, btw. I've never missed it and the idea of missing it for Banff was just killing me...
And what's left? Ah yes, the 6months since my father's death. Honestly I feel like I have been in a rut since then. And I feel like I am finally starting to come out of. And am starting to get back to being me. And it feels great.