Blah
Alright, so for those of you who read my post yesterday... blah. Excuse the melodrama. For those of you who didn't read it, you're not missing much.
Basically, it comes to this: I'm depressed.
Not the soul-numbing, can't get out of bed and take a shower kind of depression I've suffered in the last couple years. (We know it's really bad when 'it's too much touble' to shower in the morning) No, this is the "where are my friends when I really need them" kind of depression.
At the moment, my answer is "What friends?" Which I know is unfair to both July and Warren, but other than that... I pretty much feel ignored, undervalued and taken for granted. Mike called a couple days ago, and it was nice to talk to him - I've been missing that, I think.
But other than Mike's "I have a bunch of extra minutes I want to use before the end of the month" call and of course July and Warren, no one ever calls me, or AIM's me, for that matter. I have to start all the conversations I have with my friends, unless of course, they want something from me.
No. Your MC review isn't done yet. I've been busy and haven't had email. Back off.
And, of course, it doesn't help when people break plans they made with us to go hang out with Becah when they *know* things are not alright with us *coughseancough*
There we go, the heart of the matter. The bleeding, sore, painful bloody mess that is my friendship with Becah. Mangled by insensitivity, inflexibility, being taken for granted. I keep trying to fix things. I keep failing. I *know* rationally that it's going to take more than just *me* wanting to fix things... sigh. That's what hurts most, I guess... that she doesn't seem to want to fix things. She blames me. "It's Crazy Keri's fault, she's irrational and emotional - and I didn't even do anything! Well, she is crazy. Oh well, it doesn't matter, she'll get over it like always."
Sigh. Yeah, I guess I will eventualy get past the bleeding, and things will scab over again, and I can wait to be knifed again.
Basically, it comes to this: I'm depressed.
Not the soul-numbing, can't get out of bed and take a shower kind of depression I've suffered in the last couple years. (We know it's really bad when 'it's too much touble' to shower in the morning) No, this is the "where are my friends when I really need them" kind of depression.
At the moment, my answer is "What friends?" Which I know is unfair to both July and Warren, but other than that... I pretty much feel ignored, undervalued and taken for granted. Mike called a couple days ago, and it was nice to talk to him - I've been missing that, I think.
But other than Mike's "I have a bunch of extra minutes I want to use before the end of the month" call and of course July and Warren, no one ever calls me, or AIM's me, for that matter. I have to start all the conversations I have with my friends, unless of course, they want something from me.
No. Your MC review isn't done yet. I've been busy and haven't had email. Back off.
And, of course, it doesn't help when people break plans they made with us to go hang out with Becah when they *know* things are not alright with us *coughseancough*
There we go, the heart of the matter. The bleeding, sore, painful bloody mess that is my friendship with Becah. Mangled by insensitivity, inflexibility, being taken for granted. I keep trying to fix things. I keep failing. I *know* rationally that it's going to take more than just *me* wanting to fix things... sigh. That's what hurts most, I guess... that she doesn't seem to want to fix things. She blames me. "It's Crazy Keri's fault, she's irrational and emotional - and I didn't even do anything! Well, she is crazy. Oh well, it doesn't matter, she'll get over it like always."
Sigh. Yeah, I guess I will eventualy get past the bleeding, and things will scab over again, and I can wait to be knifed again.