(♥ to
inevendim)
I'm... sad.
Including being
anko's and Lily's last day (one of the aides) -- 11 kids from the preschool left today for kindergarten. Throughout the summer, a handful of kids have been leaving for kindergarten. It never hit me that they were actually gone, it felt more like summer vacation.
This last group was different. It was harder to say goodbye. For me, not for them - they couldn't wait to go to a new school. To them, it was just another day. But, I've known all of them for over a year. They were among the first that welcomed me to this job. Every week I got to share in their happiness, their sadness, and their frustration.
I let one of the kids use my camera to take pictures. After she was done (having taken about 50 or so), I looked through them. It was like looking at the world through her eyes. Not just the height aspect, but of what she saw everyday, and the people she took photos of. Nothing was posed, or nice and centered - it was all so genuine.
What I appreciate most about this job is the unconditional love these children give to you. On my first day, they would run up and give me a hug, without even having known my name.
I found out last week that a new aide was hired, and today was her first day. She shadowed me as I taught her the routine of the school. It was nostalgic. It just hit me at how much they've grown since I started. How much I've grown. I distinctly remember my first day: July 1, 2005. It was so overwhelming, and at the same time exciting.
I was able to memorize everyone's name within a few weeks - by the end of the month I had all 100+ names down (including those who left and the new kids who came in). It wasn't a burden - these kids make you want to remember them. The way they smile, the way they laugh, the way they scrunch up their face when they're angry at you.
The way they cry and hold up their arms to be held.
The way they tell a knock-knock joke (that doesn't make any sense at all).
The way they say your name even though it's wrong.
I asked to one of them, "Do you remember when you first came here? You didn't talk at all. You just took my hand and made me walk around the structure for the entire hour. And now look, you talk so much..."
"You told me already!" she said.
"But do you remember?"
She smiled, "Yes!"
A few days ago, another one of the kids came up to me, "When I leave, I won't miss you and you won't miss me."
"Nope, I won't miss you." I lied.
He paused, hugged me, and ran off to play.
Today, the memories ended with a good bunch of kids. A bunch of kids that I'll always remember, though they won't remember me. I think that's what hurts the most; how I could see them in 10 years and recognize their faces, but to them, I'll be a complete stranger.
As the old kids left, new ones are coming in. New ones filled with curiousity and questions. New ones to joke around with, to wipe away their tears, and to turn that frown upside-down. New ones with which to build new memories.
Until I have to say goodbye.
On a lighter aspect,
I got TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO SQUEEFUL packages today~ It made me so happy, and I've no idea how I could possibly do something worthy of them *o*
It's ironic how much Brand New Map accurately describes today.
♥ ♥ ♥ Thank you so much
alkhoon! ♥ ♥ ♥
And I'm going to eat at Santa Ramen with
anko,
happysky,
iwannabedowne tomorrow :3
[EDIT] How STUPID is
Livejournal to give us VOX LEFTOVERS? I was appalled by that, really. We don't get any new layouts, we get stuff that's already been made for Vox. Hurrah for hand-me-downs. >(