(no subject)
I just need to get this out. Because it's bottled up inside of me and it's driving me fucking insane.
Don't you hate the feeling of having something so close to you, but then you're afraid you're about to lose it? Don't you hate worrying about something that you really shouldn't be worrying about? I don't know why I feel this way...well I do, but that doesn't matter. I just wish I didn't care so much. Even though I really shouldn't be worrying about it, I still do. I'm still afraid that I could lose it. That things will change. Am I worthy? Am I everything that she deserves? Does she deserve better? Is there another girl that can make her happier? Should I be self conscious about her talking to her exes? I know I trust her, but I don't think I trust them. What are their intentions? Do they still have feelings? I keep seeing signs, texts, IMs, that make me wonder if they're still thinking about my girl and still have feelings for her. Like when she texted her saying that she misses my girlfriend and thinks about her. I don't understand why she had to say that. Look, I know my girlfriend loves me with all her heart. And I hope that she is being completely honest when she says I am the only one for her. I just don't want my jealousy to overcome me where I fuck things up. And I don't want anyone trying to come in the way. Because I know this is real love. I know I want her and only her. But I just wish that that stupid piece of shit bitch would fucking respect me when I asked her not to speak to her again. But that fucking cunt goes behind my back and does it anyway. Whatever.
If I ever meet her, if she ever comes here, I will fucking beat the shit out of her.
I love you, Steph.
Don't you hate the feeling of having something so close to you, but then you're afraid you're about to lose it? Don't you hate worrying about something that you really shouldn't be worrying about? I don't know why I feel this way...well I do, but that doesn't matter. I just wish I didn't care so much. Even though I really shouldn't be worrying about it, I still do. I'm still afraid that I could lose it. That things will change. Am I worthy? Am I everything that she deserves? Does she deserve better? Is there another girl that can make her happier? Should I be self conscious about her talking to her exes? I know I trust her, but I don't think I trust them. What are their intentions? Do they still have feelings? I keep seeing signs, texts, IMs, that make me wonder if they're still thinking about my girl and still have feelings for her. Like when she texted her saying that she misses my girlfriend and thinks about her. I don't understand why she had to say that. Look, I know my girlfriend loves me with all her heart. And I hope that she is being completely honest when she says I am the only one for her. I just don't want my jealousy to overcome me where I fuck things up. And I don't want anyone trying to come in the way. Because I know this is real love. I know I want her and only her. But I just wish that that stupid piece of shit bitch would fucking respect me when I asked her not to speak to her again. But that fucking cunt goes behind my back and does it anyway. Whatever.
If I ever meet her, if she ever comes here, I will fucking beat the shit out of her.
I love you, Steph.