Sexual orientation
Or "Why the Kinsey scale doesn't really work for me".
So, every so often someone posts a secret on Fandom!Secrets that says something like "I'm a lesbian, but Jack Harkness is so hot."
The comments usually go something like this:
If you'd sleep with Jack Harkness, you're not a lesbian, you're bisexual.
Oh, you think you know my sexuality better than I do?
The Kinsey scale. Learn it, bitches. You're a five.
No, I'm not, I'm a lesbian, I just think this one guy is really hot.
Is it so terrible to admit you're bisexual?
And so on and so forth. What gets me about the Kinsey scale is that it doesn't really break down what attraction is, or what sexuality is. My sexual preference isn't just a number on the line, because it's not a single preference. I need a whole lot of lines.
I made this grid with 'yes' and 'no' answers but it's something you could even do with numbers if you wanted more degrees or whatever.
So, is that bisexuality? Who the hell knows? We have three labels that we try to squish an endless combination of sexual preferences into, and these labels are supposed to serve both as identity labels and a one-word explanation of who you're into sexually, which is too much baggage for three little words to bear.
Identity-wise? I'm queer, and I don't feel the need to be more specific than that. I say 'lesbian' because it's the easiest way to explain to men that I won't want to sleep with them and women that it's a theoretical possiblity, but people will then still be confused on occasion when I suggest that I find a guy very pretty or see me hugging or holding hands with a male friend.
So, I don't know how to end this. I am not my label. Labels can never be comprehensive. There's always more than that.
So, every so often someone posts a secret on Fandom!Secrets that says something like "I'm a lesbian, but Jack Harkness is so hot."
The comments usually go something like this:
If you'd sleep with Jack Harkness, you're not a lesbian, you're bisexual.
Oh, you think you know my sexuality better than I do?
The Kinsey scale. Learn it, bitches. You're a five.
No, I'm not, I'm a lesbian, I just think this one guy is really hot.
Is it so terrible to admit you're bisexual?
And so on and so forth. What gets me about the Kinsey scale is that it doesn't really break down what attraction is, or what sexuality is. My sexual preference isn't just a number on the line, because it's not a single preference. I need a whole lot of lines.
I made this grid with 'yes' and 'no' answers but it's something you could even do with numbers if you wanted more degrees or whatever.
So, is that bisexuality? Who the hell knows? We have three labels that we try to squish an endless combination of sexual preferences into, and these labels are supposed to serve both as identity labels and a one-word explanation of who you're into sexually, which is too much baggage for three little words to bear.
Identity-wise? I'm queer, and I don't feel the need to be more specific than that. I say 'lesbian' because it's the easiest way to explain to men that I won't want to sleep with them and women that it's a theoretical possiblity, but people will then still be confused on occasion when I suggest that I find a guy very pretty or see me hugging or holding hands with a male friend.
So, I don't know how to end this. I am not my label. Labels can never be comprehensive. There's always more than that.