006 - Advertising?
I am not a member of any clergy. Whatever I said yesterday is of no consequence to anyone.
It has come to my attention that I will have to find employment here if I desire food on the table and a roof over my head. Going back to teaching your impertinent offspring is not what I deem an impressive career move, so as such I will be instead offering up my services as a Potions Master.
And before I receive any requests for my work, there are several things I wish to make perfectly clear:
1. NO LOVE POTIONS. If any silly teenage girls come up to me requesting potions to bewitch the minds of their equally obnoxious suitors, I will take this as a personal insult to myself and my craft, and take appropriate action.
2. WEREWOLVES PAY EXTRA. For those furry beasts who sincerely wish not to tear people limb from limb during the full moon, there is the Wolfsbane potion. However, due to extenuating circumstances, these will cost twice as much as anything else I may brew.
3. ANY PERSONAL INSULTS OR COMMENTS ABOUT THE "SOFT" BRANCH OF MAGIC WILL GET YOU NOTHING. Potions is just as if not more important than any other school of study. It has nothing to do with cooking. If anything it is closest to alchemy. In fact, that brings me to my fourth point.
4. I AM NOT A BARTENDER. Self-explanatory. If you are looking to intoxicate yourself, there are plenty of bars here, so I understand. Do not bother me with your alcoholism.
5. ALL RULES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE AS THIS WRITER SEES FIT.
...Very well. For the moment, I will entertain any questions you may or may not have.
It has come to my attention that I will have to find employment here if I desire food on the table and a roof over my head. Going back to teaching your impertinent offspring is not what I deem an impressive career move, so as such I will be instead offering up my services as a Potions Master.
And before I receive any requests for my work, there are several things I wish to make perfectly clear:
1. NO LOVE POTIONS. If any silly teenage girls come up to me requesting potions to bewitch the minds of their equally obnoxious suitors, I will take this as a personal insult to myself and my craft, and take appropriate action.
2. WEREWOLVES PAY EXTRA. For those furry beasts who sincerely wish not to tear people limb from limb during the full moon, there is the Wolfsbane potion. However, due to extenuating circumstances, these will cost twice as much as anything else I may brew.
3. ANY PERSONAL INSULTS OR COMMENTS ABOUT THE "SOFT" BRANCH OF MAGIC WILL GET YOU NOTHING. Potions is just as if not more important than any other school of study. It has nothing to do with cooking. If anything it is closest to alchemy. In fact, that brings me to my fourth point.
4. I AM NOT A BARTENDER. Self-explanatory. If you are looking to intoxicate yourself, there are plenty of bars here, so I understand. Do not bother me with your alcoholism.
5. ALL RULES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE AS THIS WRITER SEES FIT.
...Very well. For the moment, I will entertain any questions you may or may not have.