hm yeah
It feels kind of odd because me and eleni still sporadically talk in email and I feel like I dont know how to respond because its just kind of a weird feeling thing, I guess. Its weird too because I get the 'vibe' or whatever that shes just making small talk because she has to or is obliged to or something..because shell write me and just say something like 'what have you been up to?' so I say 'nothing, waiting for school, waiting for football season, same as usual nothing out of the ordinary, what about you?' and she wont write back. I dont understand, haha. So thats kind of weird. I dont know what thats all about. I think she doesnt want to talk to me or anything, which is fine and I can deal with that, but I hope she aint trying to talk to me because she thinks she has to, or something superficial like that. Its weird.
I went to a party and she took off and told me she would cry if she saw me. I dont know what thats all about either, I dont know whether to believe that or not. Usually ex's see me and either flip me off or pretend not to know me, so yeah. Man, I must totally wreck girls or something. If the relationship ends, they cant stand me, even if I try to apologize and talk to them, or I try to cut them out of my life and ignore them, they still have this weird stigma towards me or something.
So my problem is I think I wanna ignore these emails because if its that bad, to the point where if she sees me in public somewhere she will like, collapse and cry, then I would rather her not have any contact with me until she can at least handle saying hi to me without freaking out. I think its bad that after knowing someone for so long they cant even stand the sight of me. Especially eleni, who always said if we broke up that were best friends and she still would want to be cool with me.
I guess it takes time and everyone is different. I still feel shitty for things, but im a grown up, im fine now. I had my whiny time and got the bitching and moping out of my system, I have reached homeostasis. haha. I definately dont want to lose one of my best friends, though. I didnt waste my whole life with a crush on someone, then dating them for almost 3 years, to just cut them out of my life. I think that we both know that we werent wasting each others time. Well, I only speak for myself.
But am I a dick if I ignore her emails? Is it better to respond? Shit boggles my mind.
ON A GOOD NOTE, SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW AND I AM DAMN EXCITED BECAUSE IM A FUCKIN NERD!!!!
I get to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn and take anatomy. Then I got the classical mind. Stimulate yo mind craiiiig!
I went to a party and she took off and told me she would cry if she saw me. I dont know what thats all about either, I dont know whether to believe that or not. Usually ex's see me and either flip me off or pretend not to know me, so yeah. Man, I must totally wreck girls or something. If the relationship ends, they cant stand me, even if I try to apologize and talk to them, or I try to cut them out of my life and ignore them, they still have this weird stigma towards me or something.
So my problem is I think I wanna ignore these emails because if its that bad, to the point where if she sees me in public somewhere she will like, collapse and cry, then I would rather her not have any contact with me until she can at least handle saying hi to me without freaking out. I think its bad that after knowing someone for so long they cant even stand the sight of me. Especially eleni, who always said if we broke up that were best friends and she still would want to be cool with me.
I guess it takes time and everyone is different. I still feel shitty for things, but im a grown up, im fine now. I had my whiny time and got the bitching and moping out of my system, I have reached homeostasis. haha. I definately dont want to lose one of my best friends, though. I didnt waste my whole life with a crush on someone, then dating them for almost 3 years, to just cut them out of my life. I think that we both know that we werent wasting each others time. Well, I only speak for myself.
But am I a dick if I ignore her emails? Is it better to respond? Shit boggles my mind.
ON A GOOD NOTE, SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW AND I AM DAMN EXCITED BECAUSE IM A FUCKIN NERD!!!!
I get to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn and take anatomy. Then I got the classical mind. Stimulate yo mind craiiiig!