Fic: Six Easy Steps, The OC/Joan of Arcadia
Title: Six Easy Steps
Fandom: The OC/Joan of Arcadia
Character: Summer Roberts, Joan Girardi
Rating: G
Summary: “Is it weird that I’m finding God hot?”
Notes: Not a TON of prior knowledge of either fandom is needed, but basically, Joan talks to God. He tells her to do stuff. Most of the time it works out well, however it has caused her life issues. Summer is awesome.
She ends up at the University of Maryland, mostly because it was really, really far away from Berkeley and stupid, assy Seth Cohen. At the time, packing up and moving across the country seemed like a great idea because seriously, who cheats on Summer Roberts? Certainly not Seth Cohen. When you're Seth Cohen and you're dating Summer Roberts, you thank your lucky stars EVERY DAY. You do not cheat on her with some stupid skank.
It had been a good thing, at first. But now she was firmly in the middle of her first semester with no friends and no understanding of Chemistry, and she was actually looking FORWARD to going home to Newport for Thanksgiving, even if it meant she'd see stupid, assy Cohen. Marissa never updates her on Seth when she calls, not that she calls very often anymore. Marissa had made new friends in about five minutes, belonged to a bajillion clubs and was a proud member of Kappa Sucka Sucka or whatever the hell the name of that dumb sorority was. Summer stayed in her room and listened to the motivational tape that Julie Cooper had sent before forcing her father to take some horrible, two month long cruise which meant that Summer wasn't going home for Thanksgiving after all. The tape was called, Making Friends in 6 Easy Steps: The Power of A Positive Chi!
Try as she might, Summer's Chi was pretty firmly stuck at "Oh God, I Hate My Life."
Surprisingly enough, Ryan was the only one who really kept in touch with her. He called her every Sunday night, made thin excuses for Marissa, and didn't talk about Seth, even she when she hinted for him to. He just told her about his classes, and asked her about hers, and said he just wanted to check in / just wanted to see how she was / just wanted to say hi / Just wanted to remind her that Kirsten and Sandy would love if she'd have Thanksgiving with them, and they'd make Seth eat in the pool house if she wanted. She had giggled at that but politely declined, and gotten the feeling that Ryan was about as lonely as she was by the disappointment in his voice when he said goodbye.
------------
Step One: Positive Thinking Means Positive Living. When you put out good vibes, people will latch onto your positive energy.
She's failing Chemistry, and it sucks. Not that she's helping matters much by staring at the girl who's sitting next to her. Summer's pretty sure the girl is just as lost as she is, because she's currently snapping her gum and fiddling with a long scarf in an effort to stay awake. She's also wearing a really kick ass vintage skirt, and Summer has no idea what the chaos theory is, so she breathes in deeply, harnesses the power of her Chi, and leans over to whisper, "Nice skirt."
The girl whirls around and stares at her accusingly. "We have talked about this, and I said NOT AT SCHOOL," she hisses out.
Well, that went well.
"Oh, I just . . .I just liked your skirt."
Immediately, the harsh look on the girl's face falls, and she rolls her eyes. "Oh, sorry! I thought you were . . .someone else. I'm Joan."
"Summer," she says, a little warily, regarding Joan out the corner of her eye. God, it would be her luck to find the one nut job at this school. Then Joan smiles, a real smile that lights up her whole face, and says, "Great shoes."
Well. She seems sane enough.
Step Two: Always be forgiving of bad first impressions. Everyone deserves a second chance.
"Look, sorry about before," the girl says as class ends, "I was up all night studying and I haven't had anything to eat and I'm pretty sure that the moon is some kind of wacky house. Or Mercury is being retro, or whatever."
Well. Here goes nothing. Even a maybe crazy friend is better than no friend at all.
"If you‘ve been up all night, you need coffee," Summer says tentatively. "And pancakes! You do like pancakes, right?"
"I‘m not that crazy," the girl replies with a smile, and then sticks out her hand. "I'm Joan."
"Summer."
"Come on, I know this great little place off campus, I'll drive!"
With that, she turns on her heel and bounces up the steps, her kick-ass skirt swishing. So, fine, Julie Cooper's stupid book was right about ONE THING. Whatever.
Step Three: Everyone has at least one shared interest. Do your best to find some common ground!
"Seriously," Joan says as she sips her coffee, "I'm sorry about before. I thought you were . . . I just get . . ."
"I get rage blackouts!" Summer volunteers before remembering that Seth told her not to share that fact with new people. Then she remembers that she hates Seth now, so it's not like it matters anyway.
"What's that like?" Joan asks quizzically.
"Mostly . . .angry. And mostly in reaction to a certain stupid boy with dumb hair, so I wouldn't worry."
"Oh! I have one of those! Well, had. Mine ended kind of horribly."
"Hey, mine too!"
"Mine was a stupid, dirty cheater," Joan says, somewhat sadly.
"Oh my god - " she starts, just as Joan's head whips around, her eyes searching the room.
"Um, sorry. I am really . . . so, where are you from?"
"California. Newport," Summer says a little warily. Not that she's one to judge the psychosis of others, but still, awesome skirt or no, she doesn't want to end up some Lifetime Movie, all Death Of A Co-Ed, or whatever.
"Oh, wow. Beaches and sunshine year round? I'd burn to a crisp. Happily."
"I loved it. It was always sunny and pretty and everything was really . . .well, overdramatic and fake, really. But the weather was nice. What about you?"
"I can be overdramatic, but I don't think I'm really fake. I mean, these aren't my real nails, but my roommate is kind of insanely girly and she was all, "Oh, manicure!" And I was all, "Well, okay," because I haven't made a lot of friends yet, you know?"
Summer giggles. "I . . .do. I spend every weekend on the phone to my best friend's ex-boyfriend, because he's the only one who ever calls me. But I was asking where you were from."
"Oh!" Joan looks at her for a second, and they both break out in giggles that earn stares from the other customers.
"I'm from here. Maryland. Arcadia, Maryland."
-------
That Friday, Joan asks Summer if she'd like to come watch movies in her dorm room, since the overly girly roommate was going home for the weekend.
"I would. But I have a better idea," she replies with a grin.
--------
"This is FRIGGIN INSANE," Joan gasps as she walks into Summer's apartment. "Are you like a trust fund kid? Do you have a sex tape? I mean, I'm not judging if you have a sex tape."
"Oh please, sex tapes are SO last year. I have a plastic surgeon dad who has a hot new wife, and residual guilt over ditching me while he hops around the known universe with her. Plus, they screwed up the room assignments, and my roommate was this total goth guy with really tragic hair who hated me, and I'm pretty sure he kept stealing my gum."
Joan stares at her for a minute before visibly shaking her head. "Good enough for me, she says hurriedly. Did you decorate this place?"
"Yeah. I like power tools!"
"I built a boat once!"
"Really?"
"Kind of. My brother built a rail gun."
"That sounds geeky."
"Yeah, it totally was. But it also kind of blew up the science fair, which was awesome."
"He blew it up. Like, blew. it. up?!"
"It was pretty amazing. Feathers went everywhere. That was the first time I kissed my stupid boy with dumb hair. It was kind of perfect, actually."
"I kissed mine at some boring party. I totally didn't want to, but he was talking about the poor, skinny squirrel and my mermaid poem and I just kind of had to, you know?"
"I do. I mean, I didn‘t understand most of that sentence but I really, really do."
They both sigh at the same time, and Joan rolls her eyes.
"Do you have ice cream?"
"Like I wouldn't," Summer replies as she heads for the kitchen. "Hey," she calls over her shoulder, "after this, do you want to see my closet?"
"Like I wouldn't!"
Step Four: Don't sweat the small stuff! Everyone has their little disagreements, and in the end it might just strengthen your new friendship!
On Monday morning, Summer sees Joan standing by a tree outside of their Chem class. As she gets closer, she also sees that Joan is yelling at her former goth roommate.
"You said you'd leave me alone! Look, I tried and I couldn't do it, don't drag more people into this!"
"Into what?" Summer says as she reaches the tree. "What's going on? Do you know Percy?"
"PERCY?" Joan screams in his general direction. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"
She whips around so fast that Summer doesn't even have time to think before Joan‘s hands are gripping her arms, just a little too hard for comfort.
"You can see him? Has he ever, like, TALKED to you? Told you to do stuff? Summer, look just ignore anything he says, okay?"
Well. She's pretty thoroughly creeped out now. "What do you mean? Of course I can see him! He's not THAT pale, Joan. All he ever told me was to keep my hands off of his eyeliner, and it's not like I'd ever use Wet N Wild anyway."
"Hey!" Percy says indignantly.
"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" Joan yells. Her face is red and she's shaking a little and one hand is still gripping Summer's arm. "We are THROUGH. You PROMISED!"
Percy walks off without another word, just a little wave over his shoulder, and Joan collapses in on herself, dropping Summer's arm like she hadn't even realized it was in her hand.
"Joan?" she says tentatively. "Look, I didn't you know you two had dated. I mean, I guess you win in the stupid hair category and all, but . . ." she trails off when Joan fails to react with anything but a sniffle. "Joan?"
After a second, Joan turns towards her, eyes red and choking back tears.
"Summer? I'm sorry." With that, she turns and walks the other way, and Summer doesn't see her in Chem class for almost two weeks.
Step Five: Open up! A true friend will accept you, flaws and all.
When Summer opens her door at midnight on the day after Thanksgiving, she finds Joan holding up a foil wrapped plate.
"I bring turkey as a peace offering. I was going for festive. My brother's girlfriend said I should bring you a blanket full of small pox, but I didn't really get that."
"Me either. Is there pie? We always have a pie for Thanksgiving."
"Homemade Apple."
Summer only hesitates for a moment before throwing the door open.
"Fine. But you're not borrowing my Chem notes."
"But I brought you pie!"
--------
Three hours later, they're stuffed with turkey, pie, and the red wine Summer had swiped from her dad's collection before she left for college. It was his favorite. She was petty, but she was okay with that. In fact, she was more than okay at the moment, since everything was pleasantly floaty and Joan was currently singing along, quite badly, to "Somewhere Over The Rainbow."
"I love this part," Joan said sleepily.
"What, the beginning?"
"Well, there are no flying monkeys. Those are kind of creepy."
"Not as creepy as Oompa Loompas. Little orange bastards."
"Or koalas."
"Wait, what?"
"Only if they're in hats."
"You," Summer said, giggling, "have had too much wine. I would take away your glass, but I've had too much wine too."
Joan joins in her laughter, flinging her head against the back of the sofa. It takes Summer a second to realize that she's stopped laughing and started crying, and before she can think of anything to say, Joan blurted out, "I never dated Percy. I mean, so not my type, but besides that, I . . ." she trails off, and then brings her head back level with Summer, turning to look her in the eyes.
"Summer? I talk to God."
"Well you don't have to CRY about it! It's cool if you're religious! Joan, were you afraid I'd freak out? I'm very tolerant of other people's religion! Even the crazy, made up ones!"
Joan gives a sad little laugh and says, "No, Summer. I don't just mean I talk to God. I mean I TALK to God. Or, well, actually? He talks to me."
"We . . .have had too much wine, Joan."
"Summer."
Something in her voice made Summer pause. Joan was looking at her with big, serious, sad eyes, and not smiling even a little bit. It could have been the wine, it could have been the crazy, but she was pretty sure Joan was serious.
Well. This was new. For all the asshatery Seth Cohen put her through, at least he never hallucinated. Well, delusions of grandeur, and all, but that wasn't exactly on an "I talk to God!" level.
Oh, God. Joan thought she talked to God. This was way too much God for Summer to handle.
"Look, Joan, it's okay. I believe that you think you talk to God. It doesn't freak me! Well, okay, it freaks me, but it doesn't freak me to the point where we're not friends anymore. We'll talk about it tomorrow, when there's less wine and more pedicures. Trust me, those make everything better."
"Summer," Joan looks a little sick.
"I really wish you'd stop saying my name like that."
"Look, it's just that . . .I thought it was over, okay? I didn't ask for it. I don't know why it's me of all people, or why it's happening or when it will stop. I just know that it's happening."
Okay, so maybe she lied. Maybe she is freaked.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because Percy? He isn't a student here. He's God."
Summer looked at her for a second, waiting for the punch line, or for Joan to laugh, or give up on the joke. But all she saw was Joan, looking at her so openly it made her a little uncomfortable.
She opened her mouth to suggest some sleep and therapy, but what came out was simply, "God is a goth?"
Joan smiled a little uncertainly at that, relief washing across her face. "Not always. He shows up as lots of different people. One time, he was a drummer."
"Eww!"
Rule Six: Keep your friendship fresh. Consider hobbies and activities you can share with your new friend.
Joan is leading her towards a cute guy in a brown jacket, leaning against a tree and surveying the crowds outside the student union.
"That's God?"
"Today. This is what he looked like the first time he talked to me."
"Is it weird that I'm finding God hot?"
"I don't know," Joan says, cocking her head to the side. "That never really goes away."
"Oh. Great."
Joan turns to her, looking at her searchingly. "Are you sure?"
Summer smiles, and links arms with Joan. "What else am I going to do? Homework?"
Joan laughs, and they draw to a stop in front of Hottie God, who's looking at her in a very intent and unnerving way.
"Does he always do that?" she whispers to Joan.
Joan doesn't answer. She just squeezes Summer's arm a bit tighter, turns to face Hottie God, and says, "This is Summer Roberts. She wants to join the fight."
Fandom: The OC/Joan of Arcadia
Character: Summer Roberts, Joan Girardi
Rating: G
Summary: “Is it weird that I’m finding God hot?”
Notes: Not a TON of prior knowledge of either fandom is needed, but basically, Joan talks to God. He tells her to do stuff. Most of the time it works out well, however it has caused her life issues. Summer is awesome.
She ends up at the University of Maryland, mostly because it was really, really far away from Berkeley and stupid, assy Seth Cohen. At the time, packing up and moving across the country seemed like a great idea because seriously, who cheats on Summer Roberts? Certainly not Seth Cohen. When you're Seth Cohen and you're dating Summer Roberts, you thank your lucky stars EVERY DAY. You do not cheat on her with some stupid skank.
It had been a good thing, at first. But now she was firmly in the middle of her first semester with no friends and no understanding of Chemistry, and she was actually looking FORWARD to going home to Newport for Thanksgiving, even if it meant she'd see stupid, assy Cohen. Marissa never updates her on Seth when she calls, not that she calls very often anymore. Marissa had made new friends in about five minutes, belonged to a bajillion clubs and was a proud member of Kappa Sucka Sucka or whatever the hell the name of that dumb sorority was. Summer stayed in her room and listened to the motivational tape that Julie Cooper had sent before forcing her father to take some horrible, two month long cruise which meant that Summer wasn't going home for Thanksgiving after all. The tape was called, Making Friends in 6 Easy Steps: The Power of A Positive Chi!
Try as she might, Summer's Chi was pretty firmly stuck at "Oh God, I Hate My Life."
Surprisingly enough, Ryan was the only one who really kept in touch with her. He called her every Sunday night, made thin excuses for Marissa, and didn't talk about Seth, even she when she hinted for him to. He just told her about his classes, and asked her about hers, and said he just wanted to check in / just wanted to see how she was / just wanted to say hi / Just wanted to remind her that Kirsten and Sandy would love if she'd have Thanksgiving with them, and they'd make Seth eat in the pool house if she wanted. She had giggled at that but politely declined, and gotten the feeling that Ryan was about as lonely as she was by the disappointment in his voice when he said goodbye.
------------
Step One: Positive Thinking Means Positive Living. When you put out good vibes, people will latch onto your positive energy.
She's failing Chemistry, and it sucks. Not that she's helping matters much by staring at the girl who's sitting next to her. Summer's pretty sure the girl is just as lost as she is, because she's currently snapping her gum and fiddling with a long scarf in an effort to stay awake. She's also wearing a really kick ass vintage skirt, and Summer has no idea what the chaos theory is, so she breathes in deeply, harnesses the power of her Chi, and leans over to whisper, "Nice skirt."
The girl whirls around and stares at her accusingly. "We have talked about this, and I said NOT AT SCHOOL," she hisses out.
Well, that went well.
"Oh, I just . . .I just liked your skirt."
Immediately, the harsh look on the girl's face falls, and she rolls her eyes. "Oh, sorry! I thought you were . . .someone else. I'm Joan."
"Summer," she says, a little warily, regarding Joan out the corner of her eye. God, it would be her luck to find the one nut job at this school. Then Joan smiles, a real smile that lights up her whole face, and says, "Great shoes."
Well. She seems sane enough.
Step Two: Always be forgiving of bad first impressions. Everyone deserves a second chance.
"Look, sorry about before," the girl says as class ends, "I was up all night studying and I haven't had anything to eat and I'm pretty sure that the moon is some kind of wacky house. Or Mercury is being retro, or whatever."
Well. Here goes nothing. Even a maybe crazy friend is better than no friend at all.
"If you‘ve been up all night, you need coffee," Summer says tentatively. "And pancakes! You do like pancakes, right?"
"I‘m not that crazy," the girl replies with a smile, and then sticks out her hand. "I'm Joan."
"Summer."
"Come on, I know this great little place off campus, I'll drive!"
With that, she turns on her heel and bounces up the steps, her kick-ass skirt swishing. So, fine, Julie Cooper's stupid book was right about ONE THING. Whatever.
Step Three: Everyone has at least one shared interest. Do your best to find some common ground!
"Seriously," Joan says as she sips her coffee, "I'm sorry about before. I thought you were . . . I just get . . ."
"I get rage blackouts!" Summer volunteers before remembering that Seth told her not to share that fact with new people. Then she remembers that she hates Seth now, so it's not like it matters anyway.
"What's that like?" Joan asks quizzically.
"Mostly . . .angry. And mostly in reaction to a certain stupid boy with dumb hair, so I wouldn't worry."
"Oh! I have one of those! Well, had. Mine ended kind of horribly."
"Hey, mine too!"
"Mine was a stupid, dirty cheater," Joan says, somewhat sadly.
"Oh my god - " she starts, just as Joan's head whips around, her eyes searching the room.
"Um, sorry. I am really . . . so, where are you from?"
"California. Newport," Summer says a little warily. Not that she's one to judge the psychosis of others, but still, awesome skirt or no, she doesn't want to end up some Lifetime Movie, all Death Of A Co-Ed, or whatever.
"Oh, wow. Beaches and sunshine year round? I'd burn to a crisp. Happily."
"I loved it. It was always sunny and pretty and everything was really . . .well, overdramatic and fake, really. But the weather was nice. What about you?"
"I can be overdramatic, but I don't think I'm really fake. I mean, these aren't my real nails, but my roommate is kind of insanely girly and she was all, "Oh, manicure!" And I was all, "Well, okay," because I haven't made a lot of friends yet, you know?"
Summer giggles. "I . . .do. I spend every weekend on the phone to my best friend's ex-boyfriend, because he's the only one who ever calls me. But I was asking where you were from."
"Oh!" Joan looks at her for a second, and they both break out in giggles that earn stares from the other customers.
"I'm from here. Maryland. Arcadia, Maryland."
-------
That Friday, Joan asks Summer if she'd like to come watch movies in her dorm room, since the overly girly roommate was going home for the weekend.
"I would. But I have a better idea," she replies with a grin.
--------
"This is FRIGGIN INSANE," Joan gasps as she walks into Summer's apartment. "Are you like a trust fund kid? Do you have a sex tape? I mean, I'm not judging if you have a sex tape."
"Oh please, sex tapes are SO last year. I have a plastic surgeon dad who has a hot new wife, and residual guilt over ditching me while he hops around the known universe with her. Plus, they screwed up the room assignments, and my roommate was this total goth guy with really tragic hair who hated me, and I'm pretty sure he kept stealing my gum."
Joan stares at her for a minute before visibly shaking her head. "Good enough for me, she says hurriedly. Did you decorate this place?"
"Yeah. I like power tools!"
"I built a boat once!"
"Really?"
"Kind of. My brother built a rail gun."
"That sounds geeky."
"Yeah, it totally was. But it also kind of blew up the science fair, which was awesome."
"He blew it up. Like, blew. it. up?!"
"It was pretty amazing. Feathers went everywhere. That was the first time I kissed my stupid boy with dumb hair. It was kind of perfect, actually."
"I kissed mine at some boring party. I totally didn't want to, but he was talking about the poor, skinny squirrel and my mermaid poem and I just kind of had to, you know?"
"I do. I mean, I didn‘t understand most of that sentence but I really, really do."
They both sigh at the same time, and Joan rolls her eyes.
"Do you have ice cream?"
"Like I wouldn't," Summer replies as she heads for the kitchen. "Hey," she calls over her shoulder, "after this, do you want to see my closet?"
"Like I wouldn't!"
Step Four: Don't sweat the small stuff! Everyone has their little disagreements, and in the end it might just strengthen your new friendship!
On Monday morning, Summer sees Joan standing by a tree outside of their Chem class. As she gets closer, she also sees that Joan is yelling at her former goth roommate.
"You said you'd leave me alone! Look, I tried and I couldn't do it, don't drag more people into this!"
"Into what?" Summer says as she reaches the tree. "What's going on? Do you know Percy?"
"PERCY?" Joan screams in his general direction. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"
She whips around so fast that Summer doesn't even have time to think before Joan‘s hands are gripping her arms, just a little too hard for comfort.
"You can see him? Has he ever, like, TALKED to you? Told you to do stuff? Summer, look just ignore anything he says, okay?"
Well. She's pretty thoroughly creeped out now. "What do you mean? Of course I can see him! He's not THAT pale, Joan. All he ever told me was to keep my hands off of his eyeliner, and it's not like I'd ever use Wet N Wild anyway."
"Hey!" Percy says indignantly.
"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" Joan yells. Her face is red and she's shaking a little and one hand is still gripping Summer's arm. "We are THROUGH. You PROMISED!"
Percy walks off without another word, just a little wave over his shoulder, and Joan collapses in on herself, dropping Summer's arm like she hadn't even realized it was in her hand.
"Joan?" she says tentatively. "Look, I didn't you know you two had dated. I mean, I guess you win in the stupid hair category and all, but . . ." she trails off when Joan fails to react with anything but a sniffle. "Joan?"
After a second, Joan turns towards her, eyes red and choking back tears.
"Summer? I'm sorry." With that, she turns and walks the other way, and Summer doesn't see her in Chem class for almost two weeks.
Step Five: Open up! A true friend will accept you, flaws and all.
When Summer opens her door at midnight on the day after Thanksgiving, she finds Joan holding up a foil wrapped plate.
"I bring turkey as a peace offering. I was going for festive. My brother's girlfriend said I should bring you a blanket full of small pox, but I didn't really get that."
"Me either. Is there pie? We always have a pie for Thanksgiving."
"Homemade Apple."
Summer only hesitates for a moment before throwing the door open.
"Fine. But you're not borrowing my Chem notes."
"But I brought you pie!"
--------
Three hours later, they're stuffed with turkey, pie, and the red wine Summer had swiped from her dad's collection before she left for college. It was his favorite. She was petty, but she was okay with that. In fact, she was more than okay at the moment, since everything was pleasantly floaty and Joan was currently singing along, quite badly, to "Somewhere Over The Rainbow."
"I love this part," Joan said sleepily.
"What, the beginning?"
"Well, there are no flying monkeys. Those are kind of creepy."
"Not as creepy as Oompa Loompas. Little orange bastards."
"Or koalas."
"Wait, what?"
"Only if they're in hats."
"You," Summer said, giggling, "have had too much wine. I would take away your glass, but I've had too much wine too."
Joan joins in her laughter, flinging her head against the back of the sofa. It takes Summer a second to realize that she's stopped laughing and started crying, and before she can think of anything to say, Joan blurted out, "I never dated Percy. I mean, so not my type, but besides that, I . . ." she trails off, and then brings her head back level with Summer, turning to look her in the eyes.
"Summer? I talk to God."
"Well you don't have to CRY about it! It's cool if you're religious! Joan, were you afraid I'd freak out? I'm very tolerant of other people's religion! Even the crazy, made up ones!"
Joan gives a sad little laugh and says, "No, Summer. I don't just mean I talk to God. I mean I TALK to God. Or, well, actually? He talks to me."
"We . . .have had too much wine, Joan."
"Summer."
Something in her voice made Summer pause. Joan was looking at her with big, serious, sad eyes, and not smiling even a little bit. It could have been the wine, it could have been the crazy, but she was pretty sure Joan was serious.
Well. This was new. For all the asshatery Seth Cohen put her through, at least he never hallucinated. Well, delusions of grandeur, and all, but that wasn't exactly on an "I talk to God!" level.
Oh, God. Joan thought she talked to God. This was way too much God for Summer to handle.
"Look, Joan, it's okay. I believe that you think you talk to God. It doesn't freak me! Well, okay, it freaks me, but it doesn't freak me to the point where we're not friends anymore. We'll talk about it tomorrow, when there's less wine and more pedicures. Trust me, those make everything better."
"Summer," Joan looks a little sick.
"I really wish you'd stop saying my name like that."
"Look, it's just that . . .I thought it was over, okay? I didn't ask for it. I don't know why it's me of all people, or why it's happening or when it will stop. I just know that it's happening."
Okay, so maybe she lied. Maybe she is freaked.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because Percy? He isn't a student here. He's God."
Summer looked at her for a second, waiting for the punch line, or for Joan to laugh, or give up on the joke. But all she saw was Joan, looking at her so openly it made her a little uncomfortable.
She opened her mouth to suggest some sleep and therapy, but what came out was simply, "God is a goth?"
Joan smiled a little uncertainly at that, relief washing across her face. "Not always. He shows up as lots of different people. One time, he was a drummer."
"Eww!"
Rule Six: Keep your friendship fresh. Consider hobbies and activities you can share with your new friend.
Joan is leading her towards a cute guy in a brown jacket, leaning against a tree and surveying the crowds outside the student union.
"That's God?"
"Today. This is what he looked like the first time he talked to me."
"Is it weird that I'm finding God hot?"
"I don't know," Joan says, cocking her head to the side. "That never really goes away."
"Oh. Great."
Joan turns to her, looking at her searchingly. "Are you sure?"
Summer smiles, and links arms with Joan. "What else am I going to do? Homework?"
Joan laughs, and they draw to a stop in front of Hottie God, who's looking at her in a very intent and unnerving way.
"Does he always do that?" she whispers to Joan.
Joan doesn't answer. She just squeezes Summer's arm a bit tighter, turns to face Hottie God, and says, "This is Summer Roberts. She wants to join the fight."