Ficlet: In Plain Sight, 'Steps', G
disclaimer: not mine
fandom: In Plain Sight
character study: Brandi Shannon
spoilers: er, mid-season two?
length: 500 words
rating: G
summary: Brandi is trying to learn to change herself.
Steps
by ALC Punk!
Change is something that has to come from within. Brandi Shannon has read that in a dozen different self-help books. None of them have really done her any good. Sometimes, though, that sort of thing takes a life-changing event. The problem is: where to go from there.
"There's something about riding the bus," Brandi says it without much inflection. She doesn't elaborate, either.
Mary's always been disinterested in her life, it's not like she really expects that to change. "Yeah?"
"Don't know what it is." It's something to say, to fill the silence. Brandi thinks she's always been full of nothing. Just a blank slate, waiting for the next person to write their expectations on her. She's tired of that, but she's not sure she knows how go about effecting change. Change is new and different, hard. Brandi's never really been good at hard. No one's ever believed she could do hard.
Like always, Mary doesn't answer.
There are things Brandi wants to say, but she doesn't know how to put them into words. Not without sounding like the fool she's always been. I saved a man's life. It sounds so trite, when she's not sitting in the plastic hospital chair, waiting to find out he's dead. A nobody, like me...
It's not like Mary would understand the feeling that she was useful--Mary's always been useful, always had to take responsibility. She only knows Brandi as a screw-up and a failure; a spoiled brat just waiting for her next pay-out. Brandi finishes her cereal in silence, dumping the bowl in the sink and running water into it. Would it kill you to notice me? But the answer is that Mary does notice her: as an annoying pain in the butt.
"I should go--bus comes soon." She says it too fast and wishes she'd slowed down, not sounded like a sulky kid waiting for cookies.
"Hey, Squish?" Mary looks at her with something that vaguely unsettles Brandi. Maybe it bothers her, too. She reaches up and shoves her hair back from her face. "Was there something you wanted to talk about?"
Yes. "It's nothing." Brandi flaps a hand, "It's lame. I gotta--" she stops, "Look, I just. I want you to know I am trying to grow up."
There are a dozen sarcastic things Mary could say to that. "Ok. Good."
"And I'm not going to be a burden forever," empty promises again. Brandi winces a little, "I'm just--I'm gonna do it." Which is confusing and probably makes no sense to Mary, but that's ok.
"That's great, Squish." Mary really has no idea what she's talking about. Brandi's ok with that. "Shouldn't you go?"
"Yeah. Buses." With a shrug, Brandi reaches out and hugs Mary, feeling her sister go stiff before pulling back. "See ya later, gator."
One day, she'll know how to talk to her sister. One day, Mary will look at her with pride. Until then, Brandi doesn't expect things to change. So she'll just have to take this one step at a time.
-f-
fandom: In Plain Sight
character study: Brandi Shannon
spoilers: er, mid-season two?
length: 500 words
rating: G
summary: Brandi is trying to learn to change herself.
Steps
by ALC Punk!
Change is something that has to come from within. Brandi Shannon has read that in a dozen different self-help books. None of them have really done her any good. Sometimes, though, that sort of thing takes a life-changing event. The problem is: where to go from there.
"There's something about riding the bus," Brandi says it without much inflection. She doesn't elaborate, either.
Mary's always been disinterested in her life, it's not like she really expects that to change. "Yeah?"
"Don't know what it is." It's something to say, to fill the silence. Brandi thinks she's always been full of nothing. Just a blank slate, waiting for the next person to write their expectations on her. She's tired of that, but she's not sure she knows how go about effecting change. Change is new and different, hard. Brandi's never really been good at hard. No one's ever believed she could do hard.
Like always, Mary doesn't answer.
There are things Brandi wants to say, but she doesn't know how to put them into words. Not without sounding like the fool she's always been. I saved a man's life. It sounds so trite, when she's not sitting in the plastic hospital chair, waiting to find out he's dead. A nobody, like me...
It's not like Mary would understand the feeling that she was useful--Mary's always been useful, always had to take responsibility. She only knows Brandi as a screw-up and a failure; a spoiled brat just waiting for her next pay-out. Brandi finishes her cereal in silence, dumping the bowl in the sink and running water into it. Would it kill you to notice me? But the answer is that Mary does notice her: as an annoying pain in the butt.
"I should go--bus comes soon." She says it too fast and wishes she'd slowed down, not sounded like a sulky kid waiting for cookies.
"Hey, Squish?" Mary looks at her with something that vaguely unsettles Brandi. Maybe it bothers her, too. She reaches up and shoves her hair back from her face. "Was there something you wanted to talk about?"
Yes. "It's nothing." Brandi flaps a hand, "It's lame. I gotta--" she stops, "Look, I just. I want you to know I am trying to grow up."
There are a dozen sarcastic things Mary could say to that. "Ok. Good."
"And I'm not going to be a burden forever," empty promises again. Brandi winces a little, "I'm just--I'm gonna do it." Which is confusing and probably makes no sense to Mary, but that's ok.
"That's great, Squish." Mary really has no idea what she's talking about. Brandi's ok with that. "Shouldn't you go?"
"Yeah. Buses." With a shrug, Brandi reaches out and hugs Mary, feeling her sister go stiff before pulling back. "See ya later, gator."
One day, she'll know how to talk to her sister. One day, Mary will look at her with pride. Until then, Brandi doesn't expect things to change. So she'll just have to take this one step at a time.
-f-