Tonight...
So I have been talking to a few people, and they claim that I have fallen "head over heels in love" with a particular girl... And it may be true.
But define 'love' for me..... I'll wait, go ahead.....
Exactly my point. It is different for everyone. And it never applies to more than on person - it is always different.
Intangible ideas suck. Faith. Hope. Love. Peace. Thought. Belief. Knowledge. They cannot be explained consecutively without error. For example, I can easily tell you all about water. Chemical composition. Mixtures. Texture. Temperature. It can all be described without error by many people - but intangibles cannot.
So now I present a problem. I'm currently kind of dating another person. I say kind of because I talked to her tonight and we came to terms that we would put things on hold for three weeks. On hold meaning that we won't do anything other than talk on the phone - and even that is sporadic. Anyway... So I can't make the person I am currently dating feel bad. It isn't in my personality. I'm not like that. There is no way that I can straight up walk up to another person and say, "Hey, I like someone else more than you... So yeah... This is what I think has to happen..." - it cannot be done by me. I have now realized that I have been close to this same exact situation before (and I apologize indefinitely for not doing what I now know I should have - I would play the 'young and stupid' card here, but I don't see it as an excuse). But I am supposed to have learned from past experiences, correct? Well, now replace the person that I am dating with one of my best friends in the world. I still care about her, worry about her safety and success, share many concerns for her, and want to help her in every way. How am I supposed to change that... Because I fear if I do cause things between us to go bad, I know I will never forgive myself. She does not deserve this. I don't know how to go about it... She means too much to me. But yet yeah...
So here I guess I just needed to debate with myself for a little bit... Maybe what is happening now will work itself out to be what is supposed to happen, and I pray that it does. But I also pray that we will remain the best of friends - despite how hard I know that will most likely be between us. It has happened before, so I know it can happen. And I am willing to make it work. At the same time, I know it will be awkward for a while. I've never been good at these situations though... So I also pray for strength....
I now pray that I will be able to get my homework done now that these thoughts may be off my mind for a while... And also that I can get a decent amount of sleep - as it would help out immensely.
Comment if you wish.... Or if you don't...
But define 'love' for me..... I'll wait, go ahead.....
Exactly my point. It is different for everyone. And it never applies to more than on person - it is always different.
Intangible ideas suck. Faith. Hope. Love. Peace. Thought. Belief. Knowledge. They cannot be explained consecutively without error. For example, I can easily tell you all about water. Chemical composition. Mixtures. Texture. Temperature. It can all be described without error by many people - but intangibles cannot.
So now I present a problem. I'm currently kind of dating another person. I say kind of because I talked to her tonight and we came to terms that we would put things on hold for three weeks. On hold meaning that we won't do anything other than talk on the phone - and even that is sporadic. Anyway... So I can't make the person I am currently dating feel bad. It isn't in my personality. I'm not like that. There is no way that I can straight up walk up to another person and say, "Hey, I like someone else more than you... So yeah... This is what I think has to happen..." - it cannot be done by me. I have now realized that I have been close to this same exact situation before (and I apologize indefinitely for not doing what I now know I should have - I would play the 'young and stupid' card here, but I don't see it as an excuse). But I am supposed to have learned from past experiences, correct? Well, now replace the person that I am dating with one of my best friends in the world. I still care about her, worry about her safety and success, share many concerns for her, and want to help her in every way. How am I supposed to change that... Because I fear if I do cause things between us to go bad, I know I will never forgive myself. She does not deserve this. I don't know how to go about it... She means too much to me. But yet yeah...
So here I guess I just needed to debate with myself for a little bit... Maybe what is happening now will work itself out to be what is supposed to happen, and I pray that it does. But I also pray that we will remain the best of friends - despite how hard I know that will most likely be between us. It has happened before, so I know it can happen. And I am willing to make it work. At the same time, I know it will be awkward for a while. I've never been good at these situations though... So I also pray for strength....
I now pray that I will be able to get my homework done now that these thoughts may be off my mind for a while... And also that I can get a decent amount of sleep - as it would help out immensely.
Comment if you wish.... Or if you don't...