Revelations Cycle Third Iteration: Beyond Porch and Portal
I swear to god this shit will be explained eventually. For now, uh, I guess I'm sorry your fill turned into such a fucked-up mess, OP.
Also if anyone would like to help me come up with troll names for Rose and Jade and a human name for Equius I would be much obliged. Won't become relevant for awhile yet, but it's giving me a headache and I'd like to be prepared.
<==
~~~
You are alone. Alone in a place whose name you once knew, all sprawling metallic corridors and the tang of dried blood in the air. Yes, you have been here before, and you will be here again-- or possibly not. Quite possibly this is all an illusion, a fever dream. The trouble is that you can never really tell, and this one feels more real than ever. You can feel your heart beating double-time in your chest, and eyes watching you from across the room. Slowly, you turn, aware that you are without a weapon in a strange but familiar place. For some reason, you expect to hear a honk.
Instead, you see him. The other one. He doesn't appear often, and you wish he wouldn't at all. Unlike the other man, you never seem to remember him when you wake up, but you sure as hell remember him now, all sharp teeth and nubby little horns, standing in shadows, only his demonic eyes visible.
"I love/loathe you," he rasps, voice like the grinding of rusted gears, like bodies being dragged over loose gravel. "You useless fucking sack of shit excuse for a human. Colossal fuck up. Failure. Usurper. They hate you too, you know. How many times have you gotten them killed, now?"
"Shut up!" you shout, trembling with impotent rage. In the low light, you can see the glint of metal, and you know that this will end just as it always does, with him advancing on you-- and then blood, and then nothing.
Desperate, panicked, you run, but your feet are as in quicksand. You want to call out for him to save you, and this shadow laughs, toneless and horrible like the baying of hyenas. "Don't you know? He can't help you now, you worthless fucker. We can never cross each other. Not ever again. Guess whose fault that is, too?"
The weapon is raised behind you, cutting through the air with a swish. Tensed, you brace yourself. It will not hurt, not really. It never does.
---
Your name is Karl Vates, and you are fourteen years old. It is another winter, just like every other, and another dreary Valentine's Day. It is snowing, you will later recall, and Teri is with you, her mittened hand slipped casually into yours. You stand on the street corner together, watching the traffic stream past, waiting for the light to change, and somehow this seems like an appropriate metaphor for the whole of your life. The world feels worn out, frayed, like a shirt you've worn from birth-- it's time to change it, time to shuck it off, to move on. There is so much else waiting for you.
You will have no recollection of tugging your hand away from Teri's and stepping pointedly out into traffic, staring straight ahead. By all accounts your eyes were dead, glazed, as though looking out over something truly magnificent, and you were smiling-- really smiling --for the first time since you were a baby. There was no more fear, no more regret, no more despair. When time started again you were being pressed down against the pavement on the other side of the street, Teri sitting on your chest, her not-yet-dead eyes watching you with condemnation.
"Why the fuck did you do that?" she asks, her voice shaking only the tiniest bit, her hands fisted in the front of your shirt. Your head aches from where you'd cracked it against the sidewalk as you fell, and for some reason, the only answer that comes to mind is, I was testing something.
Instead you lie, because the truth would only frighten her, frighten you, and anyway it is slipping away from you now like sand through your fingers. And you say, "I don't know."
---
Heir, can you hear me? It is nearly time for your awakening. Do not be afraid, my child.
You have done all this before.
---
Karl woke up flat on his back in the middle of his ruined living room, the porksprite hovering over him oinking tinnily in an approximation of worry. He felt like he'd just run a marathon, and the back of his neck hurt for no fathomable reason-- tentative exploration with two fingers revealed an expanse of unbroken skin, and there was nothing he could have fallen against as he fell other than the floor. Groaning, he stood, and found himself shrouded in darkness, the only real light emanating from his phone, which was buzzing insistently. Whatever. The stupid troll could just wait for five seconds while Karl located the lightswitch, using the phone's tiny light radius to avoid stubbing his toe on any hulking machinery.
Blinking in the sudden light, Karl looked around, trying to avoid staring out the gaping hole where his wall used to be for the moment. When he did, it only made him confused-- there was nothing but blackness out there, no neighborhood or rows of sad, stupid little houses filled with sad, stupid little people, or green grass, or trees, or... anything other than emptiness and scorched earth, really.
GT: karl?
GT: i know you're awake, karl, i can see you.
GT: i bet you're really excited, right!
GT: or just scared.
GT: can i tell you a secret? i was too.
GT: but it's alright, i promise. it's not so scary if we're in it together.
GT: i wish i could come be there with you, karl, but that's just not possible.
AG: HEY, SHUT UP A SECOND, OKAY?
AG: OR, ACTUALLY, DON'T.
AG: YOU OWE ME SOME ANSWERS, FUCKASS.
GT: one answer.
AG: WHAT.
GT: one favor, one answer.
AG: OKAY, FUCK YOU FOR THAT.
GT: hehehehe.
GT: sorry, mind in the gutter.
GT: okay, you get one question. use it wisely!
AG: UGH FINE, LET ME THINK.
AG: ...ALRIGHT, I GUESS I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHERE THE FUCK I AM, AND WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYTHING OUTSIDE.
GT: that's two questions, karl!
GT: but i'm nice, so i'll answer them both, just this once.
Karl stepped forward, towards the hole, standing on the edge of what was once his house. Now he could see that his house rested on a broad, flat plain that seemed to go on forever, dismal and unbroken save for the occasional hill or stunted tree or deep groove in the earth, the ground charred and blasted looking. Sometimes Karl thought he could see shadows moving, and sometimes he thought he was imagining things, but it remained intensely creepy, regardless.
GT: right now you're in a place called the medium.
GT: what you're looking at is your land.
GT: mine is almost always the land of wind and shade, but it can vary.
GT: with your land, you get a title. that tells you what the game will help you become!
GT: heir of breath, maid of time, architect of doom, etc.
GT: there are lots of possibilities.
Karl took another step forward, outside, his foot raising a minuscule cloud of dust that writhed a moment and settled, no wind in the airless place to keep it aloft. It was neither warm nor cold, a state of perfect stasis, and things were illuminated well enough that he could see every detail of the landscape, despite there being no other light source present than that leaking out of his house. No shadows were cast but those that existed already.
And Karl's, of course, that for a brief second rippled, appeared to grow horns. Then he shifted again and it was back to being his familiar companion, an echo of his person.
GT: as for what happened... i assume you meant what happened to your earth?
AG: NO SHIT, IDIOT.
GT: well, i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but...
GT: the apocalypse happened.
AG: WHAT.
GT: i can't tell exactly what happened from over here.
GT: it's really weird. this isn't the normal pattern at all.
GT: usually you get an individual timer, but it looks like everyone in your session had the same deadline to be in the medium by...
GT: after a certain point there's just... nothing.
AG: WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?
AG: AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS STUFF?
GT: sigh
GT: okay i knew we were going to come to this point eventually.
GT: look, from where i am, i can kind of... see your timeline. most of it, anyway. a lot of it, definitely.
GT: what makes it weird is that you seem to have been shifted in time a little bit when you came here.
GT: like... okay, if you tried to pester one of your friends right now, it would still be in linear time for both of you
GT: but it would be four days ago where your friend is.
GT: it's like your body jumped forward four days to after the event, but you're still running on the same timeframe.
GT: kind of like time zones back on earth, i guess.
AG: I SUDDENLY UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING!
GT: really?
AG: OF COURSE NOT, FUCKFACE. NONE OF THAT MADE ANY GODDAMN SENSE.
AG: CAN WE CUT THIS SCIENCE FICTION B-MOVIE SHIT AND JUST GET SOME STRAIGHT ANSWERS, FOR ONCE?
GT: i'm trying!
GT: but it's really hard, dude.
GT: and for the record, you could stand to suspend your disbelief a little harder.
GT: you are standing in the middle of a dungeon dimension right now man, come on.
GT: rules obviously no longer apply.
The shadows were stirring again, and a sudden wind had kicked up, barely covering the chittering noises that seemed to surround him out of nowhere. Karl wasn't paying attention to that nonsense, however, instead focusing on the completely insane idiot who had taken it upon himself to walk Karl through this crappy game.
This crappy, horrible game that had apparently killed everyone.
AG: SO BASICALLY WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME IS THAT ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD.
AG: AND IT'S MY FAULT FOR PLAYING THIS CHRIST-DAMNED GAME.
AG: IS THIS WHY HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO PLAY IT?
GT: no no no!
GT: ...i mean, yes, sort of.
GT: sorry, maybe i didn't explain it all that well.
GT: your friends are going to be fine.
GT: probably.
GT: here, try pestering someone now.
AG: YOU JUST LITERALLY JUST GOT DONE TELLING ME THAT I'D BE TALKING TO THEM FOUR DAYS AGO.
GT: oh right...
GT: well, take my word for it, they'll be fine.
GT: they almost always are.
GT: though eleven is really not an ideal number of players.
GT: the game likes it to be even, see.
AG: YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE ITS SENTIENT.
GT: it kind of is, i think.
AG: OKAY, NOW YOU'RE JUST FUCKING WITH ME.
GT: hehehe.
AG: STOP THAT. GIGGLING CREEPILY IS GC'S THING.
GT: oh, right. i bet you're super worried about her, huh?
GT: well, don't be!
GT: her patron troll is probably working on getting her in as we speak.
AG: I WASN'T, BUT I'M GLAD WE GOT THAT CLEARED UP I GUESS.
GT: suuuuuuuure you weren't.
GT: remember, karl, i know aaaaaaaall about you.
GT: i've been watching you since you were a baby!
GT: ...shit, i didn't mean that how it sounded.
-- abysmalGuardian [AG] has blocked ghostyTrickster [GT]! --
Scowling to himself, Karl renewed his resolve to ignore any and all internet trolls in the future. That guy had been marginally useful, though, but way confusing and generally an idiot, and Karl just didn't want anything else to do with him. If he had questions, he could just ask Solomon; the guy created the damn game, he had to know how to work it.
Now that he'd banished the useless little fucker to the realm of cyberspace, though, Karl was rather at a loss for what to do with himself. This was supposed to be a game, but there wasn't much fun or interesting about it, so far-- the desolate landscape provided few opportunities, and the house was a wreck, and he didn't feel like fucking around with the alchemizer or whatever it was at that point in time. Really, all he wanted to do was sleep, and hopefully avoid dreaming for as long as possible.
Karl was in the middle of surveying the landscape hopelessly one last time, wishing to discover that it had transmuted itself into someplace remotely hospitable since the last time he'd checked, when two things happened:
The first was that his phone vibrated hard enough to shake itself halfway out of his pocket.
The second was that the shadows detached themselves from the ground and lunged at him, gaining form and function, their hard black shells molded into the form of shiny carapacean pigs.
-- timetechGodhead [TG] began trolling abysmalGuardian [AG] at ??:??! --
TG: gog i keep forgetting how much of a tool you are in every possible timeline
TG: seriously bro it is beyond me why egderp even likes you
TG: not to mention t
AG: OH MY GOD THEY'RE EVERYWHERE.
AG: WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK.
TG: see this is exactly the sort of thing i'm talking about
TG: you could be safely inside getting mother henned by a guy who thinks troll nic cage is the best actor right now
TG: but instead you're drowning in a sea of imps
TG: this would be sad if it wasn't so gogdamned hilarious
AG: CAN'T TALK PIGS WILL EAT ME.
TG: okay look
TG: are you going to calm down and stop being such a whiny little dickbag or am i going to have to come down there myself
AG: OKAY FIRST OF ALL FUCK OFF
AG: SECONDLY WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU
AG: THIRD-- ASDJFKHASFKnnnn1872D;*
TG: haha
AG: HEY SHUT UP IT IS HARD TO TYPE WHEN SOULLESS DEMON MONSTERS FROM HELL ARE EATING YOUR ARM OKAY
AG: I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU DO BETTER
TG: maybe later bro
TG: except not because i really dont want to spend any more time talking to you than i have to
TG: and keep in mind that i literally have all the time
TG: given the choice of sitting here on my hands forever or trying to count all the grains of sand in the universe or talking to you i would much rather watch paint dry for eternity
AG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO ME FOR THEN
TG: just kidding i am totally busy right now
TG: lots of irons in the fire and shit
TG: so ill be brief on this
TG: you need to unblock egbert
By this point, Karl had fought his way back to the house and climbed up the creaking storm drain one-handed, fingers clenched tight around the cold, rusting metal, his heart hammering hard in his chest. It had taken more strength than he'd really possessed to haul himself up, but at least the demonspawn with their immobile trotters couldn't follow him this way. Breathing heavily, Karl sat up and turned his complete attention towards the latest contestant on Who Wants To Be A Deadman.
AG: IF EGBERT IS THE ASSHOLE WHO WAS TRYING TO 'HELP' ME EARLIER, FORGET IT.
AG: I CAN FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT WITHOUT ASSISTANCE FROM YOU OR YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS.
TG: dude
TG: no
TG: you cant
TG: do you have any idea how many times ive watched you try this and fail
TG: because its got to be in the millions by now
TG: high thousands at least
TG: and you know what i am sick of it
TG: i am not letting you fail this session right out of the starting gate again dude
TG: you are going to unblock egbert and that's final.
-- abysmalGuardian [AG] has blocked timetechGodhead [TG]! --
There. That should do it. Now Karl could have some peace and quiet to catch his breath and listen to the wind whistle over the plains--
-- timetechGodhead [TG] began trolling abysmalGuardian [AG] at ??:??! --
TG: dude no
TG: come on
TG: this is bush league stuff up in here okay
AG: WHAT THE FUCK.
AG: HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
TG: i am a fucking ninja
TG: an internet ninja
TG: i reach across time and space and make them my bitch
AG: THIS WILL JUST KEEP HAPPENING IF I BLOCK YOU AGAIN WON'T IT.
TG: you know it bro
TG: like i said i got nothin but time
TG: i mean im trying to get my game on over here too but i can multitask
TG: no big
TG: so bring it douchefag
AG: YOU KNOW
AG: IF MY CHOICES ARE BETWEEN YOU AND THE OTHER ONE I GUESS I'LL TAKE THE LESSER OF TWO ANEURYSMS.
AG: IS THAT HIS NAME? EGBERT?
TG: good call
TG: yeah thats his last name
TG: his first names jawwhn or some fucking thing with too many consonants
TG: hes a little bitch but what can you do
AG: I THOUGHT HE WAS YOUR FRIEND?
TG: yeah well its complicated
TG: ill tell you when youre older sparky
TG: but there are four of us over here ill tell you that
TG: would work out perfectly if i could decide whether were bros or i hate his guts
TG: protip bro
TG: go godtier
TG: would have made everything easier
AG: OKAY I THINK I'M DONE TALKING TO YOU NOW, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE MONSTERS HAVE LOCATED THE STAIRCASE AND ALSO THIS MAKES EVEN LESS SENSE THAN WHAT EGBERT WAS TALKING ABOUT.
AG: I REFUSE TO USE HIS FIRST NAME BECAUSE IT'S RETARDED.
AG: SERIOUSLY WHO THE FUCK NAMES THEIR KID THAT.
TG: you know what
TG: i think this incarnation of you might not be completely insufferable
TG: damn never thought id see the day
TG: ill let you get back to that i guess
AG: YEAH FINE WHATEVER. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
TG: can do fucko
Karl squeezed his eyes shut tight, running fingers bent to claws through his messy black hair, making it messier still. He hated this, hated everything about it, but there was nothing left to do. He could hear the creatures rattling around downstairs, snorting and grunting, tipping over lamps and rooting through the vegetable crisper, and he had no idea what to do. Solomon would know, but Solomon wasn't online, and Karl didn't want to try contacting Alice again lest he disturb her rest. For all he knew she could be in surgery, or dead.
But don't think about that, he told himself, scrolling through his chumroll. There he was, the fucker, Egbert-- Karl had added him a long time ago for reasons inexplicable even to himself. He'd been lonely at the time, and halfway to a mental breakdown, and he'd hated the fucker, yeah, but he'd been getting trolled by him practically all his life, which made them almost friends. Right now Karl had to admit that he was the best option in a sea of shitty prospects, and he could deal with that. He didn't want to, but he could.
AG: HEY, SO.
AG: QUICK QUESTION.
AG: THERE ARE A BUNCH OF PORK MONSTERS TURNING MY HOUSE INTO A STY RIGHT NOW.
AG: ADVISE?
GT: karl?!
GT: oh my gog!
GT: i didn't think that would actually work.
GT: then again I guess mister mutantblood coolkid wouldn't have done it if it wasn't going to work...
AG: UGH LISTEN I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR SHITTY DAYTIME TELEVISION DRAMA HOUR, OKAY?
AG: ONE OF MY GOOD FRIENDS GOT STABBED, MY BEST FRIEND HAS LOST THE LAST OF HIS MARBLES, I GOT SENT TO A DUNGEON DIMENSION, MY HOUSE IS A WRECK, AND NOW PIGS ARE TRYING TO EAT ME.
AG: I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON OR, FAILING THAT, WHAT THE FUCK I'M SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT.
AG: COLOR ME UNINTERESTED ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE.
GT: hehehe
AG: DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO STOP THAT?
GT: sorry!
GT: it's just...
GT: i really missed you, karl.
AG: OH MY GOD COME ON. IT'S BEEN LIKE HALF AN HOUR, TOPS.
GT: no, but...
GT: nevermind.
GT: okay first of all you need to find a weapon to allocate to your strife specibus.
AG: SHIT. THAT'S GOING TO REQUIRE GETTING OFF THE ROOF.
GT: i'd expect so, yeah.
AG: CAN I JUST... STAY UP HERE, FOR A LITTLE WHILE?
AG: IT'S REALLY QUIET.
AG: AND... KIND OF NICE.
GT: sure. i'll watch out for you.
AG: YEAH, WHATEVER.
Closing his eyes again, Karl lay back carefully until his back connected with the roof, letting himself settle against the shingles. It was flat and slanted at a low angle, and his feet rested against the gutter, holding himself there and preventing him from sliding down to meet the ground again. Now the sounds from below were fading, like a bad dream, replaced with his own shallow breathing and the steady thump of blood rushing through his ears and the chambers of his rotten heart. This was familiar. This was home.
This was where he needed to be.
At last, Karl turned his eyes towards the sky, and found that it was not as empty as he'd assumed; clouds he had not known were there had parted, revealing patches of slightly darker blackness pockmarked with stars-- and in the center of it all, directly above his head, was the thing that Solomon had drawn.
AG: HEY, FUCKASS. WHAT'S THAT THING ABOVE ME?
AG: IT'S A SPIROGRAPH, RIGHT?
GT: oh that?
GT: yeah, i guess that's the name for the design.
GT: that's not all it is, though!
GT: it's the gate.
AG: GATE? WHERE DOES IT GO?
GT: to other worlds. to your friends' worlds, when they get in the game.
GT: don't worry about it just now.
GT: you can't get there without the help of a server player, anyway.
AG: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING SUSPICIOUS, THOUGH.
AG: WHO THE FUCK WOULD PUT A GATE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GODDAMN SKY?
AG: THAT'S JUST SHITTY CODING, IS ALL THAT IS.
AG: I THINK--
And then, with great, groaning aplomb, the roof beneath Karl collapsed.
---
GT: well, that could have gone better.
AG: GEE, YOU THINK?
Karl stood in the middle of his ruined living room, broken beams all around and a layer of dust clinging to his clothing, brushing nails and bits of plaster our of his hair. Several of the imps had been crushed, at least, and he'd collected his first grist, managing to avoid the temptation to compare the shape to fruit gushers. Somehow, he hadn't felt that Egbert would appreciate the reference.
Currently, the only undamaged room in the house was his father's study, where he did not wish to go, and the garage-- and poking around the kitchen had revealed nothing but several broken, bent, and twisted knives, totally useless for his purposes. At least there were power tools in the garage, and Karl picked his way through the wreckage carefully, yanking hard on the door to make it push past half a desecrated bookcase so that he could slip through the resulting crack.
It was dark in the garage, darker than it had been outside, and spooky with only the phone's luminescent glow to guide him, and Karl didn't like it one goddamn bit.
AG: ALRIGHT, SO, WHAT DO YOU RECCOMMEND?
AG: I WAS JUST GOING TO GRAB THE FIRST THING I COULD FIND AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, BUT I GUESS I'M GOING TO DEFER TO YOUR SUPERIOR EXPERIENCE WITH THIS AWFUL BULLSHIT.
AG: THE WORLD MUST BE ENDING, I KNOW.
AG: OH, WAIT, IT ALREADY DID.
GT: it doesn't really matter.
GT: whatever feels right to you is obviously best!
GT: i've had a lot of different weapons, but there are a few i keep coming back to that just feel... natural.
AG: SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT THERE IS NO REASON FOR ME TO GIVE A SHIT AND I COULD, IN FACT, EQUIP A RUBBER CHICKEN FOR ALL THE DIFFERENCE IT WOULD MAKE.
GT: pretty much?
GT: i don't reccommend doing that, though.
GT: even if it would be hilarious.
AG: YOU COULD HAVE JUST FUCKING SAID THAT.
GT: look, i am trying to be the best spirit guide i can be, bro.
GT: don't blame me because you're impatient.
AG: FINE. WE ARE LEAVING THIS UP TO FATE.
Irritated again, as though that was unusual, Karl reached out towards his father's tool bench, and grabbed the first thing that came to hand. It was an ordinary hammer, small and weighted in his hand, but it felt good to hold, the shaft warm against his skin. It wasn't the perfect weapon, no, but it was good enough for him, and he allocated it to the proper specibus quickly, wanting to be be out of there and done with it.
Unfortunately, and quite suddenly, there was a loud crack, and half the light source vanished, signaling that someone-- or something --had slammed the garage door behind him, locking it.
Karl, for all intents and purposes, was trapped.
==>
Also if anyone would like to help me come up with troll names for Rose and Jade and a human name for Equius I would be much obliged. Won't become relevant for awhile yet, but it's giving me a headache and I'd like to be prepared.
<==
~~~
You are alone. Alone in a place whose name you once knew, all sprawling metallic corridors and the tang of dried blood in the air. Yes, you have been here before, and you will be here again-- or possibly not. Quite possibly this is all an illusion, a fever dream. The trouble is that you can never really tell, and this one feels more real than ever. You can feel your heart beating double-time in your chest, and eyes watching you from across the room. Slowly, you turn, aware that you are without a weapon in a strange but familiar place. For some reason, you expect to hear a honk.
Instead, you see him. The other one. He doesn't appear often, and you wish he wouldn't at all. Unlike the other man, you never seem to remember him when you wake up, but you sure as hell remember him now, all sharp teeth and nubby little horns, standing in shadows, only his demonic eyes visible.
"I love/loathe you," he rasps, voice like the grinding of rusted gears, like bodies being dragged over loose gravel. "You useless fucking sack of shit excuse for a human. Colossal fuck up. Failure. Usurper. They hate you too, you know. How many times have you gotten them killed, now?"
"Shut up!" you shout, trembling with impotent rage. In the low light, you can see the glint of metal, and you know that this will end just as it always does, with him advancing on you-- and then blood, and then nothing.
Desperate, panicked, you run, but your feet are as in quicksand. You want to call out for him to save you, and this shadow laughs, toneless and horrible like the baying of hyenas. "Don't you know? He can't help you now, you worthless fucker. We can never cross each other. Not ever again. Guess whose fault that is, too?"
The weapon is raised behind you, cutting through the air with a swish. Tensed, you brace yourself. It will not hurt, not really. It never does.
---
Your name is Karl Vates, and you are fourteen years old. It is another winter, just like every other, and another dreary Valentine's Day. It is snowing, you will later recall, and Teri is with you, her mittened hand slipped casually into yours. You stand on the street corner together, watching the traffic stream past, waiting for the light to change, and somehow this seems like an appropriate metaphor for the whole of your life. The world feels worn out, frayed, like a shirt you've worn from birth-- it's time to change it, time to shuck it off, to move on. There is so much else waiting for you.
You will have no recollection of tugging your hand away from Teri's and stepping pointedly out into traffic, staring straight ahead. By all accounts your eyes were dead, glazed, as though looking out over something truly magnificent, and you were smiling-- really smiling --for the first time since you were a baby. There was no more fear, no more regret, no more despair. When time started again you were being pressed down against the pavement on the other side of the street, Teri sitting on your chest, her not-yet-dead eyes watching you with condemnation.
"Why the fuck did you do that?" she asks, her voice shaking only the tiniest bit, her hands fisted in the front of your shirt. Your head aches from where you'd cracked it against the sidewalk as you fell, and for some reason, the only answer that comes to mind is, I was testing something.
Instead you lie, because the truth would only frighten her, frighten you, and anyway it is slipping away from you now like sand through your fingers. And you say, "I don't know."
---
Heir, can you hear me? It is nearly time for your awakening. Do not be afraid, my child.
You have done all this before.
---
Karl woke up flat on his back in the middle of his ruined living room, the porksprite hovering over him oinking tinnily in an approximation of worry. He felt like he'd just run a marathon, and the back of his neck hurt for no fathomable reason-- tentative exploration with two fingers revealed an expanse of unbroken skin, and there was nothing he could have fallen against as he fell other than the floor. Groaning, he stood, and found himself shrouded in darkness, the only real light emanating from his phone, which was buzzing insistently. Whatever. The stupid troll could just wait for five seconds while Karl located the lightswitch, using the phone's tiny light radius to avoid stubbing his toe on any hulking machinery.
Blinking in the sudden light, Karl looked around, trying to avoid staring out the gaping hole where his wall used to be for the moment. When he did, it only made him confused-- there was nothing but blackness out there, no neighborhood or rows of sad, stupid little houses filled with sad, stupid little people, or green grass, or trees, or... anything other than emptiness and scorched earth, really.
GT: karl?
GT: i know you're awake, karl, i can see you.
GT: i bet you're really excited, right!
GT: or just scared.
GT: can i tell you a secret? i was too.
GT: but it's alright, i promise. it's not so scary if we're in it together.
GT: i wish i could come be there with you, karl, but that's just not possible.
AG: HEY, SHUT UP A SECOND, OKAY?
AG: OR, ACTUALLY, DON'T.
AG: YOU OWE ME SOME ANSWERS, FUCKASS.
GT: one answer.
AG: WHAT.
GT: one favor, one answer.
AG: OKAY, FUCK YOU FOR THAT.
GT: hehehehe.
GT: sorry, mind in the gutter.
GT: okay, you get one question. use it wisely!
AG: UGH FINE, LET ME THINK.
AG: ...ALRIGHT, I GUESS I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHERE THE FUCK I AM, AND WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYTHING OUTSIDE.
GT: that's two questions, karl!
GT: but i'm nice, so i'll answer them both, just this once.
Karl stepped forward, towards the hole, standing on the edge of what was once his house. Now he could see that his house rested on a broad, flat plain that seemed to go on forever, dismal and unbroken save for the occasional hill or stunted tree or deep groove in the earth, the ground charred and blasted looking. Sometimes Karl thought he could see shadows moving, and sometimes he thought he was imagining things, but it remained intensely creepy, regardless.
GT: right now you're in a place called the medium.
GT: what you're looking at is your land.
GT: mine is almost always the land of wind and shade, but it can vary.
GT: with your land, you get a title. that tells you what the game will help you become!
GT: heir of breath, maid of time, architect of doom, etc.
GT: there are lots of possibilities.
Karl took another step forward, outside, his foot raising a minuscule cloud of dust that writhed a moment and settled, no wind in the airless place to keep it aloft. It was neither warm nor cold, a state of perfect stasis, and things were illuminated well enough that he could see every detail of the landscape, despite there being no other light source present than that leaking out of his house. No shadows were cast but those that existed already.
And Karl's, of course, that for a brief second rippled, appeared to grow horns. Then he shifted again and it was back to being his familiar companion, an echo of his person.
GT: as for what happened... i assume you meant what happened to your earth?
AG: NO SHIT, IDIOT.
GT: well, i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but...
GT: the apocalypse happened.
AG: WHAT.
GT: i can't tell exactly what happened from over here.
GT: it's really weird. this isn't the normal pattern at all.
GT: usually you get an individual timer, but it looks like everyone in your session had the same deadline to be in the medium by...
GT: after a certain point there's just... nothing.
AG: WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?
AG: AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS STUFF?
GT: sigh
GT: okay i knew we were going to come to this point eventually.
GT: look, from where i am, i can kind of... see your timeline. most of it, anyway. a lot of it, definitely.
GT: what makes it weird is that you seem to have been shifted in time a little bit when you came here.
GT: like... okay, if you tried to pester one of your friends right now, it would still be in linear time for both of you
GT: but it would be four days ago where your friend is.
GT: it's like your body jumped forward four days to after the event, but you're still running on the same timeframe.
GT: kind of like time zones back on earth, i guess.
AG: I SUDDENLY UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING!
GT: really?
AG: OF COURSE NOT, FUCKFACE. NONE OF THAT MADE ANY GODDAMN SENSE.
AG: CAN WE CUT THIS SCIENCE FICTION B-MOVIE SHIT AND JUST GET SOME STRAIGHT ANSWERS, FOR ONCE?
GT: i'm trying!
GT: but it's really hard, dude.
GT: and for the record, you could stand to suspend your disbelief a little harder.
GT: you are standing in the middle of a dungeon dimension right now man, come on.
GT: rules obviously no longer apply.
The shadows were stirring again, and a sudden wind had kicked up, barely covering the chittering noises that seemed to surround him out of nowhere. Karl wasn't paying attention to that nonsense, however, instead focusing on the completely insane idiot who had taken it upon himself to walk Karl through this crappy game.
This crappy, horrible game that had apparently killed everyone.
AG: SO BASICALLY WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME IS THAT ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD.
AG: AND IT'S MY FAULT FOR PLAYING THIS CHRIST-DAMNED GAME.
AG: IS THIS WHY HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO PLAY IT?
GT: no no no!
GT: ...i mean, yes, sort of.
GT: sorry, maybe i didn't explain it all that well.
GT: your friends are going to be fine.
GT: probably.
GT: here, try pestering someone now.
AG: YOU JUST LITERALLY JUST GOT DONE TELLING ME THAT I'D BE TALKING TO THEM FOUR DAYS AGO.
GT: oh right...
GT: well, take my word for it, they'll be fine.
GT: they almost always are.
GT: though eleven is really not an ideal number of players.
GT: the game likes it to be even, see.
AG: YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE ITS SENTIENT.
GT: it kind of is, i think.
AG: OKAY, NOW YOU'RE JUST FUCKING WITH ME.
GT: hehehe.
AG: STOP THAT. GIGGLING CREEPILY IS GC'S THING.
GT: oh, right. i bet you're super worried about her, huh?
GT: well, don't be!
GT: her patron troll is probably working on getting her in as we speak.
AG: I WASN'T, BUT I'M GLAD WE GOT THAT CLEARED UP I GUESS.
GT: suuuuuuuure you weren't.
GT: remember, karl, i know aaaaaaaall about you.
GT: i've been watching you since you were a baby!
GT: ...shit, i didn't mean that how it sounded.
-- abysmalGuardian [AG] has blocked ghostyTrickster [GT]! --
Scowling to himself, Karl renewed his resolve to ignore any and all internet trolls in the future. That guy had been marginally useful, though, but way confusing and generally an idiot, and Karl just didn't want anything else to do with him. If he had questions, he could just ask Solomon; the guy created the damn game, he had to know how to work it.
Now that he'd banished the useless little fucker to the realm of cyberspace, though, Karl was rather at a loss for what to do with himself. This was supposed to be a game, but there wasn't much fun or interesting about it, so far-- the desolate landscape provided few opportunities, and the house was a wreck, and he didn't feel like fucking around with the alchemizer or whatever it was at that point in time. Really, all he wanted to do was sleep, and hopefully avoid dreaming for as long as possible.
Karl was in the middle of surveying the landscape hopelessly one last time, wishing to discover that it had transmuted itself into someplace remotely hospitable since the last time he'd checked, when two things happened:
The first was that his phone vibrated hard enough to shake itself halfway out of his pocket.
The second was that the shadows detached themselves from the ground and lunged at him, gaining form and function, their hard black shells molded into the form of shiny carapacean pigs.
-- timetechGodhead [TG] began trolling abysmalGuardian [AG] at ??:??! --
TG: gog i keep forgetting how much of a tool you are in every possible timeline
TG: seriously bro it is beyond me why egderp even likes you
TG: not to mention t
AG: OH MY GOD THEY'RE EVERYWHERE.
AG: WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK.
TG: see this is exactly the sort of thing i'm talking about
TG: you could be safely inside getting mother henned by a guy who thinks troll nic cage is the best actor right now
TG: but instead you're drowning in a sea of imps
TG: this would be sad if it wasn't so gogdamned hilarious
AG: CAN'T TALK PIGS WILL EAT ME.
TG: okay look
TG: are you going to calm down and stop being such a whiny little dickbag or am i going to have to come down there myself
AG: OKAY FIRST OF ALL FUCK OFF
AG: SECONDLY WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU
AG: THIRD-- ASDJFKHASFKnnnn1872D;*
TG: haha
AG: HEY SHUT UP IT IS HARD TO TYPE WHEN SOULLESS DEMON MONSTERS FROM HELL ARE EATING YOUR ARM OKAY
AG: I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU DO BETTER
TG: maybe later bro
TG: except not because i really dont want to spend any more time talking to you than i have to
TG: and keep in mind that i literally have all the time
TG: given the choice of sitting here on my hands forever or trying to count all the grains of sand in the universe or talking to you i would much rather watch paint dry for eternity
AG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO ME FOR THEN
TG: just kidding i am totally busy right now
TG: lots of irons in the fire and shit
TG: so ill be brief on this
TG: you need to unblock egbert
By this point, Karl had fought his way back to the house and climbed up the creaking storm drain one-handed, fingers clenched tight around the cold, rusting metal, his heart hammering hard in his chest. It had taken more strength than he'd really possessed to haul himself up, but at least the demonspawn with their immobile trotters couldn't follow him this way. Breathing heavily, Karl sat up and turned his complete attention towards the latest contestant on Who Wants To Be A Deadman.
AG: IF EGBERT IS THE ASSHOLE WHO WAS TRYING TO 'HELP' ME EARLIER, FORGET IT.
AG: I CAN FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT WITHOUT ASSISTANCE FROM YOU OR YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS.
TG: dude
TG: no
TG: you cant
TG: do you have any idea how many times ive watched you try this and fail
TG: because its got to be in the millions by now
TG: high thousands at least
TG: and you know what i am sick of it
TG: i am not letting you fail this session right out of the starting gate again dude
TG: you are going to unblock egbert and that's final.
-- abysmalGuardian [AG] has blocked timetechGodhead [TG]! --
There. That should do it. Now Karl could have some peace and quiet to catch his breath and listen to the wind whistle over the plains--
-- timetechGodhead [TG] began trolling abysmalGuardian [AG] at ??:??! --
TG: dude no
TG: come on
TG: this is bush league stuff up in here okay
AG: WHAT THE FUCK.
AG: HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
TG: i am a fucking ninja
TG: an internet ninja
TG: i reach across time and space and make them my bitch
AG: THIS WILL JUST KEEP HAPPENING IF I BLOCK YOU AGAIN WON'T IT.
TG: you know it bro
TG: like i said i got nothin but time
TG: i mean im trying to get my game on over here too but i can multitask
TG: no big
TG: so bring it douchefag
AG: YOU KNOW
AG: IF MY CHOICES ARE BETWEEN YOU AND THE OTHER ONE I GUESS I'LL TAKE THE LESSER OF TWO ANEURYSMS.
AG: IS THAT HIS NAME? EGBERT?
TG: good call
TG: yeah thats his last name
TG: his first names jawwhn or some fucking thing with too many consonants
TG: hes a little bitch but what can you do
AG: I THOUGHT HE WAS YOUR FRIEND?
TG: yeah well its complicated
TG: ill tell you when youre older sparky
TG: but there are four of us over here ill tell you that
TG: would work out perfectly if i could decide whether were bros or i hate his guts
TG: protip bro
TG: go godtier
TG: would have made everything easier
AG: OKAY I THINK I'M DONE TALKING TO YOU NOW, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE MONSTERS HAVE LOCATED THE STAIRCASE AND ALSO THIS MAKES EVEN LESS SENSE THAN WHAT EGBERT WAS TALKING ABOUT.
AG: I REFUSE TO USE HIS FIRST NAME BECAUSE IT'S RETARDED.
AG: SERIOUSLY WHO THE FUCK NAMES THEIR KID THAT.
TG: you know what
TG: i think this incarnation of you might not be completely insufferable
TG: damn never thought id see the day
TG: ill let you get back to that i guess
AG: YEAH FINE WHATEVER. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
TG: can do fucko
Karl squeezed his eyes shut tight, running fingers bent to claws through his messy black hair, making it messier still. He hated this, hated everything about it, but there was nothing left to do. He could hear the creatures rattling around downstairs, snorting and grunting, tipping over lamps and rooting through the vegetable crisper, and he had no idea what to do. Solomon would know, but Solomon wasn't online, and Karl didn't want to try contacting Alice again lest he disturb her rest. For all he knew she could be in surgery, or dead.
But don't think about that, he told himself, scrolling through his chumroll. There he was, the fucker, Egbert-- Karl had added him a long time ago for reasons inexplicable even to himself. He'd been lonely at the time, and halfway to a mental breakdown, and he'd hated the fucker, yeah, but he'd been getting trolled by him practically all his life, which made them almost friends. Right now Karl had to admit that he was the best option in a sea of shitty prospects, and he could deal with that. He didn't want to, but he could.
AG: HEY, SO.
AG: QUICK QUESTION.
AG: THERE ARE A BUNCH OF PORK MONSTERS TURNING MY HOUSE INTO A STY RIGHT NOW.
AG: ADVISE?
GT: karl?!
GT: oh my gog!
GT: i didn't think that would actually work.
GT: then again I guess mister mutantblood coolkid wouldn't have done it if it wasn't going to work...
AG: UGH LISTEN I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR SHITTY DAYTIME TELEVISION DRAMA HOUR, OKAY?
AG: ONE OF MY GOOD FRIENDS GOT STABBED, MY BEST FRIEND HAS LOST THE LAST OF HIS MARBLES, I GOT SENT TO A DUNGEON DIMENSION, MY HOUSE IS A WRECK, AND NOW PIGS ARE TRYING TO EAT ME.
AG: I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON OR, FAILING THAT, WHAT THE FUCK I'M SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT.
AG: COLOR ME UNINTERESTED ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE.
GT: hehehe
AG: DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO STOP THAT?
GT: sorry!
GT: it's just...
GT: i really missed you, karl.
AG: OH MY GOD COME ON. IT'S BEEN LIKE HALF AN HOUR, TOPS.
GT: no, but...
GT: nevermind.
GT: okay first of all you need to find a weapon to allocate to your strife specibus.
AG: SHIT. THAT'S GOING TO REQUIRE GETTING OFF THE ROOF.
GT: i'd expect so, yeah.
AG: CAN I JUST... STAY UP HERE, FOR A LITTLE WHILE?
AG: IT'S REALLY QUIET.
AG: AND... KIND OF NICE.
GT: sure. i'll watch out for you.
AG: YEAH, WHATEVER.
Closing his eyes again, Karl lay back carefully until his back connected with the roof, letting himself settle against the shingles. It was flat and slanted at a low angle, and his feet rested against the gutter, holding himself there and preventing him from sliding down to meet the ground again. Now the sounds from below were fading, like a bad dream, replaced with his own shallow breathing and the steady thump of blood rushing through his ears and the chambers of his rotten heart. This was familiar. This was home.
This was where he needed to be.
At last, Karl turned his eyes towards the sky, and found that it was not as empty as he'd assumed; clouds he had not known were there had parted, revealing patches of slightly darker blackness pockmarked with stars-- and in the center of it all, directly above his head, was the thing that Solomon had drawn.
AG: HEY, FUCKASS. WHAT'S THAT THING ABOVE ME?
AG: IT'S A SPIROGRAPH, RIGHT?
GT: oh that?
GT: yeah, i guess that's the name for the design.
GT: that's not all it is, though!
GT: it's the gate.
AG: GATE? WHERE DOES IT GO?
GT: to other worlds. to your friends' worlds, when they get in the game.
GT: don't worry about it just now.
GT: you can't get there without the help of a server player, anyway.
AG: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING SUSPICIOUS, THOUGH.
AG: WHO THE FUCK WOULD PUT A GATE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GODDAMN SKY?
AG: THAT'S JUST SHITTY CODING, IS ALL THAT IS.
AG: I THINK--
And then, with great, groaning aplomb, the roof beneath Karl collapsed.
---
GT: well, that could have gone better.
AG: GEE, YOU THINK?
Karl stood in the middle of his ruined living room, broken beams all around and a layer of dust clinging to his clothing, brushing nails and bits of plaster our of his hair. Several of the imps had been crushed, at least, and he'd collected his first grist, managing to avoid the temptation to compare the shape to fruit gushers. Somehow, he hadn't felt that Egbert would appreciate the reference.
Currently, the only undamaged room in the house was his father's study, where he did not wish to go, and the garage-- and poking around the kitchen had revealed nothing but several broken, bent, and twisted knives, totally useless for his purposes. At least there were power tools in the garage, and Karl picked his way through the wreckage carefully, yanking hard on the door to make it push past half a desecrated bookcase so that he could slip through the resulting crack.
It was dark in the garage, darker than it had been outside, and spooky with only the phone's luminescent glow to guide him, and Karl didn't like it one goddamn bit.
AG: ALRIGHT, SO, WHAT DO YOU RECCOMMEND?
AG: I WAS JUST GOING TO GRAB THE FIRST THING I COULD FIND AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, BUT I GUESS I'M GOING TO DEFER TO YOUR SUPERIOR EXPERIENCE WITH THIS AWFUL BULLSHIT.
AG: THE WORLD MUST BE ENDING, I KNOW.
AG: OH, WAIT, IT ALREADY DID.
GT: it doesn't really matter.
GT: whatever feels right to you is obviously best!
GT: i've had a lot of different weapons, but there are a few i keep coming back to that just feel... natural.
AG: SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT THERE IS NO REASON FOR ME TO GIVE A SHIT AND I COULD, IN FACT, EQUIP A RUBBER CHICKEN FOR ALL THE DIFFERENCE IT WOULD MAKE.
GT: pretty much?
GT: i don't reccommend doing that, though.
GT: even if it would be hilarious.
AG: YOU COULD HAVE JUST FUCKING SAID THAT.
GT: look, i am trying to be the best spirit guide i can be, bro.
GT: don't blame me because you're impatient.
AG: FINE. WE ARE LEAVING THIS UP TO FATE.
Irritated again, as though that was unusual, Karl reached out towards his father's tool bench, and grabbed the first thing that came to hand. It was an ordinary hammer, small and weighted in his hand, but it felt good to hold, the shaft warm against his skin. It wasn't the perfect weapon, no, but it was good enough for him, and he allocated it to the proper specibus quickly, wanting to be be out of there and done with it.
Unfortunately, and quite suddenly, there was a loud crack, and half the light source vanished, signaling that someone-- or something --had slammed the garage door behind him, locking it.
Karl, for all intents and purposes, was trapped.
==>