(no subject)
Casey--
I miss you. I haven't been able to write to you at all yet, though I keep talking to you in my head. I think it's still just too hard and every time I think about you being dead, I still just don't believe it. I don't know where to go from here. I miss you so much and nothing since October has felt real.
I keep finding messages and things we've exchanged and it just... it doesn't make sense. You are still so alive and it just doesn't make any fucking sense.
It's just impossible to believe that you are gone and that I will never be able to tell you about anything that is happening here and you won't be able to talk to me about Cory or your new job and everything going on in Sacramento. I just don't understand how that could be... My heart is just broken.
I mostly love it our here so far, but I feel kind of isolated sometimes. It gets a little lonely and I don't even know what to do with myself now because all I want to do is talk to you and tell you about everything. I just don't understand how any of this could be real and not just some horrible nightmare. I just want to be able to talk to you and writing in this journal to you is not the same because you will never see it and I can't even write two sentences to you without sobbing my eyes out.
I don't know what to do.
I love you. I miss you.
A
I miss you. I haven't been able to write to you at all yet, though I keep talking to you in my head. I think it's still just too hard and every time I think about you being dead, I still just don't believe it. I don't know where to go from here. I miss you so much and nothing since October has felt real.
I keep finding messages and things we've exchanged and it just... it doesn't make sense. You are still so alive and it just doesn't make any fucking sense.
It's just impossible to believe that you are gone and that I will never be able to tell you about anything that is happening here and you won't be able to talk to me about Cory or your new job and everything going on in Sacramento. I just don't understand how that could be... My heart is just broken.
I mostly love it our here so far, but I feel kind of isolated sometimes. It gets a little lonely and I don't even know what to do with myself now because all I want to do is talk to you and tell you about everything. I just don't understand how any of this could be real and not just some horrible nightmare. I just want to be able to talk to you and writing in this journal to you is not the same because you will never see it and I can't even write two sentences to you without sobbing my eyes out.
I don't know what to do.
I love you. I miss you.
A