(no subject)
Today is a little bit of a hard day. I didn't even realize how emotional I was feeling until I read a post on reddit about some girl who wanted to spend the holiday with her boyfriend and his family, but that he didn't want to invite her and so on Thanksgiving, he spent the day texting her all the cool stuff he was doing and she spent the day crying. Anyway, I read through that post and, fucking waterworks. Apparently, I'm feeling very tender with regard to this subject... I think I am just so ready to have a boyfriend who I can spend holidays with and who can feel like family to me. I really miss having someone I can be attached to. Maybe that sounds really pathetic, but it's the truth.
I've been talking to Dave quite a bit this last week or so. It's been so amazing, it's pretty much helped me forget the fact that Jeff is probably still ghosting me, or at the very least, just super not into me. Today, Dave and I only talked for like an hour earlier and then we said goodbye and I think it's gonna be a little while before we talk again and I am just feeling so alone and the thing with Jeff just feels more pronounced.
Dave was drunk last night and texting me and he said that there really wasn't anything that he didn't like about me. He said he'd tell me because he just felt so comfortable telling me anything, but there was really nothing. I told him that's funny because he told me that there were things he didn't like about me, and he was like, "like what?" and then said that was probably just an excuse to not have feelings for me. God. This whole saga. My heart aches that I can't be with him, but honestly it soars that I can still talk to him as much as I do and that I can rely on him when I need a shoulder.